::: post-protestant thoughts :::

::: no garage sale just moving :::

2005-02-07T17:13:00.000-05:00

style="font-size:180%;">HERE!!! at some point between thanksgiving and christmas i began a 'remodeling' project that took on a life of its own . . . through a lot of trial and error i ended up with a 'new website' . . . since many of my 'regulars' have already found it and changed their links i decided that the decision to move or not to move was made for me . . . so from this point forward i am . . .

::: old attempts at creativity :::

2005-02-06T00:50:00.000-05:00

over at rearviewwindow . . . there is a link to Hal Samples work at the IR Gallery . . . look here at the Hero to Zero project . . . i have been making an honest attmpt to cultivate my creative side . . . when i was in high school one of my most important interests was photography . . . Hal does great work . . .

i found this at cbsnews.com . . . it was taken by a AP photographer . . . it speaks volumes to me about the 'good side' of american efforts in iraq . . .

peace :::

::: a voice from the past reminds me :::

2005-02-05T03:20:00.000-05:00

because of the events over the last few weeks i have been both pretty sick and pretty depressed . . . i probably still am depressed . . . today i went to the store . . . its a little further than our bathroom just down the hall so i’m counting that as progress . . . i am still extremely weak and i get tired so easily . . . there are so many things that have happened, happening, and pending . . . i can’t possibly blog it, and some are of the issues are not fit for public consumption, not even personal consumption, but intimate stuff . . . but this song represents how i am feeling . . .

You’re Only Human (Second Wind)

Original Release: 1985
You're having a hard time and lately you don't feel so good
You're getting a bad reputation in your neighborhood
It's alright, it's alright
Sometimes that's what it takes
You're only human, you're allowed to make your share of mistakes

You better believe there will be times in your life
When you’ll be feeling like a stumbling fool
So take it from me you'll learn more from you accidents
Than anything you could ever learn at school

Don't forget your second wind
Sooner or later you'll get your second wind
It's not always easy to be living in this world of pain
You're gonna be crashing into stone walls again and again
It's alright, it's alright

Though you feel your heart break
You're only human, your gonna have to deal with heartache
Just like a boxer in a title fight
You got to walk in that ring all alone
You're not the only one who's made mistakes
But they're the only things that you can truly call your own

Don't forget your second wind
Wait in your corner until that breeze blows in

You've been keeping to yourself these days
Cause you're thinking everything's gone wrong
Sometimes you just want to lay down and die
That emotion can be so strong
But hold on
Till that old second wind comes along

You probably don't want to hear advice from someone else
But I wouldn't be telling you if I hadn't been there myself
It's alright, it's alright
Sometimes that's all it takes
We're only human
We're supposed to make mistakes
But I survived all those long lonely days
When it seemed I did not have a friend
Cause all I needed was a little faith
So I could catch my breath and face the world again
Don't forget your second wind
Sooner or later you'll feel that momentum kick in
Don't forget your second wind
Sooner or later you'll feel that momentum kick in

peace :::

::: i am still here :::

2005-02-02T02:45:00.000-05:00

i am still here . . . i am not physically able to do much more than get off of the couch or out of bed for an occasional drink or getting rid of the one i had just a little earlier . . . my myasthenia gravis is really aggravated i have had this for about 5 years but nothing like this . . . i go back to mercy hospital thursday . . . i am concerned about going back . . . the last time not fun . . . i was on the verge of passing out, and nauseas, and this clammy sweat like hot flash all at the same time . . .

i am extremely weak . . . i no longer sit up at the computer and even occasionally blog . . . my sleeping habits are utterly whacked out too . . . if i stay up till say 4am i wake up at around 9am . . . if i go to sleep at around 11pm i wake up at 3am . . . thus the early morning post today . . . i'm trying to ‘just go with the currents’ . . . but know that i'm not doing that well at it i'm still fighting everything that's not going my way . . .

peace :::

::: is it really 'all good' ?? :::

2005-01-22T15:17:00.000-05:00

the presidential inauguration was controversial for me and other americans . . . here, here, here, and here . . . are articles discussing the prayers offered the inauguration . . . the supreme court on the 19th rejected a challenge to a clergy-led prayer . . . (more on that here) . . . not many comments on the prayers in blogdom . . . dwightfriesen did discuss the issue . . . but its not a ‘hot’ topic . . . in front of the capitol, before an audience of the president, and the entire viewing american public, even the entire world . . . . . .

civic ecumenism is of the utmost of importance in situations like this. . . one problem is evangelical triumphalism it assumes is theologically right about EVERYTHING . . . and if you disagree with the prayer the evangelical perspective is that (by osmosis) the prayer can ‘help you’ (individual desire and opinion is not considered) . . . if you down-right disagree you can . . . ‘just ignore it’ . . . however the truth is . . . a prayer like this further polarizes the situation and leaves those who didn't agree on the outside of the experience . . . this is EXACTLY what the country's framers wanted to prevent . . .

modern evangelical agendas believe that if the words . . . Jesus, Jesus, Jesus . . . (not to be confused with the culturally magical version ~ abracadabra ~ ) is said enough times, particularly in promenade places . . . somehow in a magical fashion people to ‘get saved’ . . . this is an algorithmic formula at best . . . it’s an expression of modern pop theology and a shortcut to relational methods . . . of course, every theological statement taken to its logical end bring us to irrational conclusions . . . does it have no redeeming value?. . . that can be argued both ways . . . i conclude it does have some value but harm occurs too . . . the problem for me is that this approach has become the normative model and not the exception . . . i strongly disagree with that . . . this method is somewhat effective for perpetrating mass levels of ‘cultural christianity’ . . . much like constantine did with roman culture . . . but is this the gospel?? . . . God forbid!

this approach is practiced by those that theologically adhere to nuda scriptura . . . no balance with tradition, no consideration of the early church fathers, and no confessional considerations . . . but i digress . . . more than helping ‘our cause’ these modern religious methods further polarizing our circumstances and this weeks presidential inauguration increased that divide . . . simply: the prayer, represented a christian theology and a use of language not shared by a nation of diverse beliefs . . .

chuck colson correctly observes . . . ‘there has been a complete role reversal between conservatives and liberals’ ... the president said "by the truths of Sinai, the Sermon on the Mount, the words of the Qur'an and the varied faiths of our people..." many feel this was an outrageous statement … clearly, christianity has played the most prominent role in this shaping the character of individuals in this country ... the president did not attempt to refute that … instead he was simply attempting to ‘give honor where honor is due’ . . . it IS a major world religion and SOME american have been made better by it . . . therefore, making our country better for it . . . i believe it was a good thing to say . . .

is this christianity?? … picture this … at an evangelical gala, conservatives -- sipping apple cider spritzers in martini glasses … where diamond cross necklaces replaced plunging necklines … some 800 conservative Christians "broke bread" at a $300-a-ticket celebration at the ritz-carlton hotel … one reporter observed -- across town, buddhists prayed for peace in a world torn by terrorism and war … the buddhists gathered for a candlelight vigil and meditation for the victims of war and aggression and those suffering from division, anger and fear … the stark contracts speak for themselves … the contrast as distasteful as it is liiustrates we are living in a theological upside-down-ville’ . . . this cultural/evangelical christianity has such a significant voice in the culture that nt models of . . . character formation, and the relational aspects are not being virtually heard … hugh byrne, a co-founder of the washington buddhist peace fellowship correctly observes that the buddhist vigil "has a different feel to it -- it's not all shouting slogans" . . . this is a terribly accurate indictment against our ‘christian’ apologetic . . . Lord, have mercy!

charles anderson, a lay minister from tx said . . . ‘we believe that God has set president bush in order for such a time as this and that he is an actual burning bush for the united states and for the world, kind of like a light . . . as the bush burns, it's also setting people free because fire cleanses." . . . this is obviously both ridiculous and extreme position admittedly but it does illustrate the lengths of this current heresy . . . this is civil religion at best not nt christianity . . . and certainly not the relational Jesus handed down to us . . .

praying for greater peace and the historic gospel:::

:::how do you spell LOVE? :::

2005-01-21T20:20:00.000-05:00

. . . a picture is worth a thousand words :::

things are progressing ... pretty well this process is EXTREMELY draining physically . . . i had the nurse take this picture for jonathan and thought i would post it too . . . the big (yellow) bag in the picture that looks like urine is NOT actually . . . close . . . those are my white blood cells that have been filtered out . . . 9 pints!!!

it was sort of an interesting experience today . . . . i have been discipling this guy (dwayne) for about . . . 4 months now . . . we haven't been able to meet as much as i would like because of the Christmas season at the store and my health . . . . i'm very bothered by that and we are working on being more intentional about spending time together . . . (when jonathan was really little and he was learning to spell i would ask him how to spell LOVE . . . and in a well rehearsed fashion . . . proudly, with an approving big smile he would correctly spell love: T – I – M – E) real discipleship has to be about sharing our lives together and not only the gospel . . . dwayne and i are working on intentionally prioritizing t - i - m - e . . . and today was just another step in the right direction . . . except i was the grace recipient this time . . . he has had an extremely difficult life . . . marriages, years of drugs, kids, and he is working through it . . . decisions that cannot be reversed easily . . . (i know a go deal about those sorts of things not because i have read about them) . . . (HE IS USING MOST EVERY AVAILABLE TOOLS AT HIS DISPOSAL . . . and that's saying something!). . . we got to talk for an hour or so on the way to the hospital . . . . he seems to be doing really good . . . he is consistently doing the next right things to the degree that he is making real progress . . . we are talking about doing a bible study at the store together . . .???. . . when i get healthy enough . . .

while ‘on the machine’ there was this rc priest next to me having the same procedure . . . (fr. farmer) we began talking about what i was reading (analogy :0 ) . . . biblical authority . . . by nt wright . . . he asked me about my journey . . . he was gentle and good natured . . . when i told him i attended an episcopal church he said . . . ‘oh, you mean catholic lite’ . . . i told him that the taste-great ~ less-filling thing was killing me at this point . . . . it was a very pleasant conversation . . . and he gave me the name of a friend who is a priest that lives near me . . . he said that this priest has pastoral gifts . . . which i need . . . very interesting day indeed . . .

God’s peace :::

::: spiritual hugging :::

2005-01-20T16:30:00.000-05:00

i successfully made it through yesterday's ‘procedure’ . . . it was not nearly as invasive as i had thought it might be . . . however i underestimated the level of weakness removing all of my blood would cause . . . on the return segment of the process they warmed my blood . . . that was very nice! . . . basically all that i can do is sit around and read . . . and blog ;) . . . its sounds heavenly even to me . . . but i’m a ‘people person’ . . . i miss the interaction of other people . . .

this morning i have been thinking . . . that as a result of theologically change over many years , i have intentionally attempted to move my family away from the protestant excess of nuda scriptura . . . our family has STRUGGLED … SIGNIFICANTLY … to implement ANY kind of gathering together to . . . pray . . . read . . . or celebrate . . . holy communion . . . (did i mention that this has been a significant struggle?) . . . of all the metaphysical efforts of my life this represents the single most difficult topology to advance and maintain . . . this is the single most important spiritual front to me personally . . . not the many Sunday school classes, not groups of teenagers visiting detention centers, not adult Christian education anywhere else . . . but at home . . . moving my family from practice (the intentionality of doing) , to routine (expected doing) to lifestyle (doing as a matter of assumption) . . . has been extraordinarily difficult . . .

today we are . . . s t i l l i n t e n t i o n a l . . . in this doing . . . but we are appreciating more intimate celebrations . . . holy communion . . . together . . . interestingly the ‘home version’ remarkably so much more intimate than the ‘processional version’ …

holy communion is only one of the directional devises of our journey … we typically light candles . . . particularly since advent … we bought several really large candles for advent and have been enjoying them since … the other night the candles had been burning for several hours . . . they were extremely soft, tender, and pliable … i had been wanting to ‘hug’ the candles (a great thing that loveable Linda taught me) to assist their burning and efficiency . . . and i began reflecting on the fact that similarly when we allow God’s Holy Spirit to indwell us through reading, prayer, reflection, meditation, etc. we too become softer, and increasing pliable . . . when we are negligent about hugging the candles and before learning how to properly hug candles the only way to increase the candle’s burning efficiency was . . . in their cold state to cut the tops with a sharp knife … its an obvious analogy i know . . . but so true … it is amazing to me how ‘hard’ my heart becomes as i busy myself with daily events . . .

God’s peace :::

::: i have the residue of life on my heart :::

2005-01-19T03:40:00.000-05:00

as you may have noticed over the past few weeks i have not blogged consistently . . . it is not because my heart has been empty and i ‘m without something to say . . . on the contrary . . . recently my heart has become so full that i haven’t known WHAT to blog . . . that’s why when i HAVE decided to blog they have been inordinately long . . . (i’m sorry for that) . . .

i have been reading recently . . . perhaps more than i have ever read . . . well at least since seminary . . . i haven’t really known what to say . . . this thing is in front of me . . . and it is not so much that i am afraid . . . well, perhaps . . . but it is more about what's inside of my heart . . . and i am fearful that it will come out . . . the bible says that confession is good for the soul . . . but you must always find someone who will/can/wants to hear your confession first . . . and then maybe . . .

many years ago when i was much young in the faith a tsunami of the soul occurred within me . . i was 22 years old and i had in fact lived unchurched all of my life . . . my father died while i was studying for the ministry . . . and for YEARS i was PISSED at God . . . i had for all intents, and purposes . . . put my life on hold (after He graciously salvaged it mind you from a garbage heap . . . some will assume i am speaking figuratively . . . i am not) i had put my life on hold and was working toward ‘full time’ ministry and God OWED it to me to help my constantly sick and now dying father . . . or so i unfortunately thought . . . that was a very long time ago . . . and in many ways that was even a different person . . . but his early death was not enough to break my stubborn heart . . . while still cocked in the full blown pissed off position of life loveable linda and i endured event after event after event, the death of my grandmother on the same day that my father died, a close uncle, a baby, i could go on . . . THAT WAS IT . . . i had come to the end of my willingness . . . THAT was the f*cking deal breaker for me . . . God had salvaged me from my own self destructive hand . . . only to f*ck my life up for His own satisfaction . . . after saving me from a life of misery, shame, and painful things that are not to be openly spoken of . . .

i was drowning in this life sized tsunami . . . my point is that these kinds of deeply painful difficulties revealed things about my heart and my heart’s condition that is simply . . . grotesque . . . like used menstrual rags is the way one author put it my hurt, anger, and fears were exposed . . . no longer being carefully guarded . . . that intense level of darkness is dangerously veneered in suburbia . . . but it is real . . . its all around us . . . and it scares me . . . at times like this it terrifies me . . . perhaps i am not the only one . . .

this much i know for sure . . . GOD IS STRONG AND GOD IS ABLE . . . but the current malaises found in today’s ‘pop christian sub-culture’ doesn’t have the power to blow the fuzz off a peach . . . . never mind heal the deep, and very real wounds of God’s people that God Himself longs to heal . . . parents alone at home with children who are dying . . . . married couples that are hurting and ashamed to tell anyone about the depths of their financial problems . . . their isolation and pain is so out of their control that the once infatuated lovers morph . . . despicably in the pain . . . they begin hurling insults at each other that are so damning neither of them are able to forget it, some make and live in silence, other don't . . . or the working heroin addict teetering at the edge of society . . . its all she can do to keep her waitress job at denny’s going . . . medicating herself with street drugs since she was a kid . . . she’s living with a constant throb caused by someone who was thought to be . . . trusted . . . we mildly interact with them everyday . . . but we don’t really ever see . . .

. . . there are still things like this deep things that remain in my heart . . . but in different forms . . . and that terrifies me . . . because they are much larger than i am . . . they are much larger than i could ever 'control' . . . and keep them decent and in order . . . i began crying as soon as i began typing this . . . i am afraid . . . not of doctors . . .not of pain . . . not of suffering . . . i am afraid of what remains within me . . . the residue of life . . . i am afraid of what the tsunami of the soul reveals within me . . . and who can hear my confession . . . and my own spiritual mother (the church) is a whore . . . she like the herion addict doesn’t properly care for her children . . . and i have the plaque on my heart from the residue of life . . . plaque like a persons teeth from a third world country . . . and i am afraid of what the tsunami of the soul reveals within me . . . and who can hear my confession . . .

'what i used to love, i love it no longer, but i lie, i love it still but less
passionately. again i have lied, i love, but more timidly, more sadly' (petrarch)

this blog/confession was for me . . . not for readers . . . I don’t know how to turn off the comments on this blog or maybe i would have??? . . . because . . . in the institutional church when ever i have said things like this . . . it has not been accepted (its too heavy someone would say) . . . some self professing self-help type is ready to tell me ‘it ain’t so’ . . . or i’m being to hard on myself . . . or perhaps just to negative . . . but it’s the truth despite all the talk . . . it’s the truth . . . and who can hear my confession . . . i have the residue of life on my heart . . .

forgive me Father for i have sinned . . . it has been far to many years since i made my last confession . . .

Lord, have mercy . . .
Christ, have mercy . . .
Lord, have mercy . . .

the peace of Christ be with you : : : +

:::Vatican Says Archbishop Kidnapped in Iraq :::

2005-01-17T17:03:00.000-05:00

UPDATE: The Iraqi Catholic archbishop of Mosul was kidnapped Monday in what the Vatican called an "act of terrorism." Archbishop Basile Georges Casmoussa, 66, was believed to be the highest-ranking Catholic prelate to be abducted in Iraq, where the local church has been the target of a bombing campaign which has rattled the tiny Christian minority. We have received news of the kidnapping of the ... Archbishop of Mosul, Basile Georges Casmoussa," Chief Vatican spokesman Joaquin Navarro-Valls told Reuters . . . (more)

::: what's that in your hand? :::

2005-01-17T13:54:00.000-05:00

yesterday I did not go to the celebration of the liturgy at trinity . . . i have not been feeling that well so i stayed at home and read . . . when loveable Linda and jonathan came home . . . we sat down and started talking . . . it was very refreshing because my reaction to being off of work and being sick has made me irritable . . . my communication has been poor lately and I have taken my frustrations out on my family . . . i am ashamed of that, and i feel awful . . . wednesday is my first plasma-pheresis treatment at mercy hospital . . .

i had been reading been all day and when she sat down my heart was full and fortunately the sort words softened my heart and i began emptying myself . . . thoughts on emerging church . . . and emerging theology began to flow and i talked again about my feelings around propositional theology but more spontanously than when i blogged about it . . . i admitted the many repeated mistakes i have made in the past related to various theological positions i have assumed within propositional theology . . . the various doctrines of the Holy Spirit, the swings between the importance and then the lack of importance around gifting, doctrines related to church structure, cell groups, small groups, blah, blah, blah . . . loveable linda listened and more than anyone in my life she has watched me both grow and shrink theologically through the years . . . and with all of my faltering she listens . . . propositional theology has been the source of much ‘angst’ more than once . . . but as i began to describe the relationship of propositional theology with humans and how our methods that bring logical specificity seeks an end point of separation and division . . defining and increased exactitude are pursued where greater degrees of doctrinal purity are assumed to exist . . . ultimately creating a manufactured (man made) belief system . . . separating individuals who will not (or cannot) logically (see) adhere to an interrupter’s lone perspective . . . and the cycles of division repeat as that specificity increases . . . my mind immediately went to an old testament story . . . and how a similar situation occurred in israel . . .

In 2 sam 6 the ark is being moved by the Israelites but not in the manner prescribed by God instead of transporting the ark by the poles as designed by God the israelites get an innovative idea . . . "they set the ark on a new cart . . . uzzah and ahio, sons of abinadab, were guiding the new cart " . . . its a disaster the ox pulling the cart stumbles the ark gets tipsy . . . so to prevent the ark of God’s presence from falling this genius "uzzah reached out and took hold of the ark of of God because the oxen stumbled ". . . the records:

“... because of his irreverent act therfore Gods struck him down and he died
there beside the ark of God ...”

this story has always intrigued me on a couple of levels . . . when i first starting following Christ these kinds of stories always alluded me . . . i would read them and not understanding i would sort of find fault with God but i couldn't tell anyone that . . . why does He always seem to be cocked in the pissed off position? i thought to myself . . . it seemed to me that uzzah was only trying to help . . . thoughts like that were in my mind but i had no one to tell that to . . . but when i discovered some of the rabbinical traditions eplaining some of these passages they really helped me understand the story, parts of its message, and ultimately God . . .

the rabbinical tradition tells that God is not being like some modern overprotective car owner concerned that someone would scratch the ark . . . its really not so much about God it seems as it is a story within a story an that smaller story is about the assuming attitude of uzzah (the minister in this case!) . . . it seems uzzah had unconsciously assumed his own hands were far less defiling than the potential defilement of the dust of the earth . . . in other words "he thought more highly of himself than he ought" . . . which is the critical connection that brings me back to propositional theology . . .

propositional theology then is the logical extraction of key elements within the sacred stories entrusted to us . . . in the manufacturing process of propositional theology we are attempting to concentrate key points making it easier to get the larger point . . . my position is quickly becoming that this manufacturing process involved in the formulation of doctrine at man’s hands is analogous to what occurred in 2 sam 6 . . . God has already given us a methodology in the form of sacred stories themselves . . . these texts are in a literary form (oral or written they are still stories) . . . when they remain in that form discussion is inevitable and has a distinctly different sense than propositional discussions . . . various aspects of the story bubble to the top of lives and the story 'speaks to us' . . . lending its self to greater depths of community exchange and interpersonal involvement . . . HOWEVER . . . we like uzzah extend our hand toward the stories God has given us and we create our own tipsy carts we piously name church doctrine . . . for whatever reasons we are not content to just leave the stories as God gave them to us . . . we feel the need to extend our hands toward the sacred . . . and as we extend our hand toward the stories God has given us we mistakenly assume that the filth of our own hands will not defile God’s presence within those stories . . . so we help them, we prop them up with our own hands . . .

God’s peace :::

::: its the good ship lollipop :::

2005-01-14T04:45:00.000-05:00

henri nouwen tells what it feels like to be christian amid the carcass of modernism during the late 20th century . . . nouwen was at that time a chaplin on a cruise lines . . . one day he was standing on the bridge of the dutch ship as it was making its ways through the thick fog into a port in rotterdam . . . ‘the fog was so thick that the helmsman could not see the bow of the ship . . . the captain carefully listening to the radar station operator who was guiding him into the safeharbor amidst other ships . . . nervously he paced up and down the ships bridge . . .” while pacing the captain walked into henri . . . the ships chaplin . . . being very tense the captian cursed henri and told him to stay the hell out of the way . . . nouwen’s tender heart obviously filled with feelings of incompetence and guilt . . . turned to walk away . . . and the captain said somewhat sentimentally: ‘hey why don’t you just stay around, this may be the only time I really need you’ . . .

there was a time when priests and christian ministers had a place of standing with the captains of the larger culture . . the church's influence was both credible and relevant . . . not merely on the periphery of the culture the church was an integral component within it . . . if modernism has brought anything to civilization it is the fine weather of the best-fed, best-housed, best-clothed people in history, . . . spawning additional benefits like rights for women, children, and minorities, these incredible achievements have however exacted a great price over time . . . the marginalization of christianity’s influence to the proverbial sidelines . . . marginalized at best . . . useless, in the way and lacking any significant contribution at worst . . . nouwen concludes the story with the conclusion that ‘we’ who live within the ruins of modernism during the late 20th century . . . (who are ministry types) long to touch the center of men and women’s lives . . . but instead we are all to often relegated to the periphery . . . we no longer hold a place where the plans of life are formulated or where the strategies of life are discussed . . . I suspect that the answer lies within us . . . within the churches own DNA . . . the methods that we use to form our epitomized truth, that manufactured truth is believed to be truth in its purest form, we call it absolute truth . . .

john 14:6 tells us that Jesus says “. . . I am the way the truth and the life . . . “ somehow modernism has been seduced into believing that its own manufactured (absolute) truth is greater than or equal to Jesus Himself . . . the idea of absolute truth has its origin in hellenistic platonism’s perfection viewed as heavenly bodies or forms . . . absolute beauty, absolute joy, absolute . . . fill in the blank . . . when in reality "absolute" truth is a person not forms that reflect perfection to earth . . .

for better or worse . . . the early christian church in the mists of defending faith aligned themselves with rome . . . and like the modern day Nike corporation seeks out a promising hopeful the church positioned and postured to have the big roman kid ‘constantine’ wearing our sneakers on the court of life for the all of humanity to see . . . well he has worn our sneakers in every game since that time . . . and many argue that as a result western civilization has dominated the ideological wars . . . politics, economics, social institutions and a whole host of other external factors benefited . . . and the church went along for the ride . . . however, the church like nouwen at the bridge is left standing in the way of the fine weather this has all brought . . . the roman kid has now outgrown his youthful nike’s that once served him growing up . . . now the roman kid has an entourage and an agent giving him advice . . . and the entire world has watched as he has grown increasingly discontent with the single sponsor mentality . . . a single religious sponsor no longer fills the need . . . and some are even suggesting that we could now even do away with religious sponsorships altogether . . . so here we stand ‘in the way’ as the real captains of this cultural ship paces and contemplates our standing . . . we don’t need religious fanatics on the decks of democratic nations . . . or on the bridge of the america corporate boardrooms . . . particularly since all of the real work is now being done without them! . . . the episcopal bishop of newark, new jersey. john shelby spong in an article in christian century . . . explained the difficulties that episcopals have faced in this environment we find ourselves in . . . an environment of irrelevance . . .

"we sponsor workshops on church growth, helpful techniques for how to make church life more inclusive, how to bring back those who drift away, how to incorporate new members, how to carry out community-building activities. But at the deepest level this program of evangelism is, I believe, addressing only the Christian “in” group or fanning the religious nostalgia of the past. The vision of Christianity to which it calls people is by and large a narrow view of the way things used to be. Evangelism as it is presently constituted does not address the central missionary and evangelical questions of our post-Christian world, questions which are far more radical than those who are committed to evangelism seem to recognize."

Lord, have mercy . . .
Christ, have mercy . . .
Lord, have mercy . . .

peace :::

::: be careful what you ask for :::

2005-01-12T20:33:00.000-05:00

be careful what you ask for you might get it !!! . . . if you haven’t yet seen the movie ‘the terminal’ it is a good movie about a guy that is semi-permanently stuck in an international airport terminal because of immigration problems . . . he is 'a man without a country' . . . the theme of the movie . . . well that's sort of where i am with regards to my current health and the prescribed treatments . . . i feel like i'm living in a 'virtual terminal' of my own but instead of 'simple' immigration problems i am having . . . insurance problems . . . I work for a major american telecommunications corporation . . . i have good health care benefits . . . i can’t imagine what kinds of ‘run-arounds’ people that don’t have decent health care encounter . . . that in its self is somewhat humbling . . . there is so much confusion and conflicts between the insurance company, the primary health care provider, and the specialists . . . its a mess . . . so much so they can't get me scheduled until the 'administrative issues' between them are settled . . . meanwhile i had another difficult day . . . yuck! my inabilities are place more responsibilities on loveable linda . . . :(

earlier this summer our family went white water rafting . . . at first everyone in the raft worked really hard individually . . . even to the point of ‘fighting’ against the strength and power of the rivers current . . . had we continued with this original (planned from shore) ‘tactic’ of fighting the river . . . despite the helmets, the paddles, and the personal floatation devises . . . we could have died . . . (in after some time we began simply ‘going with it’ (like we really had an option) and the flow of the river which just moments earlier was an adversary to be resisted quickly became the source of a summer’s highlight . . . an adventurous day . . . with lots of stories and a vernacular of its own . . .

“the illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” alvin toffler

this quote best describes where my head is regarding this health issue . . . rather than fighting it i am sincerely trying to ‘go with it’ and despite the personal floatation devises that might come in the form of health care aids. . . the truth is i could drown (not litereally) if i don’t . . . move from having learned, to unlearning, to relearning . . . this time of waiting has been VERY INTENSE . . . i normally read a lot . . . but since before thanksgiving i have been reading incessantly . . . and the . . . absorption rate . . . has created come very fertile ground in both my heart and in my mind . . . my sense is that this health inconvenience may be just what my soul now needs . . .

. . . speaking of reading . . . i recently read the pew internet & american life project and elon university agreed with the following prediction regarding the future of the internet . . .

at least one devastating attack will occur in the next 10 years on the networked information infrastructure or the country’s power grid . . .
1,286 experts in this survey agreed that in the next 10 years the internet will be more deeply integrated in our physical environments and high-speed connections will proliferate – with mixed results . . .
they also believe ** the dawning of the blog era ** will bring radical change to the news and publishing industry and they think the internet will have the least impact on religious institutions . . . humm . . . I wonder if they are considering the ec or the ic in this assessment??

btw : : : for those interested in classic church literature take a look at some of the ebooks in the margin to the right at the bottom of the page . . . if you anticipate struggling with other traditions perhaps starting with :::catholic catechism ::: might be a good place to start . . . specifically under the section on prayer . . . its REALLY good . . .

peace : : :

::: dear abby :::

2005-01-10T05:45:00.000-05:00

i received several encouraging notes of support for the dialysis treatments that i am scheduled to undergo at mercy hospital this week (i have myasthenia gravis and that's why i posted on sunday instead of monday) . . . about 5-6 hours each day . . . i am taking a few ‘friends’ . . . their written words have been a real source of perspective lately . . . i like many bloggers prefer control over the events of life . . . but this is clearly a season of releasing that control and usually that involves some level of discomfort or its not really testing . . . please remember my entire family in prayer . . . lovable linda is taking on far too much . . . and she is having some stuff herself and is not at 100% either . . .

another source of frustration is i received a couple of emails that ‘challenged’ my previous blog entitled : : : the problems with believing : : : the blog was written out of my sincere struggles with questions that are not allowed in the other spaces of my life . . . the email was . . . p a g e s . . . a n d . . . p a g e s . . . l o n g . . . so i almost didn't respond and because the thoughts were not fully developed . . . but i wanted to give the blogging community an opportunity to engage in the conversation and help . . . so I attached a **few** of the questions and some of my own responses . . . perhaps some of our roman catholic friends will assist with the "un-finished questions" w/in the comments sections . . . honestly stuff like Mariology are obstacles for me too and i would like to learn too . . . here are the questions and some responses . . .

William said:
. . . I can assure you that we agree on key issues, and disagree on some as well. . . . forgive me for not doing this in your "comment" fields next to your blog . . . [you said in your earlier blog] - "because protestants find their ultimate source of authority within the 'storehouse' of scripture . . . principles, truth propositions, and statements of faith are endlessly pursued (ad nauseum) ... this approach has the unspoken effect of leaving our sisters and brothers at that altar . . . the altar of sacrifice . . . simply for what we believe to be true . . . and in the name of some kind of good . . . we sacrifice our fellowship and accept divisions as normative . . . and i want no part of that . . . this single component alone is in direct contrast to the ecumenical imperative Christ himself prayed that his adherents would possess " I . . . don't necessarily agree . . . is all theological division "bad"? You live and teach because of freedoms afforded by Luther and company that allow you to do so

post-protestant response:
there are several issues knotted up here . . . but william you began with what i believe is an over-generalization . . . if one theological case for division can be illustrated as ‘acceptable’ others must by necessity be ‘good’ too . .

the nature of this statement focuses on my thought that there is within scripture an *** ecumenical mandate *** . . . John 13:33-35 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” . . . John 17:10-12; John 17:21-23 . . . these are Christ own (arguably dying) words . . . Jesus is establishing a 'plumb-line' or 'trajectory' for HOW was are to behave in His absence . . . this 'new' command theme is then picked up again . . . paraphrased and re-emphasized decades later in the letters of john . . . 1 John 3:10-12; 1 John 4:11-13; 1 John 4:6-8; . . . then he ‘brings it up’ again in 2 John 1:4-6 . . . paul supports the thought in romans 13:7-9 . . . peter also stresses its importance in 1 Peter 1:21-23; . . . that's not to mention the numerous variations on this theme . . . like paul again in romans 12:9-11 'be devoted to one another' and so on . . . the early church was so committed to this practice that they were accused of homosexuality . . . (none of those accusations in modern evangelical circles! but we would be willing to testify before congress about homosexuals if asked!) . . . simply said: I believe that the ** ecumenical mandate ** is one of the primary themes of the nt church and the nt text . . .

William said:
I think caution should be exercised . . . You seem to reel against "Protestantism" because of the protestant tendency to dig and dig into scripture to find truth . . . . scripture says "Heaven and Earth shall pass a way but My word will not".

post-protestant response:
clearly, one of my original points was that . . . "I am VERY, VERY uncomfortable deconstructing something that someone perhaps walked to a stake to preserve . . .” as a matter of fact scotty mentioned in the comments that this too was a part of the larger story that we find ourselves in . . . if we’re intellectually honest the critics of christianity are embarrassingly correct . . . it is amazing the degree to which we have the uncanny knack for getting things so utterly wrong ‘in scripture’ . . . a few examples might be:

--> galileo who embraced copernican theory and as a result suffered at the hands of the those who also had ‘the word of the Lord’ . . . under torture forced to renounce copernican theories, and sentenced to life imprisonment . . . (that may falsely be interpreted as additional ‘catholic mistakes’) but . . .
--> the protestant versions of mistaken ‘biblical interpretations’ in support of
colonialism’s many forms including the ultimate massacre of an entire continent
of native american indians . . . ** heathens ** . . . was the unfortunate term
used to describe that people group . . .
--> the protestant churches in the american south’s reaction to the civil rights movement, and its nt justification, and the correction ultimately that originated outside the church with a Hindu yogi . . . Mahatma Gandhi . . . fortunately read, and understood by an african-american minister named martin luther king jr . . . clearly protestant christians have made HUGE mistakes too PROCLAIMING our (latest) interpretations of scripture . . . the truth is those ‘word of the Lord’’ statements don’t exist in an environment that supports the statement . . .

the second part of this statement is a little more difficult because it addresses the question of ultimately where authority belongs . . . and I haven’t honesty settled that entirely . . . but it seems clear that it is not . . . nuda scriptura (naked scripture) . . .

William said:
You . . . have brushed over the hard truths of the Roman Catholic Church - in Luther's time AND now. I wonder if you are seeing it through the "rose colored glasses" created by the fog of hundreds of years

post-protestant response:
there are some underling aspects of truth in your comment . . . I am intentional looking for the positive aspect from the catholic church (both in the eastern and the western traditions) . . . because i believe that they have a lot to teach those who are open . . . specifically their depth in spiritual disciplines . . . the only way that this logic can be consistent ultimately is if you believe that the catholic church has been so thoroughly corrupted that they/we are no longer a part of the historic christian church . . .

William said:
where also is the scripture supporting Mary as our Holy defender in Heaven?

post-protestant response:
i am not an 'authority' on roman catholicism . . . i worte earlier about the importance of intellectual honesty . . . that knife cuts two ways . . . I must confess that i too struggle with mariology . . . however the fact that 13 years after the reformation there are recorded prayers to Mary by martin luther challenges my thinking on this issue . . . but I still struggle . . .

William said:
Find the scripture supporting the Roman Catholic belief that only a priest may hear confession for the forgiveness of sins, and act as the "intermediary" between us and God.

post-protestant response:
I suspect that you may be over generalizing here again . . . the catholic church does not to my knowledge prohibit confession between adherents . . . and because it is organized around the concept of a hierarchical form of government that is ‘scripturally based’ . . . differently than you or i may interprete the passages but ‘scripturally based’ nevertheless . . . clearly acts 15; and 1 tim 3 illustrate an early forms of catholicism related to church structure . . . interpretation of the structure is another issue . . .

William said:
Find the physical object (Graven image) worship in scripture, and accepted by God?. The rosary. The cross with the body. The medallions. Holy water.

post-protestant response:
respectfully, i suspect that you might have adoration, veneration, and worship confused . . . (take my word for it our catholic brother DO NOT!!) . . . again i am by no means a spokesmen for roman catholicism . . . however the rosary is both the name of a devotional prayer and a chain of beads that became popular in the fifteen century . . . the rosary started out like ‘prayer beads’ from other religions as a systematic method of counting elements of prayer, the apostle’s creed, or the Our Father, or the hail mary prayers . . . originally the beads were advised for those considering the priesthood . . . it was a method to organize the devotional life . . . in my mind that is an exceptionally good thing . . . (fyi...the avg. time an american evangelical spends in prayer per week ~ 7-8 mins!! ~ barna) making the sign of the cross has been a tradition of the entire church has been around for almost as long as the bible has been around (pre-reformation) . . . take a look at this link for additional insights . . .

William said:
The truth is, Roman Catholicism became "Christianity, plus..."
plus virgin worship
plus non-married priests
plus object worship
plus gold-inlaid buildings with marble
plus only priests teaching scripture legally and having Bibles to do so.
plus Latin-only services
plus "blessed water" in bowls around the building.
plus priests mediating our confessions
plus celibate ministers who can't marry
plus the creation of "nuns"
plus the position of Pope
plus the infallibility of the Pope. (The irony here being their claim that Peter was their first Pope, and also infallible. Scripture SURELY doesn't indicate his infallibility. Far from.)
plus stigmata
plus Veronica's veil

post-protestant response:
I believe you have incorrectly concluded that modern evangelical worship services are in some way similar to ancient nt worship services . . . the fact is that both the tradition and scriptural evidence for a sacramental liturgy is far superior to the modern initiated ‘worship and praise’ services that focus more on entertainment and not holy communion and just as a point of clearification . . . that’s a wholesale version of ‘christianity plus’ . . .

it seems that you also may have concluded that luther (and the other reformers) efforts were 'right' . . . (i'm not convinced) . . . that is a hotly debated point in modern theological circles with excellent arguments on both sides . . . the spirit of passages like mat 18 might be an intra-textual argument against it . . . particularly when the church organization is a part of the problem . . . it sounds as if your belief system requires that my belief system conforms . . . that’s a pretty significant problem (in my opinion) . . . because it assumes that ‘right belief’ (dogma) is necessary for salvation . . . (if God's voice can be heard through general revelation within creation and salvation is not provided for . . . that doesn't makes sense and it is unjust) . . . the lure and promise of theological uniformity does not by necessity guarantee genuine unity or oneness . . . the truth is I get confused too from time to time with some of this stuff . . . but i'm really am sorry many pages of questions are just to much volume to process at this point for me sorry . . . keep looking . . . perhaps we can get some of the other bloggers to comment . . . and help us through these questions . . .??

peace : : :

::: trouble: the servant of our own souls :::

2005-01-05T13:20:00.000-05:00

I haven’t posted anything for a while for 3 reasons . . . (1) the number of sites that have information, videos, and pictures regarding the disaster are a little mind boggling to me . . . and make me feel like a social voyeur . . . i have included these comments by nt wright because it is more centrally focused on perspectives than titillation . . . (2) I have really been struggling mentally with the blog below and I wanted to get Honest feedback for some of the folks that visit this site every now and again . . . thanks for your comments . . . i am planning on a follow up article regarding another method assuming that propositional/systematic theologies are not acceptable going forward . . . what then?? (3) I have somewhat unexpectedly run into some physical problems . . . I have myasthenia gravis and I am experiencing some fairly significant disruption to the ‘normal’ routines of my life . . . apparently after a disruption at work yesterday and 6 hours in the emergency room i saw my neurologist today and he is suggesting that I have a procedure called plasma-pheresis . . . the series of treatments are going to be done locally at the Dialysis Clinic, Inc. . . . to say the least i am not to excited about doing this . . . because after this process is over i should be ready for the thymus removal/surgery . . . i'm going to be off work ramping into this . . .??? pray for me . . .

as you can see i have also included the nt wright comments on disaster . . .

Does God have a responsibility to stop earthquakes and tidal waves? The story of Jesus raises much subtler questions
By: NT Wright
The ancient Jewish writers saw the sea as evil. It floods and destroys the world. It
stands between the Israelites and freedom. It rages horribly; monsters come out
of it. There is a hint that God had to overcome the dark primal waters in order
to create the world in the first place.
Ancient symbols spring into unwelcome new life. The murderous mountain of water that charged across the Indian Ocean on Boxing Day rivals the Lisbon earthquake of 1755 in its deadly power. Lisbon caused a sea-change in the Enlightenment itself: before it, Bishop Butler could gaze at the natural world and infer Christian theology, but Lisbon drove a wedge between God and the world, giving fresh impetus to the idea of God as an absentee landlord and then, not long after, a mere absentee. Since then, it has been assumed that "God" has a responsibility to stop things like earthquakes and tidal waves; if He doesn't, they constitute a standing disproof. What's the point in saying "The heavens declare the glory of God", if tidal waves declare His incompetence? Western culture hasn't advanced much beyond that sterile stand-off. This week's horror won't change it any more than did the man-made nightmare of 11 September 2001.

People today assume that a "religious" view of life must address "the problem of evil", the toughest part of which is so-called "natural evil". Evil isn't as bad as it seems, say some; or it's all someone's fault (or, with natural evil, Satan's fault); or it offers a chance for greater moral virtue (courage, and so on). One major tsunami does to theories like that what it does to buildings and people: it crushes them to
matchwood.
In a culture heavily influenced by Judaism and Christianity, one might have hoped that the Bible would play a part in the discussion. People seem to assume that it's irrelevant. The general view is that the Bible offers an escape from the world into a personal religion. But that view is itself the result of the Enlightenment's eductionism.

The Bible itself resists such treatment. It constantly acknowledges evil - "human" and "natural" alike - as a terrible reality. It doesn't try to minimise it, to explain that good will come of it, or to blame someone (reactions which correspond uncomfortably closely to the excuses offered by immoral or warmongering politicians). It tells a story about the Creator's plan to put the world to rights, a plan which involves a people who are themselves part of the problem as well as the bearers of the solution.

That people, the family of Israel, are brought through the sea to the promised land, despite grumbling on the way. Through long years of Babylonian exile, they cry out for a new Exodus, for their God again to overrule the mighty waters from which came the monsters of pagan empire. This is the people whose prophets tell of God's intention to deal with evil itself, so that the wolf and the lamb would lie down together, and the earth be awash with the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea. The healing of creation will result from the Servant of the Lord going down to the depths, taking evil's weight on to himself, exhausting its power.
When the early Christians wrote about Jesus, this was the story they believed themselves to be telling. They didn't see him as simply a teacher, a moral example, or even as one who saved people from a doomed world. They told his story as the point where the dark forces of chaos converged, in the cynical politics of Herod and Pilate, the bitter fanaticism of the Pharisees, the wild shrieks of diseased souls, the
sudden storms on the lake. They invite us to see his death on the analogy of
Jonah's being thrown into the sea, there to be swallowed by the monster called
Death. They insist that in this death God has taken upon Himself the full force
of the world's evil. As a sign of that, the final book of the Bible declares that in the new world, now already begun with his resurrection, there will be no
more sea.
Saying this precisely does not give Christian theology an easy explanation ("Oh, that's all right then") for the continuing presence of evil in the world. On the contrary, it tells a story about Jesus's own sense of abandonment, and thereby encourages us to embrace the same sense of helpless involvement in the sorrow of the world, as the means by which the world is to be healed. Those who work for justice, reconciliation and peace will know that sense, and perhaps, occasionally, that healing. This isn't the kind of answer that the Enlightenment wanted. But maybe, as we launch into the deep waters of another new year, it is the kind of vocation we ought to embrace in place of shallow analysis and shrill reaction.

Tom Wright is the Bishop of Durham

the peace of Christ be with you : : :

: : : the problems with believing : : :

2004-12-30T14:56:00.000-05:00

This is one of my more difficult blogs ever . . . (forgive me for its length I am still in process!) I have not blogged this week 'real-time' because I have been working on . . . wordsmithing . . . etc. . . . I needed to 'put to paper' some thoughts that I have been wading through and answer a question regarding the veracity of the virgin birth started over at area 215. . . this mental food fight became an apex for me and forced me to organize the thoughts that have been 'crock-potting' inside of my head since just before fall of this year . . . hopefully I will be able to present a authentic post protestant thought for a change . . .

early in my christian experience my interests were primarily relational . . . eventually my experience began leading to an emphasis on doctrine and even early on the doctrines tended to create relational cracks . . . doctrine began subtly separating those around me, and at times isolated me from others . . . similarly it divided members of the early church and its propensities to division persists with members of the modern church . . . particularly within evangelical protestantism . . . so that I'm not totally misunderstood . . . christian doctrine has been an indispensable learning and teaching aid for me personally. . . which leads me to the first of several theological dilemmas I find myself facing . . . recently the movment away from sola scriptura has not been without great concern to me . . . thanks to a wise byzantine seminary professor and a good roman catholic friend that is wise beyond his years . . . I am migrating away from that . . .

there are essentially 3 schools of thought regarding the place that tradition has within the church . . . (1) tradition maintains that the scriptures we possess today have 'all sufficiency' of truth within themselves for salvation and right living to be found . . . (2) a two source notion whereby christian revelation is only partly contained in the text, with another necessary part wedged in the oral traditions of the apostles passed down through their disciples (3) and finally, the Holy Spirit abides within the church at large giving inspiration and illumination . . . specifically being manifested with the popes and the various councils and these 'findings' are therefore binding on their adherents . . . it seems reasonable to me from this perspective that that much (two-thirds in fact) of the nt (specifically the epistles) were written as 'supplements' to a theology which had already been orally deposited . . . and this seems to be assumed by the authors themselves . . . it seems clear that these epistles were never intended to be a template or manual for rationalistic theology as we use it today . . . therefore my conclusion is that authority rest with scripture and at a minimum somewhere else . . . pehaps more later . . .???

one of the first problems is that if I am intellectually honest I must also admit that specifically the pastoral epistles appear on one hand to assume the existence of set or fixed church order (liturgy) . . . 2 peter refers to paul's letters as scripture . . . and 1 john tells us that without 'right belief' . . . christian love and brotherly fellowship is impossible (is that because right belief directs right attitudes? and if you have right attitudes is right belief not necessary? perhaps??) . . . if these assumptions are true it 'appears' as though the nt itself contains many of the 'essential' elements of early catholicism . . . (liturgy, scripture, community) . . . many roman catholic scholars in reaction to protestantism's disproportionate dependence on Sola (Solo) Scriptura point to this as 'evidence' for a more balanced view that tradition does play in our ecclesiastical formation . . . not to mention the difficulties between whether the canon was 'recognized' by men as God inspired or if the church, acting through its bishops, and councils conferred approval upon the canon . . . back-and-forth-back-and-forth . . .

I'm coming to the conclusion that our faith does not adequately 'fit' in propositional language . . . for an example innocuous propositions like "God is Love", can inadvertently be misinterpreted to mean that because God is Love . . . God is unable to punish via eternal damnation . . . intrinsic to the proposition itself is a contradiction . . . these propositional statements are the beginning of another problem I am groping through. . . they are simply inadequate communication devises primarily because of the propensities to misinterpretations, offenses and deeply seated divisions . . .

clearer still is that the nt canon was written in a pre-critical environment . . . methods of interpretation using modern insights into the nature of history, language, culture, and literature were not used. . . and it seems self evident that if 'right-belief' is necessary to love and fellowship appropriately then propositional statements could theoretically be arranged to 'distill' these highlights in a systematic fashion that is coherent, comprehensive, and consistent . . . I sincerely believe that the catholic church (east and west) has a lot of substance to contribute to the overall conversation between believers on both issues of orthodoxy and orthropraxy . . . which leads me to my next problem and that is the lack of ecclesial unity . . . or ecumenical cooperation

because protestants find their ultimate source of authority within the 'storehouse' of scripture . . . principles, truth propositions, and statements of faith are endlessly pursued (ad nauseum) and this pursuit is that the very foundation of protestantism and its propensities particularly within modern evangelicalism are dominated by a theological momentum aimed at greater separation, conflict and divisions which are (silently) considered 'necessary evils' administered for the perceived greater good . . . this approach has the unspoken effect of leaving our sisters and brothers at that altar . . . the altar of sacrifice . . . simply for what we believe to be true . . . and in the name of some kind of good . . . we sacrifice our fellowship and accept divisions as normative . . . and I want no part of that . . . this single component alone is in direct contrast to the ecumenical imperative Christ himself prayed that his adherents would possess . . . unity . . . that we would be one as He and the Father are One . . . and the 'source code' for these divisions seems to squarely fit propositional theology . . .

much like its adherences 'the church' (protestant, catholic and orthodoxy) goes through cyclical periods of corruption and renewal . . . it is so captivating (but sad) that my own protestant brothers so easily point out the splinters in our catholic brother's theologically eye . . . while (apparently) being completely content with our own protestant variations on 'non-traditional' (and at times down right heretical) theology, the motivating force here is intrinsic to protestantism itself . . . specifically, it the endless pursuit of theological purity, and unfortunately this driving force for doctrinal purity is pursued at most any cost including the expense of the ecumenical imperative prayed for by Christ himself and re-emphasized by john in john 13:34-35; 17:20-22; 1 john 4:20-21 . . . in my mind the destructive character of propositional theology is so negative that it negates it as a possibility to either develop or pursue for me going forward . . . (that is very significant for me because I don't know what the rest of the story holds . . .??)

the movements of theological deconstruction have been so extensive that every time I mentally 'retrench' into what I think is a safe position I find that I have not retrenched deeply enough . . . and the theological deconstruction persists making it extremely difficult to find a firm 'terra-theologica' for the most part everything at this point is uncomfortably fluid . . . what is extremely uncomfortable about the entire deconstruction process is what I might describe as potentials of inherent arrogance within the deconstruction process or at least my fear of it . . . these words that I am 'putting to paper' are by no means original to me and I am simply distributing what I have already digested in readings other men's thoughts but still . . . who the hell am I (or anybody else for that matter) to deconstruct what the early church constructed . . . if we are not accepting of the earliest theological deposits made within the patristic periods that clearly communicates a level of distrust on behalf of the deconstructist as it relates to their judgments . . . and I am VERY, VERY uncomfortable deconstructing something that someone perhaps walked to a stake to preserve . . . thus the logical conclusion toward roman catholicism . . .

now for the question that brought me to write this epic . . . the doctrine of the virgin birth . . .do I believe in a virgin birth?????????

the virgin birth and its veracity is as important as the issue of messiahship was to the jews (and christians) of the first century . . . at the end of the day it is an issue of interpretation . . . and interpretation is primarily determined by epistemological points of origination . . . I simply believe in the story contained within scripture . . . a major component of that story is that a virgin birth a Son . . . is it myth or is it truth . . . that only matters if propositional theology is pursued . . . if you approach the issue as a story it's literal or allegorical nature become inconsequential and non-toxic . . . propositional theology has little ultimate interest in connecting or developing the average worshipping congregation . . .

YES, I believe in the wonderful story of Jesus . . . . and a virgin birth is very much a part of that story . . .

peace : : :

: : : just another monday : : :

2004-12-27T13:58:00.000-05:00

There is a 2 inch layer of snow across the yard this morning . . . jonathan is still asleep, and linda just left for the store . . . I go a book entitled everyman’s Talmud for christmas . . . it is really good . . . it is sort of like reading plato or socrates again . . . it has a fundamental depth (a kind of starting point) that I really appreciate . . . excellent stuff and highly recommended . . . I think that it has already become a reference point for me . . . this year the christmas season was a lot less about gifts and a whole lot more about the advent anticipation . . . I wonder if he will come today?

As you may know from reading my blog, I have a pretty good job but recently I have growing questions about staying there . . . my recent reading in the talmud has again confirmed my initial suspicions about ‘professional ministry’ . . . according to the talmud:

‘it is a man’s duty to work, not only to earn his livelihood, but likewise
to contribute his quota to the maintenance of the social order . . . an
excellent thing is the study of torah combined with some worldly occupation, for
the labor demanded by them both makes sin to be forgotten. All study of the
torah without work must in the end be futile and become the cause of sin . .
.’

I have been reading and thinking a lot about the issue of absolutes . . . and thanks to nt wright I see now like never before that the concept of absolutes is fundamentally Hellenistic and not Hebrew . . . consequently the ideas such as eden being “perfect” before the fall is not by logically necessity the way that God’s people have always viewed it . . . the bible says that creation was good . . . not perfect . . . and clearly the neo-platonism of people like augustine bonded this philosophical/theological approach to what was the newly forming church . . . this bonding is both accepted and taken for granted from the modern evangelical perspective . . . and to be honest I am STILL not sure how to think about these things . . . it was interesting to read how thought has evolved over time . . . from a period when there was simply a thesis purported . . . a thought discussed and suggested . . . and over time the collective thoughts of civilization discovered an anti-thesis to the previously purported thesis . . . its opposite . . . but the world is no longer that simple . . . the world is no longer . . . balck and white . . . on-off . . . thesis and anti-thesis today we still enjoy thesis and anti-thesis . . . but synthesis complicates our lives . . . it is a combination of those thoughts . . . hybrid thoughts . . . added complexity . . . therefore it is from this 3rd option that I am considering the problems with absolutes . . . the most difficult aspect of this thought is the unknown mental trajectory that this presents . . . regardless . . . God is larger than this issue . . .

christmas day :::

2004-12-25T19:40:00.000-05:00

football, blog surfing, and listening to my evenescence cd newly burned onto my (old) ipod . . .

i have been reading and surfing blogs, napping, and watching football . . . jonathan is playing his new nintendo ds . . . my mother and her husband bill are visiting with us for the weekend . . . its always good to have them visit . . . we have so little time with those we really love because life is so very short . . . and then again it can be very long as well . . .

the advent candles have been burning for a couple of hours . . . we are going to go into the living room in a little while and pray through the daily office together . . .

i saw this cartoon and well . . . i actually thought of myself . . . (much truth is said in jest!)

peace : : :

::: mERRY cHRISTMAS :::

2004-12-23T15:37:00.000-05:00

this is likely the last time i will blog between now and Christmas day . . . my mom just got to the house and jonathan called linda and I at the store to let us know that we need to come home . . . I’ve been working at the store most of the day today . . . it has been busy . . . primarily (and uncharacteristically) predominately men shopping . . . lots of conversation among the 'ladies' that work at the store . . . regarding the motives of these male shoppers . . . perhaps I’ve mis-spoke and I should say the motivation that brought them into our store later in the week rather than earlier in the season . . . it is apparently the consensus of the ladies that these men are simply . . . procrastinators . . . and I quote: 'they have put off what could have been done much earlier . . .' and like all good post-modern issues there is the thesis, it opposite 'anti-thesis' . . . but of course being the radically type i explained . . . that the idea that these men had 'put off' Christmas shopping (negatively speaking was only one view of what was actually taking place . . . the post-modern 'synthesis' or perspective might be that these men merely enjoy giving gifts that are as FRESH as possible . . . not wanting to give their loved ones gifts that are aged in any way . . . or at least that's the way i prefer to think about it . . .

have a wonderful time discussion, eating, communion, and just plain ol' sharing . . . with the people that God has so graciously given you . . . as gifts . . . in and of themselves . . . without the presents . . . without the commercial wrapping paper . . . but gifts nonetheless . . .

and peace : : :

: : : forgive me : : :

2004-12-21T08:49:00.000-05:00

i got up early this morning and read for some time . . . it was good for me . . . i have several books going right now . . . the 'theological recalibration' is fairly significant at this point in my journey . . . i am still pretty fearful of the effects of this change . . . but more fearful of the effects of not morphing . . . the problems associated with Absolute Truth has been very thought provoking . . . i have never considered some of its problems . . . and the different vantage point is insightful but unsettling at the same time . . . i have also been struggling through the issues of the ecumenical imperative . . . which poses a real problem related to authority this in turn creates doctrinal fragmentation which seems intrinic to modern protestantism . . . which fosters relational fragmentation . . . which completely compromises Christ's own prayer for ecclesial unity and oneness . . . clearly john's words later in the nt defining WHAT a follower of Christ is like cements and frames the importance of Christ prayer for unity . . . at a very basic level this is HIGHLY distrubing to me (i know i have blogged these passages before but i can't get rid of the problem they create mentally) . . . i see my own contributions here as highly devisive and not obedient to the ecumintial imparative . . . i am attempting repentance in this . . . Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy . . .

but this is not my only sin that I need to ask forgiveness for . . . my son, jonathan, linda, and i have a christmas tradtion . . . we often visit heinz hall at this time of the year to enjoy the fine work performed by the Pittsburgh symphony . . . it is always so beautifully done . . . anyway this year we had an extra ticket and jonathan invited a female guest to join us . . . jonathan has never had a 'girl friend' and he still doesn’t but he wants to become friends with a girl without it being weird or awkward . . . his boy scouting experience has surrounded him primarily with males . . . and he’s becoming increasing interested with girls . . . and that is a good thing . . . anyway, he invited the daughter of his music teacher . . . she is older than jonathan by about 3 years . . . and she came with us . . . not as a girl friend but as a friend who is simply a girl . . . he likes that she is interested (and talented) in music like he is . . . she is a wonderful person . . . very honest theologically/philosophically . . . she does not delineate friends as ‘saved and unsaved’ . . . she sees beyond the façade of modernism’s response to cultural issues . . . and she appears to genuine have an interest in spiritual things but not that much interest in the church . . . as a family we are extremely disorganized at times, a sort of moving mess . . . assembled chaos (but fun loving) . . . we all liked her too . . . and that’s sort of the problem . . . jonathan has specific relational weaknesses that he is working on . . . weaknesses that are not simply developed and I had in mind that I should “help” him make the environment fun for his guest . . . but unfortunately I got in the way . . . I only know this because loveable linda help me see it ( I am grateful for her insight!) . . . I felt horrible after realizing that I dominated to much . . . last night I went to jonathan and apologized and he sort of minimized the whole thing . . . telling me I ‘freak out over every little thing . . . its no big deal dad really’ . . . but I feel badly . . . my intentions were to be helpful but instead I interfered . . . Lord have mercy . . . I am grateful for a family that is forgiving . . . but specifically for a son who is forgiving . . .

peace : : :

UPDATE: i spoke briefly with jonathan again . . . affirming my apology . . . and realized that my personality is one that 'needs to make everyone comfortable' . . . i often carry the conversation in a social setting to assure everyone is okay . . . i am a 'fixer' by natural bent . . . that has both good and bad qualities associated with it . . . this just happens to be one of the bad . . .

: : : a righteous man considering divorce as an option : : :

2004-12-20T18:15:00.000-05:00

an interesting thought over at postmodern pilgrim . . . joseph is the forgotten father . . . i mentioned to him that for the first time i had seen joseph as a righteous man . . . in a difficult situation as it relates to martial issues and his logical course of action, at least initially was the consideration of divorce . . . that is not intuitive logically given the current thoughts around divorce and abortion in the american christian sub-culture . . . ny point here is that we can see a man who is righteous and devout considering, realistically considering a divorce as an option . . . i had not seen that in quite that way before . . .

beck and eric keck have a great thing going . . . beth has a dynamic voice and eric is exteremely supportive of her talent . . . and to that end eric was kind enough to provide a track off of her cd . . . hopeful if i can either get together with either of them or if i can get a paypal problem resolved maybe i can enjoy the REST of the cd . . . take a listen . . . fresh and organic . .

peace : : :

: : : "If anyone says, “I love God,” : : :

2004-12-15T15:19:00.000-05:00

This past Sunday the employees at the store got together and we all attempted to do something nice for a couple of people in the community . . .

We had a little meeting at the store the prior week to discuss what we could do, how, etc . . . one of the ladies that works at the store has a mother living in a nursing home nearby . . . we all decided that a visit there would be good . . . some singing . . . and ‘snacky, wackys’ . . . visiting . . . maybe a warm blanket –give-away-contest sort of thing . . . by drawing a name out of a hat or something like that a random drawing of some type . . . anyway that was all progressing well until we discovered that someone else had already booked time at the center and we would not be able to visit until the week AFTER Christmas . . .

in parallel to that visitation we were also planning to get some groceries for a couple of families . . . so we had another little meeting and it was suggested that we all just go shopping together on Sunday and take the groceries to the families . . . well nothing is without event . . . there wasn’t an immediate problem but 2 days after the meeting 2 ladies who are covenanters announced that they couldn’t go shopping on Sunday because they are strict Sabbatarians . . . the FULL BLOWN THING: not using musical instruments in the Sunday morning worship services , no work on Sunday . . . they do not cut the grass, or catch up on little chores around the house . . . and for those of you sitting at the front of the class . . . yes! That also means they don’t go shopping for groceries either . . .

This presented a little situation for us . . . as you can imagine retailers are really stressed out at this point in the year . . . they are working long and many additional hours because of the higher volumes of business during the Christmas holiday . . . so time is at a premium . . . we got through it someone volunteered and did the shopping required . . .we took the food to the families in question and a good time was had by all . . . I didn’t say anything to them however I’ve really struggled with this . . . it has been really difficult for me to get beyond this mentally. . .

Here’s the problem: these particular ladies are not ‘theologically inclined’ so that’s not the issue . . . it is the fact that within the modern theological construct as a whole the default position for decision-making is typically about persevering some level of PRECEIVED doctrinal purity . . . that’s what got in the way . . . an attempt by christians to protect abstract doctrine over protecting real people . . . that sucks as a epistemological starting point for ANY religious effort . . .at least that’s the way i am

This is a KEY ISSUE in my mind as the church begins to emerge . . . this type of tension that is created by the protestant church is in my mind as socially offensive as indulgence were once viewed by protestants themselves . . . this is a fundamental difference between the ec and the ic at the most basic level . . . specifically the ic is ‘motivated’ by doctrinal purity and the ec is attempting to be motivated by relational aspects of living out faith . . . ‘people are always more important than things’ . . . for me that includes abstract things like written articles or tenets of faith . . . this insatiable desire for doctrinal purity on behalf of the ic also has other symptoms . . . it has created a matrix of division within the protestant church as a whole . . . the reformers clearly were diverse theologically and amazingly enough ‘bonded’ on what they disagreed with not on a statement of unity . . . as a result this definition, refinement, analysis, protect doctrinal positions, divide and re-establish anew with great doctrinal exactness is a part of the protestant church’s organic DNA . . . the faulty conclusion or end point therefore is that Protestantism under it current circumstances cannot (logically) express a truly ecumenical heart . . . which is in direct contradiction to Jesus own (arguably dying declaration):

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love
one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me."

clearly, these passages imply a complex unity as pictured in the Trinity . . . the ecumenical mandate is not possible under the current 'rules of engagement' within reformed-protestantism . . . some have suggested that given recent growth within the 'southern hemisphere church' another post (reformation) protestant name is required because both the protest is over and the issues surrounding the reformation are not the pressing issues of today's church . . . that's not to mention the 'seal' that john put on this whole thing . . . it solidified it with greater reinforcement making it part of 'a definition' of what it meant to be a follower of Christ, he explains that:

"If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who
does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not
seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his
brother."

: : : peace !!

: : : robert mondovi's contribution to emergent : : :

2004-12-13T11:11:00.000-05:00

i got up on sunday morning at 4:09 am . . . i went to the track and walked/ran alternating back and forth for an hour and a half . . . EXCELLENT work out . . . when i came home we did not 'go to church' yesterday . . . instead we opted to celebrate communion together at home ... around a warm, freshly baked loaf, and a watered down chalice of mondovi . . . IT WAS OUTSTANDING . . . very liturgical . . . we used the liturgical format found in the book of common prayer . . . the feelings of intimacy and closeness were vivid and unanticipated honestly . . . linda likes the ‘let’s stay at home and be church ourselves’ part of the emergent message . . . quite frankly other components concern her . . . and rightfully they should . . . they concern me to . . . I am just more of a risk taker than she is . . . we all discussed how ‘industrial’ feeling processional communion is compared to this setting . . . I have never considered that as deeply as we experienced it this weekend . . . there is typically so much going on and so many distractions in larger gatherings it is sort of a hot bed for distractions . . . and for an ‘adhd’ type that’s not a good thing . . . it is almost as though it is seemingly designed to aggravate—if not generate—attention deficit disorder . . . movement shuffling, talking, books being put into place, guys in the back moving around and getting ready for something else that’s next . . . never mind what's going on NOW . . .

several folks from the store gathered together on sunday to take food to some people around town that was good . . . very good thing . . .

'the well-feed person and the hungry one do not see the
same thing when they look upon a loaf of bread' rumi

this weekend I did a TON of reading . . . hours upon hours which is extremely satisfying but rarely possible . . . I have about 9 really solid books that I am working through . . . I athey are really helping me understand many of the issues related to the postmodernism problem matrix like never before . . . many of the things rumored on blogs, conferences, and articles from places like the ooze only gave me a taste . . . but this more detailed format of ‘deep diving’ has really helped me coming up with clearer explanations of the problems in a language that was articulated in such a way that it has become much clearer for me . . . part of that reading included the concluding chapters on brian’s book the story that we find ourselves in . . . kerry died this weekend, that was very sad . . . and I made the decision to close the book temporarily and pick up he concluding chapters over the christmas holiday since that is the book’s setting as it concludes . . .

::: peace

::: here i go AGAIN :::

2004-12-10T13:20:00.000-05:00

i am sort of afraid to blog my real thoughts today . . . i am afraid of being misunderstood . . . that somehow my comments will sound self serving or arrogant in some way . . .

for the first time, perhaps ever i feel as though i am obeying God (directional and incidentally) at a level i have not been previously willing to do . . . it is not as though i've been asked to do something tremendously difficult its more about the proper alignment of multiple facets of following . . . i am losing weight consistently, i am exercising consistently, i am praying/reading with my family consistently, i have felt 'prompted' to walk away from bible reading and focus more on poetry, art, music, and prayer and silent reflections . . . the candle of presence has become more representative of my relationship with God than the logical constructs of the past . . . i'm fairly deep into the anticipated 'adjustment' that sort of retrofitting requires . . . and its working into aspects of my spiritual life i had not anticipated . . . the conversations with brian have helped more than I can express . . .my wife and my son seem to be at peace with themselves and with our family life . . . these are all good things . . . blessings that i am grateful for . . .

I have been going through a lot of emotional unrest at work and after ‘mind-mapping’ the issues of work-ministry-money-health care-college . . . I am sort of looking at myself and recognizing my love of the struggle . . . it helps me feel alive . . . it lets me know I am alive . . it sort of like a chemically induced helper. . .several friends are experiences gigantic swings in household revenue, the stress associated with change that sort of thing and for several years I have maintained a ‘cruising altitude’ professionally and my own inherent fear of being idle or ‘at ease’ is negatively effecting my view of the real status and the real direction God wants for my family and me . . . these are probably just riddles to readers . . . I don’t care that was my chance to really pray (confess) . . . with a deeper level of honesty . . .

i am typically viewed as having an intense personality . . . the obsessive-compulsive nature of my personality lends its self (naturally) toward wild swings of various kinds of extremes . . . that seems tempered right now . . . i have sort of always wanted to live as plato described . . . with one foot in life and another foot in the grave . . . that sort of gets me into trouble from time to time . . . somehow i manage to offend people with that . . . it sort of brings out a morbid side of my personality i guess , , , so with that said . . . the words below have been important to me recently . . . the music has again been 'speaking to me' like when i was a kid . . . full of meaning and still fuller localized interpretation that helped in this journey . . .

Here I go Again . . . (Casting Crowns)

Father, hear my prayer
I need the perfect words
Words that he will hear
And know they're straight from You
I don't know what to say
I only know it hurts
To see my only friend slowly fade away

Chorus:
So maybe this time I'll speak the words of life
With Your fire in my eyes
But that old familiar fear is tearin' at my words
What am I so afraid of?
'Cause here I go againTalkin' 'bout the rain
And mullin' over things that won't live past today
And as I dance around the truthTime is not his friend
This might be my last chance to tell him that You love Him
But here I go again
Here I go again
Lord, You love him so
You gave Your only Son
If he will just believe
He will never die
But how then will he know
What he has never heard?
Lord he has never seen mirrored in my life

Chorus:
But here I go again
Here I go, here I go

Chorus:
This might be my last chance To tell him that You love him
This might be my last chance To tell him that You love him
You love him, You love him
What am I so afraid
What am I so afraid
What am I so afraid of?
How then will he know
What he has never heard?

may the peace of Christ be with you ::::

::: would you like mcfries with that eucharistic meal? :::

2004-12-09T10:17:00.000-05:00

no disrecept intented with that title . . . its just that companies like mcdonald's, coca cola, at&t, etc . . . have done a remarkable job at 'corporate branding' . . . or corporate identity . . . when i think mcdonald's i think wonderfully thin, salty french fries . . .

i suspect that as most boys grow up more dislike there own hand writing than admire their own hand writing . . . given the physically advantages that women/girls have with musle development in those formative years it is little wonder that their hand writing is is less childish at adolescence than their male counter parts thus the feelings of inadequacy . . . obviously some of those feelings are legitimate given those early muscular advantages . . . I sort of feel the same way about my own version of personalized version of how I write my life . . . how I live out my faith . . . how I personalize my (Christianity) Christ-like-ness (or its lack) . . . christian branding if you will . . . what is it? . . . what is the signature of my life? What is my ‘christ-like’ distinction? (Ouch!) Does that facet even exist? What about in the collective church? What makes her different? . . . most importantly what is my signature as a follower? . . .

Just for the record: I hate this line of questioning . . . I got up early again this morning and these are the types of issues that I am wadding through . . . I read this and it pricked me when I personalized it:

“When we reflect on the history of the Church, are we not bound to confess that she has failed to follow the example of her founder? All to often she has worn the robes of the ruler, not the apron of the servant. Even in our own day it can hardly be said that the ‘brand-image’ of the Church is of a society united in love for Jesus, and devoted to selfless service of others.” Michael Green, Called to Serve

what does the ‘hand writing’ of my (spiritual) life look like . . . in more contemporary business terms what is our/my branding . . . what am I known for (being an asshole or an asset relationally) . . . service? (requiring maintenance or providing reassurances to those God has given me?) . . . helps? (does my spirit help or hinder others?) . . . openness? (to what degree have I turned others away from Him? Or am I approachable?) . . . dare i say it . . . do I REALLY love? . . .

the short answer is . . . NO . . .

sadly, that is not my branding/signature or what I am known for . . . what make me really focus on this is my older brother . . . he is not a ‘professing’ believer and due to some recent events I’m not sure ‘where he is’ . . . over the years however I have watched his interests increase from disdain to what appears as mere observations at a distance . . . but his personality and his feelings are is so guarded that he has not been willing to engage in any level of meaningful conversation regarding his feelings or thoughts about Christ . . . he does regularly however point out his misgivings about the organized church . . . and his personal struggles and indirectly implies some regret with his parenting style of his now adult children . . .

somewhat recently his father-in-law died and his death was somehow a testimony to a level of assurance that many believers posses . . . according to my brother this man summonsed all 14 of his children who congregated around his bed side with their husbands, wives and children . . . 67 in all !! . . .he lovingly spoke to each of them for hours . . . and then lastly he addressed his loving wife of 55 years . . . and he then simply surrendered his life here in exchange for his life with Christ . . . on the other side . . . my brother saw the ‘branding’ of this unrehearse-able reality and responded with amazement . . . it was genuine, and not fake-able . . . my brother mused in a rare moment of vulnerability . . . “how could he be so sure where he was going . . .”

these kinds of thoughts scare me . . . I am not sure what my branding is or perhaps even worse I’m fearful that I know and I don’t like the branding . . . I feel like I’m knowledgeable about spiritual things, spiritual people, and even spiritual pursuits . . . but I don’t FEEL very spiritual . . . it’s not my branding . . . that’s for sure . . .

"If Jesus was half the revolutionary you claim, how come he is now represented by one of the most conservative, status-quo institutions on the planet?" Steve Chalke , The Lost Message of Jesus

:::peace

::: clay aiken's is a homosexual :::

2004-12-08T13:45:00.000-05:00

'clay akins is a homosexual' WHAT? . . . WHAT DID YOU SAY? :::: I knew that I had misunderstood . . . that's what started it all . . .

linda and i were working at the store today and an employee was up front telling several other employees that 'our store shouldn't be ‘supporting’ someone like clay akins . . . because clay aiken's is a homosexual . . .

'i immediately went up front . . . like a surfer hoping to catch the next big wave of this conversation . . . as i walked up into the conversation i asked . . . 'so help me ‘get it’ what difference would it make if clay is a homosexual, i’m not convinced that he is but so what if he is?' everyone looked at me like i myself was coming out of the closet . . . (customers were listening now as our conversation began to ‘bleeding over’ so that others in the store could hear honestly I had not considered that but found myself being faced with the issue that my own personal feelings about this issue were about to become more public, so I guess I was sort of ‘coming out’ myself to some degree) . . . i pushed through the disbelief on their faces . . . and asked the question again . . . ‘I don’t get it, what difference would it make if he is a homosexual?’ . . . that's when the difficulties began . . .

'well we're a christian bookstore (she said that not me! we are merely a bookstore and several christians happen to work there!) . . . she continued: ‘we shouldn’t support THAT kind of thing' . . . with a question mark on my face I asked: ‘support homosexuality? wait I get really confused easily . . . i thought that we were talking about selling cd’s . . . support homosexuality by selling cd's?? . . .

i don't get it . . . how is it that we could support homosexuality by selling a guys cd's??' . . . ‘as a christian bookstore we need to STAND FOR CERTAIN THINGS . . . REALLY? I asked (wondering how well I would be able to control the turbocharger in my head that was quickly cycling up . . . and what is it that we would be standing for by not selling his cd’s . . . (slightly I pressed the point) . . . its about what we will ENDORSE and what we WON’T ENDORSE . . . (i think to himself holy crap this is becoming a full fledged conversation about God right here is river city!!) . . .

okay so you feel that if we sell his cd that’s an endorsement?? . . . (with a finger pointed at me . . . now in assurance . . . let me tell you this if ‘provident, finds out he’s a homosexual they won’t even carry his cd’s any more’ . . . so let me get this straight . . . if they’re morons does that mean we need to be morons (thinking of my mother’s answer to me when I was a teenager something about a bridge and jumping off) . . .

like I said . . . what difference would it make if he is homosexual?. . . no answer . . . ‘look’ (I said it with as much understanding I could put into a voice infliction) . . . ‘did you ever see the movie fried green tomatoes??’ ‘remember in the movie that guy who keep buy the woman’s chairs?’ What . . . you know in the movie where the guy really liked that woman who owned the little shop and she made chairs . . . he keep going to her shop and buying the chairs she had hand made and sold in the shop . . . my point is they lived in this sleepy little burg and he bought EVERY chair . . . at some point in the movie the woman discovers that he had them all stored at his house, hundreds of them, and he says a line something like this . . . it really doesn’t matter to me what you made I’d buy anything you were selling . . . I love you. . . (and they lived happily ever after – chick flick can you tell)

that’s my attitude toward homosexuals OR ANYONE ELSE for that matter . . . it is really one of the worse lies every told to church seating people . . . ‘we’re on the bus and (here’s the used car salesman’s sch-peel . . .) you could be too all you need to do is ____________’ . . . and then the groups that talk more saved-by-grace-alone talk more about ‘to-do’s’ than anyone else within the boundary’s of christiandom . . . (stuff that people NEED to do ‘if’ they are christians) . . .

okay . . . in my little opinion that’s where the really deep dung starts . . . and the proverbial hip-waders come in handy . . . who do WE think that we are tell anyone anything about who’s on the bus and who’s not . . . I remember reading somewhere that we are not to say . . . “who shall ascend and who shall descend” . . . God is a mystery and the truth is . . . the most that we ‘know’ about God is that we really don’t know much about God . . . let alone are assumptions about seating assignment on the ‘heavenly bus’ . . . just because someone’s sin . . .

(and I’m not sure what to say about that I don’t want to blow any other gaskets here but while the early church appears from their writtings to indicate that they were 'diligent regarding matters of sexuality' . . . however, it is not logically possible to logically attack exclusive (long term) homosexual relationships outside of an appeal to a moral authority, and given the church's propensity to MISINTREPRET scripture in the past we might just be better off speaking about the damage created in intense short term relationships over time, but that would be difficult since our divorce rate mirrors that of those 'outside' of the church but i digress) . . .

just because someone’s sin is more ‘visible’ than someone else’s is that a reason to financially punish him by not being will to sell his cd? Does that mean that amy grant doesn’t have sin? . . . what about the sandi patti who openly admitted to a heterosexual extra martial affair or maybe even the jars of clay? . . . Here’s the gig for me at least . . . I agree with the guy in fried green tomatoes . . . . I believe that the best way to communicate love is to accept people regardless . . . JUST love them . . . simply . . . NO BUT’s . . . it doesn’t matter what their lifestyle choices are . . . if there is a problem with that . . . that problem exists within us . . . there are far more verses within context that mandate us to love one another. . . without strings . . . without BUT’s . . . like nike’ commercial . . . just do it . . . love our neighbors as ourselves . . . and God Himself knows we all have plenty of sin . . . at least I do . . .

peace :::

::: BIGGER emergent events :::

2004-12-07T04:02:00.000-05:00

my heart just got flooded ... by the latest post by bill bean at his new site I might add . . . (if you don’t read bill regularly you should he is blog worthy!) the conversation is around the nature of the latest ways the emergent movement is expressing itself . . . increasingly larger venues and more frequently . . . and sadly more involvement by publishers and authors not just folks gathering . . . the combination of the original post and the follow ups so deeply 'pinged' my heart that I needed to develop my thoughts here because of the inevitable length ...

for me it seems that much of this increasing publicity around big emergent events is around our motivations for fame and money ... all to often my feelings were sort of secretly held that in the modern church BIGGER all to often just equates to spiritual pride . . . to accompany that my feelings were often that the ‘sense of urgency’ often communicated by ‘professional clergy’ around evangelism initiatives were merely covert attempts at monument building for those individuals personally and their reputations within the larger organizations they represent . . . in business we un-apologetically call that climbing the corporate latter and market share . . . and in this increasing scenario of larger and more frequent emergent conferences i don’t honestly see a lot of dissimilar features . . . sadly.

I am concerned that it is at the most rudimentary levels . . . this movement is being unnecessarily influenced by book publishers, distributors and media types . . . big events are more profitable for them and not necessarily what best for the ‘body of Christ’ . . . my feeling is that this is to far removed from the heart and beginnings of this whole ‘following Jesus thing’ . . . we (or more specifically, i) need to be often reminded that this all started as a simple conversation among a few friends and a few relatives around a lake ... its focus was not on theology (as much as I love that), it was not a focus on structure, accounting algorithms, premises or conclusions . . . nor do I believe it intended to be a focus on tax status and vast wealth and organized property accumulation . . .

amazingly I can’t also help but notice that many of the ‘original bloggers’ that have appreciated significant exposure with these publishers have oddly enough become increasing more conspicuous in their noticeable blogging absence . . . many only periodically blog now if at all . . . some have published their blogs and unfortunately are now busy feeding these ‘nationally recognized’ big events . . . to me that is sad

that honestly confuses me . . . that creates in my mind the same kinds of complications that buildings and parking lots do for the institutional church . . . and the trajectory that this is creating is dangerous in my opinion . . . much of this ‘big event’ approach is not being propelled by the grass roots emergent members themselves . . . but instead by the publishers . . . the media producers … the folks that see the emerging church as the ‘next big thing’ . . . and that next big thing has the potential to become a revenue source … a new target market or demographic . . . they're just trying to re-package the same old version of protestantism … but only cooler, and perhaps pierced or with a tatoo. bid deal.

peace :::

::: i have a dream :::

2004-12-06T08:53:00.000-05:00

well martin luther king jr i'm not . . . as a matter of fact i'm not even close but that was the best title i could come up with on the spot . . .

as you may know from my last post things at work are tremendously stressful . . . the good news is you were ‘retained’ for employment purposes . . . GREAT you keep your job . . . the bad news is however you are also keeping three other people’s jobs . . . that's the most recent theme at work . . . so a lot has been in my head rumbling around . . . okay so I was asleep last night and I had this dream and I would like the meaning . . . perhaps someone can ‘discern it’ . . . i'm sure a different perspective would be helpful . . . in the dream i'm:

I’m sitting on this park bench type of thing and there is this person right next to me (this man is sitting to my left) and we are happy . . . talking . . . enjoying each other . . . engaging conversation . . . I think in the back of my head it was Jesus but I can’t be sure (that sounds familiar, so it must have been him, I’m just figuring that out as I type!) . . . anyway . . . very conversational . . . we were just talking . . . and all of a sudden i notice there are a lot of people walking in two directions on what appeared to be a sidewalk next to the bench we were sitting on . . . concrete at our feet extends to the walkway and people walking on a sidewalk deal next to us . . . we were out of the ‘traffic’ sitting on the bench . . . at the side . . . watching everyone walk by . . . suddenly I am asked what I think of this guy who is walking and facing us in the ‘traffic’ next to us . . . (I’m sort of slow at times . . . it was like I was sort of spacing out . . . huh . . . who . . . I saw his facing and it was obvious that he was looking at me and that he knew he was being pointed out) . . . I only caught his eye . . . a glimpse at best then he was gone out of the peripheral my vision and I mentally went back to whatever interesting thing the person next to me had opened up in our conversation . . . as suddenly as I returned to those momentary thought . . . this guys is behind us . . . were still on the bench and I’m sort of oblivious in thought and the guy that was pointed out to me was directly over my left shoulder . . . bent over sort of . . . his head is now between the head of me and the person who was sitting next to me on the bench . . . inserted like . . . the atmosphere at the bench quickly became cold and somehow disgusting . . . I sort of turned around and at the same time getting up spit at him . . . I then awoke turning my head and feeling the moister on my pillow from the fresh spit . . . he was disgusting . . . like a pervert (but not sexual) . . . it was weird . . .

any help?

peace :::

::: a change in the weather :::

2004-12-03T10:19:00.000-05:00

it has been almost a week since i blogged . . . that is because i am in many ways standing at the rim of yet another professional crater . . . without boring you with all of the gory details . . . I manage a an account where technical services are rendered . . . I have 2 customers . . . one existing another I can only hope for . . . the existing customer has an extremely technical environment and to quote one of my support guys . . . "David, many weary eyes are looking at this customer's issues, and unfortunately the our support organization, our testing labs, and the Project Installation Coordinators do not have resource availability proportional to the requirements of this project." . . . therefore a crater of epic proportions has been created . . . my scope of influence is now extremely limited . . . I am looking at these events as a closing of a professional door at my current job and perhaps the opening of another at the bookstore linda and I just bought in june of this year . . . attached below are my thoughts/game plan related to the most recent change in the weather . . .

Trajectory Setting. . . is the ‘cringe factor’ being felt? While I am having feelings that something is wrong I need to ‘actively listen’ and be in attendance in the now . . . listening . . . if the cringe factor occurs its usually because something is wrong . . . listen to your gut . . .

“Being fully present in the now is perhaps the premier skill of the spiritual life” Brennan Manning

obeying my heart . . . cleansing my mind . . . protecting my soul . . .

"It takes one who has gone deep in his or her own heart to know how to draw out that which is deep within the heart of another."

Observation: God has orchestrated the purchase of Logos, as well as the evolving and the subsequent deterioration of my business opportunities . . .

Forming >>>>> Storming >>>>> Norming

Large Account Management >>>> God’s Will >>>> Small Business Initivtives

Change: Individuals naturally re-act to the objects of change and generally speaking those reactions are negative . . . an everyday example of this reaction is the pavlothian response that many motorist experience when they approach a highway that orage barrels

I must not ignore my
~ Hearts – emotional impact of events occurring around me
~ Minds – rational engagement of what is occurring around me
~ Souls – the maintenance of establishing fruitful practices, creating a lifestyle beyond mere habits that positively entrench behaviors against encroaching character assaults . . .
Do not hang on to Bad stuff for long.
~ Sometime i need to release things more quickly.
~ At other times our release must be process rich . . . perhaps even process rigorous.
It is important to consider tactically the implications of any given action
~ I should be viewing each event as a single (scene) act in much larger total movement of a much larger performance (Movie) . . .
~ Each action is a decision that will ultimately mean the downsizing or some other priority, therefore proper alignment of priorities is very important
The locus of control is critical. Proactive considerations must be taken into account regarding
~ How can I improve this situation/transition?
~ Reflection – Is control/influence pressures of change occurring from with/in/out?
~ What do I need to do (preparations) now?
~ Where do I need to get to? I want to be where?
~ What skill developments could assist in transition?
~ What fears need to be addressed? Is emotional/behavioral compensation required?
~ Who should I be meeting with?
~ How should my talents/strengths be invested Short/Mid/Long term?
What are the ‘best practices’ or prescribed steps to the next logical point?
~ Bite by bite you eat an elephant . . .
~ Be sensitive, periodically ‘wanting it all’ can often inhibit attaining 'any' . . .
~ Restructure/Reorganization may include finances, what other forms of reorg could be required or advantageous?
~ Incremental progress is critically important to long term progressive change
~ Consider the fundamental differences between Change and Transformation
~ Despise not the days of small beginnings . . .Proverbs?
According to McLaren much change in its first stages is frequently defined by what is not or what we are against rather than formed concepts of what is . . . definition by antithesis.
~ Rom 12:9
~ I need to make sure that I am moving against problems and not people . . .
~ I need to create naturally occurring ‘immunity’ – healthy situations, advisers, reading materials . . . avoiding naturally infectious environments, toxins, and high risk situations
‘Doing the right thing’ – A lot of ‘injustice’ is likely to be my perception . . . right or wrong . . . I must maintain character through the issues . . . doing the right thing . . . regardless of what is done by others . . . proactively acting as opposed to reactive responses . . .
~ Avoiding ‘eye for an eye’ thinking . . . giving back better than I have received needs to be my focus . . .

‘Christian ideals have been tried and found wanting, instead they have been found difficult and left untried . . .’ GK Chesteron
Given my conversation with Rick and the reaction/misunderstanding with my message to the scouts I must be very introspective and disciplined around the dangers and natural propensities toward arrogance . . . and as Teresa of Avila maintains Humbleness is one of the most fundamental of all Christian virtues . . .
~ I must make every effort to authentically be who I say that I am . . . the outside must reflect the inside . . .
~ To often my pride is concerned with WHO (attitude) is right instead of WHAT (behavior) is right . . .
~ Focus should be maintained on identifying with others and their situations, rather than focusing me . . . people are more important than things . . .
Many of these circumstances are creating fearful situations . . . I need to maintain the integrity of the decision making process . . . decisions must not be made out of a fear of other people’s reactions . . .
~ My perception of right decisions and the implications of those decisions often solicit reactions in other people . . . however, my decision and their reaction are two very different issues . . .
~ There is a direct correlation between people around me who are ‘out of control’ and their unique hatred for the word ‘no’ . . .
Course setting trajectory –
~ Keep solid advisors around me . . . Ecc 4: 9-12
~ Get Wisdom and act rather than re-acting . . . Prov 4:7
~ Maintain a consistent and as reliable as possible ‘feedback loop’ . . . 360 degree Feedback . . .
~ Consider other models around me that are working . . .
~ Maintain a careful accounting of my own cyclical behaviors and personality patterns
~ Gently address impediments rather than operating at dysfunctional levels or enabling others . . . ‘peaceful co-existence’ at misproportionally high costs can potentially create longer term complexity and damage . . .
~ Add accountability and structure . . . but make room for creativity and margins . . .
~ Don’t overly depend on the maps of the past that have created success . . . new territory demand new maps, and new models . . .
~ Chinese Proverb – ‘within your strength lies your weakness, and within your weakness lies your strength’
~ Mind Map these ‘guide rails’
~ Prayer . . . liturgy . . . loved ones . . .

peace : : :

::: hark, the hearld angels sing!! :::

2004-11-29T11:48:00.000-05:00

since my last blog we went to see the incredibles and christmas with the kranks . . . both 'fun' movies . . . and worth seeing . . .

the ox has a brother that is traveling in asia . . . here is his blog of interesting tales . . . warning: viewer ratings may change depending on the geographic necessities and the culture encountered . . . (that's probably the most post-protesant thought i've had in a while!) . . . :)

my family’s worship experience this weekend was incredible . . . we have been frequenting a group of people that gather in a neighboring village . . . the sign on the front of the building where we met reads trinity episcopal church it is in beaver pa . . . theologically it seems most of the folks I listened to who were speaking were conservatives . . . tending towards something of an academic nature . . . but much more important they were REAL . . . individuals that had gathered as a small tribe who were struggling to reflect on the meaning of advent . . . in my mind this little group of people and the liturgy that we participated in help me specifically and my little family to ‘re-calibrate’ what the meaning of this season was originally . . . and fortunately for us the church operated just as it was intented to . . . providing us with some directional correction!!!

I awoke early again this morning and read some more of mclaren’s thoughts . . . EXCELLENT stuff . . . I have really enjoyed reading him . . . oddly enough at the ‘lighting of the candle’ this morning’s advent reading that linda, jonathan and I are reading it matched mclaren’s focus on genesis chp 12 . . . when that sort of thing occurs I sort of sit up and take notice for fear that God is attempting to speak to my dullness in hearing . . . in essence what I heard was that God had created us to bless us NOT so that we could simply contain the blessing and be an image to be modeled within our communities . . . the scriptural justification attempted with this approach is saint paul’s words . . . follow me as I follow Christ . . . rather what i am learning from this mornings events is that God blessed . . . adam & eve . . . noah and his family . . . abram and his descendants . . . us . . . TO BE INSTRUMENTS OF BLESSINGS TO THE OTHERS AROUND US NOT CONTAINERS OF BLESSINGS TO BE SIMPLY MODELED OR OBSERVED FROM A DISTANCE . . . i’m sure that sounds like an old message repackaged to many who may hear it but for me it was (again) a helpful correction and ‘re-calibration’ of our family’s spiritually trajectory . . . and much needed . . .

The Call of Abram
The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you. "I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you." So Abram left, as the LORD had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Haran. He took his wife Sarai, his nephew Lot, all the possessions they had accumulated and the people they had acquired in Haran, and they set out for the land of Canaan, and they arrived there. Abram traveled through the land as far as the site of the great tree of Moreh at Shechem. At that time the Canaanites were in the land. The LORD appeared to Abram and said, "To your offspring I will give this land." So he built an altar there to the LORD , who had appeared to him. From there he went on toward the hills east of Bethel and pitched his tent, with Bethel on the west and Ai on the east. There he built an altar to the LORD and called on the name of the LORD . Then Abram set out and continued toward the Negev.

during reflection this morning and after reading and discussing the passage above i asked linda and jonathan to put down on a piece of paper (sometime soon) and to ask the store employees to put down on a piece of paper an idea of how we can fulfill this concept of being a blessing to others rather than being ‘containers’ of these blessings . . . stay tuned!! like the advent candle this morning represented our anticipation . . . i feel sort of like I have the full blown disease of anticipation . . . and that’s a great thing!!!

any ideas from the larger community, how are you going to express the blessing that God has made you during this season of emphasis???

peacefully loving the mystery :::

::: the memory of a lifetime :::

2004-11-23T08:58:00.000-05:00

what an unbelievable weekend . . . this was a memory maker for both jonathan and me . . . I took jonathan deer hunting for the first time in his life . . . what a blast . . . my brother lives in west virginia and has a great farm there . . . very little hunting pressure from ‘outsiders’ and tons of deer roam his land grazing all year long . . .

we saw tons of deer . . . mostly does . . . except for mr. big at 7:30 . . . jonathan and i are alone in this doe enters the field . . . I tell jonathan that it is likely that she is in heat and that it is probable that a buck will quickly follow her . . . right after I said that a buck prances into the field after her coming in from behind us . . . now both are in the field and the buck is looking for the doe . . . I tell jonathan to shot the buck . . . he cracks off a shot and misses . . . I follow up with an immediate shot and the buck drops . . . after a few seconds jonathan shoots another shot and hits the buck . . . his small caliber .243 lacks the shock power to kill the buck and with a surge of adrenalin the buck gets up and run toward us . . . only to fall again . . . I tell jonathan to finish him off aiming at the neck he shoots and misses AGAIN!! . . . the crack of his rifle scares the buck off and he run across the property line into the path of the neighboring farmer . . . you guessed it . . . one last shot and the SEVEN POINT buck drops on his land . . . can you spell potential conflict . . . jonathan and I walk over to the carcass and the farmer had put his knife and seat cushion on the deer and went to his house to get his 4 wheeler . . . I explain to jonathan the ‘rules of engagement’ as they relate to deer hunting . . . specifically the last shot owns the deer . . . and its on another man property . . . WE don’t’ have an arguable position . . . you need to understand that for a 13 year old who shot a buck for the first time NONE of this makes sense . . . IT’S MY DEER . . . he chants repeatedly . . . but IT’S MY DEER . . . I SHOT IT . . . he insists . . . I walk him back to the hayshed and after about 2 hours he finally realizes his objections are fruitless. . . I WAS ROBBED . . . THAT’S NOT FAIR . . . you get it . . . anyway . . . I know that all odds are in our favor . . . we are in a GREAT place . . . we know the travel patterns of the deer . . . he are not in the rain . . . the warmth of the hay put us to sleep several times this is a great situation . . . I tell jonathan to relax and evening is quickly coming . . . after all of the shooting jonathan, my brother, his son craig, and me . . . we stood in this hayshed most of the afternoon together . . . giggling, eating each others lunch, and laughing 'quietly' together . . . it was a blast . . . we kept making up these budwiser commericals about a couple of 'idiots in a hayshed' . . . i laughed so hard i'm sore today . . . the deer could talk and they couldn't get over the 'guys in orange over in the hay shed' . . .

fast forward a few hours . . . its now about 3 PM and we hear this sound coming up the other side of the hill . . . it’s the farmer from this morning . . . NO GUN just the 4 wheeler and a set of field glasses . . . he parks right in our line of fire . . . and with a 13 yr old at the trigger I was feeling pretty aggravated at this point . . . this guy (according to jonathan) has already stolen ‘our’ small trophy . . . already beaten us to the punch . . . and now he is decided to make a parking lot for atv’s right in front of jonathan’s rifle . . . can you tell I’m a little chafed at this point??? . . . we discuss the situation with my nephew craig who is 24 yrs old . . . collectively we decide to move to the ‘big meadow’ for more ‘privacy’ . . . we take the walk when we should have been scaling into the prime time preparedness . . . we get to the shed in the big meadow and my brother is already there . . . jonathan wants to stay with his uncle . . . craig and I decide to go our separate ways . . . he’s going to the ‘junk meadow’ (old cars and trucks are parked there) . . . and I’m going to the ‘big noll’ (where I can see EVERYTHING my brother owns all 100 acres) . . . as I am scoping 5 does in this little patch of woods it 4:30 PM . . . slight drizzle . . . foggy just enough to create a mood . . . all is quiet . . . the crows and hawks have all but carried the remaining guts of the SEVEN point we missed and the farmer shot . . . there was a stillness in the air that I don’t remember experiencing ever . . . it was quiet ‘on the hill’ . . . there was a peacefulness that was so still it SCREAMED God’s presence . . . I continued scoping/glassing the deer below me . . . there were about 5 . . . the drizzle was picking up its pace . . . and the quiet was interrupted with the distinctive crack of Jonathan’s small caliber .243 . . . I knew the direction that the shot had come from . . . the shed in the big meadow . . . the deer that I had been watching just looked up momentarily . . . and went back to eating . . . I looked toward the big meadow several times but I could see nothing . . . I went back to the seer below me grazing . . . all became still again . . . I thought to myself . . . no second shot?? Perhaps that’s good . . . perhaps that bad . . . suddenly the deer I had been watching for over an hour ran . . . and I could make out the distinctive clothing that my brother and jonathan each were wearing . . . I looked at jonathan closely with my binoculars and he wasn’t carrying his/my .243 . . . that means goods news . . . . I begin my descent down the hill to meet them at the path below . . . as my brother and Jonathan approach I announce: ‘how far away was it?’ . . . jonathan says how did you know? . . . how far away was it I insist . . . 35 yards he says proudly . . . it was a spike with one tine broken off . . . jonathan had shot and killed his ‘first’ deer . . . (not to mention the nice seven point from this morning that carried his bullet across the property line to the awaiting farmer) . . . this spike had made up for all of that . . . one shot and jonathan dropped it . . . it was a memory that will continue for a lifetime . . . jonathan will never forget these events . . . and neither will I . . . or my brother . . .

grateful for the peace provided by family unity :::

::: she died and left him with 3 kids :::

2004-11-19T13:04:00.000-05:00

this is an attempt at portraying what 'evangelism' looks like in my little corner of the world . . . these kinds of things are very airy . . . at best . . . in this context but take a look . . . ( i hope that it makes sense . . .)

this may be a little more off color than some of you prefer . . . but my world is actually very 'R-rated' . . . it is not sterile in any way . . . this guy at work lost his wife about a year ago from cancer . . . she died and left him with 3 kids all under the age of 12 . . . to say the least he is a little 'rough around the edges' . . . we typically talk a lot about missional living and the like and when this happened I immediately wanted to bloc about it because it typifies that concept and it illustrates 'forward movement' on this guy's part . . . let me explain like this . . . this guy (i'll call him 'mark') he is not the most communicative guy in the world but obviously hurting from the loss of his wife, raising the kids alone, drinking a lot, you get the idea . . . i have been 'dripping' on him for a long time and he knows where i am coming from . . . anyway he best form of communication is his idea of humor . . . consequently over the last few months he sends me these pictures every now and then and a blurb . . . examples:

. . . 'mark' tells me that this is his latest girl friend . . . we call her 'bubbles the baby sitter' (BTW yes this is real ... i was freaked out too she is 7' 6" tall 330lbs!) . . . then he sends me this one . . . says he got a chance to meet some of my relatives in west virginia over the weekend . . . they said to say 'hi!' . . .

. . . he knows i'm taking jonathan hunting this weekend and wants to know if this is me on my way to WV?? he says he loves the 4 wheeler!! . . .

. . . while in WV he wants me to say hi to my 'uncle billy-bob' (obviously 'uncle billy-bob' is a big fan!) . . .

. . . here's the good part . . . he knew the last few weeks were really bad at work (really bad as in corporate presidential complaint bad) . . . he knows i've had it . . . he knows that i have taken numerous hits that i shouldn't have . . . (some of them were for him) . . . in the mist of all of those dynamics i am watching him 'move' a bit closer to the Christ image i have attempted to portray . . . he is/has responded to kindness and gentleness . . . because of mark's circumstances he has been out increasing out of commission at times . . . drinking (we describe it as being at the dump) . . . (the reality is he is 'self-medicating) . . . even in the mist of the 'stuff' i can't post here . . . the evidence is that 'mark' 'sees it' and is walking toward Christ . . . the evidence is best illustrated by the picture below . . . knowing my work situation . . . he sent me this . . . obviously it speaks for itself . . .

peace : : :

::: bacon, bacon, bacon :::

2004-11-19T08:57:00.000-05:00

last night was the final class at teresa of avila . . . it was good at times but conceptually/practically difficult for me at times too . . . teresa wrote a good deal about the importance of humility . . . that has been painful . . . particualarly becasue of my own lack of personal humility . . . that is discouraging . . . it is one of my several deeply seated/embeded sins . . . over the last year or so my awareness of the methodical nature of living that many christians who have lived before us has been of particular interest to me because i sense that this is the pathway to 'eradication' or spiritual formation into the image of Christ and away from my own image . . . things like the book of common prayer, the liturgy, the divine offices, methodical/repeatable/repetitious practices that cultivate and help to put the soul in a place where Christ like formation of the soul can occur . . . i don’t have anyone to teach me in these areas . . . and I really need the help . . . an old chinese proverb says that ‘when the student is ready, the teacher shows up’ . . . if that is true and i suspect that it is . . . that can only mean that i am not truly ready yet . . .

in the divine conspiracy there was some light but it was dim . . . but light nevertheless . . . willard talks about sins of the soul . . . it helped a little because it was a treatment of the issues but it was only like an outline . . . my perspective in these areas is so rudimentary that it is veery difficult to make progress . . . i feel like i need the 'lab work' . . .

thoughts about my personal eating habits have also been prevalent and connected to this issue of humility because it is another personality 'fundamental' . . . eating habits it seems are in several ways a reflection (mirror) of the soul’s discipline or its lack of disciple . . . all to often i watch myself eat out of emotion . . . meaning that i eat when things become stressful at work or at home . . . perhaps as a source of comfort . . . i eat when things are not going as i might have hoped . . . that is a bad thing . . . i am working on that . . . it is painfully slow movement . . . if any . . . my catholic friends would call this . . . mortification . . . (webster: a sense of humiliation and shame caused by something that wounds one's pride or self-respect) . . . i am really trying to submit to this process . . . i’ve been on the atkins diet for about 2 weeks (it seems like forever!) . . .

an old friend and i have intentionally (mutually) put distance between ourselves . . . distance so that we won’t offend each other . . . i am afraid to go back into our relationship not because he will/can hurt me personally but primarily because i have made significant deposits into his life and i fell like he should/does know better . . . when he is around others that i am attempting to help who are extremely fragile he is ‘dependably’ caustic/harsh . . . his comments are routinely demeaning, and humiliating, his voice inflection implies ‘you’re stupid and i'm not because i've identified this _____' . . . this is very difficult for me . . . for some reason that is unknown to me he has not made it a practice to behave this way with me personally . . . but of late I have experienced a gradualism of sort that appear to be moving in that direction . . . how can I not forgive . . .

Lord have Mercy,
Christ have Mercy,
Lord have Mercy : : :

the peace of Christ be with you :::

::: losing our religion :::

2004-11-18T14:53:00.000-05:00

there is an absolutely delightful conversation over at desertpastor . . . which actually started at nouslife . . . excellent stuff and well worth the read . . .

i posted comments and here they are . . .

this is an excellent post ... and it is a very real topic that effects all of us ... i wanted to make a few comments of my own ...

you said: "IN THE beginning there was the Church. And people liked to dress up in their best clothes and go there on Sundays and they praised the Lord and it was good."

i said: actually ... in the beginning believers were the church they didn't GO to a church

you said: "Study after study appears to prove that people are increasingly losing faith in the Church and the Bible and turning instead to mysticism"

i said: i don't see these as being mutually exclusive in church history or in scripture. chr'n mysticism is far more normative than any saddle/creek/brownsville/toronto theology can ever be ...

you said: "this week that older people should be offered t’ai chi classes on the NHS to promote their physical and mental well being."

i said: why is that be so bad? clearly rev. martin luther king took the theology of ghandi and redeemed for african americans why can't we redeem the 'goodness' within t'ai chi for our physical well being? similarly many great church hymns were redeemed from bar songs ... i don't think i fully understood this point ...

DLE said: "charismatic churches are growing so quickly they can hardly be charted"

i said: i wonder how you define 'growing' dr. bill bright's words still linger 'no organization on the planet is adequately fulfilling the second half of the great commission ~ 'the make disciples' ~ mandate... it seems that ‘by growing wild’ you mean people gather . . . hear a message and respond initially ... i would argue that is not the nt definition of growth . . . (didn’t someone say something about fruit remaining?) the nt appears to be speaking more about ‘spiritual formation’ when it speaks of growth not merely ‘head-count’ . . .

peace :::

::: one of the 7 deadly sins :::

2004-11-17T13:39:00.000-05:00

I have been persuaded in recent years that one of the most difficult things in the world is to accurately see ourselves . . . not just as we see are selves but as other see us . . . from the perspective of others . . . this sort of ability is for me a real personal challenge . . . because the only way that this can ever happen is to be in an environment of communal living . . . that is living in close proximity with others, intentional relationships of trust where people that have mutual investments in each others lives, an environment where inconsistencies and destructive behaviors that we cannot see on our own can be lovingly addressed . . . with that being said one of the personality aspects that i have recently been faced with is my own personal struggle with. . . ANGER . . . without getting to bogged down in the details i have found myself in repeated encounters with various sins listed as one of the seven deadly sins and at this particular season in my journey anger has become a prominent sin . . .

i’m mentioning this because as i am attempting to be more introspective and self analytical about my own sinfulness, discussing it with others around me in an attempt to overcome it . . . as I do that it has become apparent that I am not the only one suffering from this sinful tendency . . . generally as a world we are very angry . . . over the last few months the headlines have been filled with stories of conflict and anger . . . behind those headlines are real human beings experiencing the pains associated with these conflicts . . . from the relationship battles over the rights of same sex unions, to road rage on american highways . . . and of course the more blatant “organized anger” . . . which we call war . . .

the recent conflict escalations in iraq and afghanistan are helping me see myself from a different perspective . . . the military’s offensive shifts in Falluja have re-aggravated an already wearisome situation . . . al jazeera has been repeatedly showing pictures of the marine shooting a wounded Iraqi at point blank range in a mosque deepening the polarities of positions . . . abc news nightline has reported on these perspective differences between the american press, the bbc, and aljazeera . . . all possessing differing perspectives on these events . . .

my point here is that it is very easy to just go with our own perspectives not ‘seeking to understand before seeking to be understood’ . . . it seems so easy to just go with the american perspective on these events . . . making the issues easier than reality allows . . . but everyone involved has legitimate things to say in this war . . . and in my life . . . its not just black and white with no degrees gray . . they suck and we don’t’ . . . they’re wrong (and terrorist) and we’re not (we’re liberators and freedom loving) . . . the reality is much different . . . it is very difficult to see the perspectives of others BUT VERY NECESSARY . . . not to mention how our own perspective just might be off . . .

when these types of conflicts occur we typically look to our religious leaders for a voice of calm within a culture and the positive effects of their religious teaching within the culture at large . . . those things that have helped shape the moral values of that people . . . in the west however the (modern) religious mindset is not supportive of this process or of peace . . . (however, the roman catholic church did speak negatively of the american aggression against iraq and in my eyes that was a good thing) . . . the silence of christians on this issue has been remarkable to me . . . oddly enough, in western culture/religion God himself is viewed as angry . . . at first he seems happy enough with creation at first putting adam and eve in the garden . . . then his anger surfaces because of the forbidden fruit, he curses the serpent to be legless . . . and eve suffers with childbirth and subordination in what became a male dominated world . . . adam suffers from an eventual death and a lot of hard labor just to eat . . . then God becomes anger with cain for killing his brother . . . God at one points even regrets making mankind . . . he decides to kill them all in a flood except for noah, his family, and the animals . . . then God gets angry at humans for making the tower at babel . . . he is ‘nice’ to abraham for a while until sodom and gomorrah ‘blows up’ . . . he destroys them . . . and moses comes along and God is angry with pharaoh and the egypians . . . kills a lot of them including their children to make His point . . . basically God is seen as angry on behalf of israel in one scene and angry with israel in the next . . . what is the point to all of this rambling? in my opinion these things/perspectives say a lot more about us than they do about the ‘enduring essence’ of God . . . it has the appearance of a narrative of ‘HOW’ we incorrectly perceive things from our fallen perspectives . . . how we have the potential of spoiling something as Holy as God with our own corrupted mindsets . . . these accounts are more ‘self revealing’ into the nature of our own hearts toward evil . . . it uncovers the wicked nature of the tenants of truth about God . . . and i am one of those evil tenants of the truth . . . forgive me Father for my part in its corruption . . .

hopeful for peace as we live the mystery :::

::: tired :::

2004-11-15T08:37:00.000-05:00

I am pretty tired today . .. last week was the worst 'fire fight' i have ever had in my entire career at work ... i spent all day yesterday from 8 am unitl 8 pm in the car . . . I drove to denmar correctional facility to pick up sam . . . he was paroled from a 1-15 year sentence . . . it was a long but profitable day . . . this morning he is going to the parole office to check in . . . he needs to go to 90 na meetings in 90 days . . . there were many stipulations to his release . . . we talked about many situations/geographies that could help him at release become more securely established over the last 2 years . . . for now he is going to get his licensee in cosmetology . . . that should take about 6 months then perhaps he will move to cleveland, pittshurgh, or the washington metro area . . .

we discussed at length the possibility of going to teen challenge just outside of cleveland . . . but they would make him surrender his catholicism . . . that made me very sad . . . the phrase ‘my way or the highway’ comes to mind . . .

dwanye had a major train wreck with his wife . . . we met and discussed it . . . I think that thing are temporarily back in order . . . my modern mind set wants to take these kinds of ‘high risk’ people to a safe place . . . instead I am learning that it is all about just being a safe place for them . . . and after that leaving them in God’s mighty hands . . .

i have to finish getting jonathan’s gun sighted in for next Monday’s first day of deer season in wv . . . we are going down to my brother’s on saturady night . . . spend Sunday afternoon with my mom . . . and let jonathan hunt on Monday morning . . . its his first time . . . I have so many thoughts about that . . . I’m thinking of my dad (he died in 1985) not because he was a big hunter but because of the relationship legacy he left modeled for me, I’m thinking about the difficulties my brother has with relationships and how he doesn’t seem to make much effort with jonathan . . . and I’m afraid that will ultimately hurt our relationship in the end . . . and I don’t want that to happen . . .

longing for peace ::::

BURGUNDY CHICKEN WITH RASPBERRY SAUCE

2004-11-11T22:38:00.000-05:00

Marinate skinned/boned chicken breasts:

½ c. cooking oil
¼ c. soy sauce
½ tsp. pepper
1 c. burgundy wine or red cooking wine

Brown the marinated meat in the marinating mixture about 10 minutes on each side (or if sliced into small pieces only a few minutes).

Serve with the Raspberry Sauce:

Bring to a boil:

1 c. raspberry jelly or jam
½ c. water
3 Tsp. brown mustard
2 Tsp. soy sauce
1 Tsp. Worcestershire sauce(if desired: salt, pepper, caraway seeds)

Serve Raspberry Sauce over the Chicken and a bed of Wild Rice

::: the ‘wheat and tares’ of life :::

2004-11-11T14:28:00.000-05:00

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WAR is a hot song that surfaced in the sixties and i still get hyped up every time i hear it . . . the beat of the song is intoxicating to say the least . . .

War however and the struggles of conflict over power and authority are just a few of the touch stone issues facing the emerging church in a postmodern context . . . the social and political not to mention the methodology of these wars in iraq and afghanistan from the american perspective is to say the least offensive . . . for many incredulous . . . and at a minimum illogical . . . the truth is that many people (americans) that call themselves followers of Christ agree with several of the more fundamental issues that the muslims object to . . . they don’t want gratuitous sex, moral indecency, obscenity and profanity within the cultural mainstream . . . after what many described as a raunchy half-time show during the last super bowl telecast . . . protest and interest appear high. followers of both mohamed and Christ might agree that the prevailing western pop culture is not preferred . . . our approaches to remedy many vary greatly but our consensus is somewhat united on that point . . . fragmentation does exist however . . . evangelical pastors as late as this year were encouraging parishioners across the country to see movies like the passion of the Christ with its graphic and some have argued even gratuitous depictions of the violence recorded in the gospels and what we normally refer to as the stations of the cross . . . schindler's list . . . and this week saving private ryan in commemoration of veterans day . . .

whether the authority is in the state or in the church it resides in a fallen state no matter how pious the institution may appear . . . for the record: I am against the war, I think it was a bad idea from the start, and I do not anticipate a change of mind in this regard . . . additionally, I do believe that american foreign policy can often be arrogant in approach, insensitive in its methodology, and the perception of being somewhat imperialistic ultimately is understandable whether from the middle eastern perspective, the chinese communist, and on and on . . .
my point here is that I am more than a little uncomfortable with absolute authority whether that is in the state . . . in the church . . . or with some john q. public husband that demeans and his wife and kids with biblical excuses like ‘submit and shut up’ . . . anyway . . . my 13 year old came in and we talked today about how several aspects of life are ‘r rated’ and that it is not within the scope of our ‘religious duty’ to sanitize or ‘scrub’ life clean of these dirty, and unsavory aspects of life . . . but rather accept the ‘r rated’ aspects of life as ‘wheat and tares’ growing together as just that ‘r rated’ . . . in light of that conversation between jonathan and I about the difficulties and the ugly face of war and authoritarianism (in and out of the church) . . . he is going to watch saving private ryan tonight (see link for programming) . . .

desirous of peace :::

::: political capital :::

2004-11-10T14:50:00.000-05:00

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they say that a picture is worth a thousand words . . . so in the spirit of that proverb here is a glimpse of what has been going on at work . . . HUGE complex issues involving a GREAT customer that I have had for almost 10 years (my only customer BTW!) . . . GREAT relationships, GREAT collaboration partner, GREAT history . . .

but the last week or so have been a real tae kwon do battle . . . and i have expended a ton of political capital with minimal results . . .

longing for emotional space and some . . . peace :::

::: the blue plate special :::

2004-11-09T08:38:00.000-05:00

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one of my favorite movies is platoon . . . not just because it is an action film but it is also filled with interpersonal dynamics . . . strong personalities . . . the struggle between good and evil . . . in an arena of grey . . . the real stuff that life is made of . . . somewhere in the movie when the tension seems abnormally high one of the key characters speaking of the horrors of existence in an enviornment of war says: ‘it’s a big shit sandwich and we all have to take a big bite’ . . . yesterday and today have been me taking a lot more bites of the shit sandwich than I prefer . . . my work life is piling on more and more responsibility and it seems that everyone is looking to me for repeated miracle performances . . . the bottom-line is: i am sick of this . . . an appropriate metaphor for my month is best summed up with this phrase: . . . other than that mrs. Lincoln how did you enjoy the show? . . .

::: tribulation :::

2004-11-08T11:20:00.000-05:00

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it was a GREAT weekend . . . jonathan and i spent tons of time together reloading ammunition for the gun he is going to use during deer season this year (.243) . . . he had a great time . . . and so did i . . . we spent several hours at the shooting range last night getting the scope sighted in . . . the repeated shots of a high powered rifle at the end of our shooting last night hurt his shoulder . . . he cried . . . i felt terrible . . . i held him and comforted him . . . since early this morning the phone has been ringing off the hook . . . things in my business life and at scout have been going off like 'incoming' bombs around me . . . this morning has been VERY STRESSFUL day already and the issues that i am fighting with are beyond the scope of my direct influence for improvement and that sucks!!!

looking for more peace :::

:::$$$, power, and self-control :::

2004-11-04T13:35:00.000-05:00

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its an ordinary day, conference calls, spreadsheets, credit evaluations, earnings calls ...

we read saint peter's words form the nt . . . lectio divina . . . elements found . . . the big 3 . . . power, money, and self-control . . . BEWARE . . . peter's words seem so clear . . . don't be pastoral (serving) out of greed ($$$) but because you want to, its your passion, and don't get so sucked in after you start working in this passion that you then get over whelmed with a love of power . . . then he follows up with a need for self-control theme . . .

i am going out to walk again . . . healthy eating habit is even more difficult than the exercising regularly . . . and consistent exercise is no small task . . . this link was helpful . . . gave me some frame work for beginning . . . articles, discussion, motivation . . .

peace :::

::: unexpected results :::

2004-11-03T13:20:00.000-05:00

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okay i was wrong about kerry winning the election ... but i think that i'm pleased with the outcome ... i didn't really want to vote for bush (and i did) but i didn't want to vote for kerry either ...

now that this election is over i am planning to change my party affiliation . . . perhaps more later!

peace :::

::: DRUDGE REPORT 2004 :::

2004-11-02T13:52:00.000-05:00

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XXXXX DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX TUE NOV 02, 2004 XXXXX

UPDATE: VOTES 'FOUND ON MACHINES' IN PHILLY BEFORE POLLS OPEN

Before voting even began in Philadelphia -- Republican poll watchers believed they found nearly 2000 votes already planted on machines scattered in heavy-minority locations throughout the city.

Republican poll watchers claim:

One incident occurred at the SALVATION ARMY, 2601 N. 11th St., Philadelphia, Pa: Ward 37, division 8.

Pollwatchers uncovered 4 machines with planted votes; one with over 200 and one with nearly 500...

A second location, 1901 W. Girard Ave., Berean Institute, Philadelphia, Pa, had 300+ votes already on 2 machines at start of day.

ANOTHER INCIDENT: 292 votes on machine at start of day; WARD/DIVISION: 7/7: ADDRESS: 122 W. Erie Ave., Roberto Clemente School, Philadelphia, Pa..

ANOTHER: 456 votes on machine at start of day; WARD/DIVISION: 12/3; ADDRESS: 5657 Chew Ave., storefront, Philadelphia, Pa...

The Kerry Campaign says reports of votes already on machines are 'false.'

MORE...

Great!! NOW that i'm sure the process is not corrupted i'm going to go vote!!

UPDATE: (TUE NOV 02, 2004 02:24:35 ET) i did the deed! i walked again today ... (in a downpour no less) ... combined with proper nutrition and proper portions i am attempting to get fit ... oh yeah! ... i voted too ... poll workers indicate foot heavy traffic ...

PREDICTION!!! i have not blogged about the election because of a promise i made to myself, i will now ... president bush will lose the electoral college vote to john kerry ... john kerry will be the next president of the united states ... you heard it here first! :)

::: lessons from nature :::

2004-11-02T11:18:00.002-05:00

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last week i intentionally set some time aside and made myself spend some time in the woods looking for mushrooms, and jonathan brought the 12 gauge in case we (he) saw squirrels ... it was late in the afternoon so no squirrels …

unfortunately no mushrooms yet either … I think that it is to early or to late in the season … not enough rain or cool weather yet?? … jonthan got tired pretty easily … he has been keeping a pretty fast passed schedule this fall … piano, scouting merit badges, working at the store, the catholic boys club, community bible study, school, gym & swim at the ymca, and multiple trips to the rifle range getting ready for deer season …

he didn’t want to go back later in the evening so I went back into the woods by myself … I rode the 4 wheeler fairly deep into the woods and then I would do big circles around the 4 wheeler looking for mushrooms … the mushrooms that I look for are called hen-of-the-woods … they are most commonly found growing at the base of large, older oak trees … I had walked several miles in to the woods, and I came to this ‘hollow’ (it’s a term often used in west (by golly) virginia) … I sat down at the top of the hollow and look down from the top … I have been reading a lot about prayer and specifically what has historically been referred to as ‘quite prayer’ … as I sat in the woods … in the quite … I saw the oaks that I had been looking under for the prized hen-of-the-woods … what I am trying to say is up to this point I had enjoyed myself but I guess that I had finally been in the woods, alone, and "quite" long enough to re-calibrate a bit . . . a re-orientation took place . . . as a result I saw these large oaks differently … with respect … I am now over forty and felt a great affinity, and respect for these oaks that had to be 150 years old or more … they have 'made it' they had weathered the harshness that life can bring, they not only survived but flurished, they grewand grew with grace, they matured with great dignity … from their wounds, it was it was obvious that they had been through a lot over the years … layers of snow, dry years, wet years, and some of them even had signs of the shock of lighting … they were to be respected for what they had become and the character they exude … but perhaps they deserved respect more for what they had been through, but in my mind I keep going back and forth what they had been through was what they had become … I sat there a few more quite moments and left the trees of character standing as I had found them … living life tall, living life in spite of the hardships the befell them, living life well and full of character … mighty oaks ...

sunday afternoon i drove to charleston, i went to a parole hearing for someone that i have blogged about before . . . he has been serving a 1-15 sentence and has 2 years ubder his belt ... he has been in prison without a behavior 'write-up' which is REMARKABLE ... he has demonstrated his own significant degree of character over these last 2 years ... he got paroled ... now the difficult work begins ... i am considering very strongly what i can do to help him 'self-correct' and re-intergrate back into society ... if anyone has ideas or experience i would really appreciate the help ...

peace :::

::: dr dave :::

2004-10-30T19:03:00.000-05:00

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today dr dave spent much of the day talking with the various folks coming into the store and signing copies of his newest book . . . what a treat to spend time with a friend . . .

peace :::

::: victory salute? :::

2004-10-29T19:38:00.000-05:00

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everyone please stand in line and make sure that you vote next week . . . PLEASE VOTE YOUR CONSCIOUS . . . vote the way that Jesus would vote . . . i've heard this kind of crap all week and i haven't said anything . . . i made an agreement with myself that i would not blog about the elections until after they have concluded . . . but i needed to post what was over at the rearviewWindow site . . this is one for the ~ christian right wing ~ to think about . . . a victory salute? . . . who knows . . . politics is a messy business . . . this may have been before he actually became a Christ follower . . .?? lots of southern/texas accents in the background . . .???

(Click on the picture for the entire download)

peace:::

::: epiphany :::

2004-10-29T09:46:00.000-05:00

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for the last year or so i have been attending classes on thursday evenings at the epiphany association . . . epiphany is a unique two-year post-graduate certification program that covers the essential components of theoretical and practical formative spirituality . . . the attempt is to bring together contemplatively and ascetical insights into the formative, reformative, and transformative emergence of christian character, personality, and life call . . . every thursday it seems i come home 're-calibrated’ and this thursday was no different . . . in reflection this morning i read in foundations of christian formation the following quote from saint isidore, bishop of seville in spain:

"Prayer (soul) purifies us, reading (mind) instructs us. Both are good when both are possible. Otherwise, prayer is better than reading.

If a man wants to be always in god’s company (will), he must pray regularly and read regularly. When we pray, we talk to god, when we read, god talks to us (heart).

All spiritual growth comes from reading and reflection. By reading we learn what we did not know; by reflection we retain what we have learned.

Reading the holy scriptures confers two benefits. It trains the mind to understand them; it turns man’s attention from the follies of the world and leads him to the love of god.

Two kinds of study are called for here. we must first learn how the scriptures are to be understood, and then see how to expound them with profit [fruitfulness] and in a manner worthy of them. A man must first be eager to understand what he is reading before he is fit to proclaim what he has learned.

The conscientious reader will be more concerned to carry out what he has read than merely to acquire knowledge of it. For it is a less fault to be ignorant of an objective than it is to fail to carry out what we do know. In reading we aim at knowing, but we must put into practice what we have learned in our course of
study.

No one can understand the holy scripture without constant reading, according to the words: love her and she will exalt you. embrace her and she will glorify you.

The more you devote yourselves to a study of the scared utterances, the richer will be your understanding of them, just as the more the soil is tilled, the richer the harvest.
Some people have great mental powers but cannot be bothered with reading, what reading could have taught them is devalued by their neglect. Others have a desire to know but are hampered by their slow mental processes; yet application to reading will tach them things which the clever fail to learn through laziness.
The man who is slow to grasp things but who really tries hard is rewarded; equally he who does not cultivate his God-given intellectual ability is condemned for despising his gifts and sinning by sloth.
Learning unsupported by grace may get into our ears; it never reaches the heart. It makes a great noise outside but serves no inner purpose. But when God's grace touches our innermost minds to bring understanding, his word, which has been received by the ear, sinks deep into the heart"

for me and the place that i find myself on this journey . . . this quote is 'packed' with meaning . . . i read it this morning, typed it here later in the morning, now i am printing it to reflect on it throughout the day . . .

peace:::

::: nooma :::

2004-10-28T08:44:00.000-05:00

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this material comes with the highest of recommendations!!!!!! IT IS EXCELLENT!!!!!!

peace :::

::: randomness :::

2004-10-27T12:27:00.000-05:00

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i have been pondering several random thoughts around in my head all morning and much of last night . . . random because there are several issues and several i can’t blog about . . . whenever i have ‘un-settled’ issues i tend to think of them from every possible angle and that normally lends itself to randomness or it appears that way . . .

my office is about 50 yards away from the ‘hard road’ in front of our house . . . I was sort of ‘raised in a garage’ as a kid and have an ear for motors . . . when ever i hear a ‘gurgle’ that is deep and throaty going up the road it is always a truck . . . V-8’s I guess . . .

recovering christmas is difficult . . . at the store we are preparing christmas inventory . . . how did December 25th become an entire season? It seems like every year it gets more stretched out year after year . . . I think that celabrating important things like christmas and our anniversary is important and the idea of spending more time with family is also a good concept . . . but the problem is that none of these things have anything to do with christmnas . . . christmas is not ‘it’s a wonderful life’ (as much as we all may enjoy the emotion of that movie) . . . giving, varing, loving, sharing, spending money, this is not christmas either . . . christmas is about incarnational issues . . . the incarnation of God in the person of Christ born in a cave many centuries ago . . . it seems clear that the church has embraced (my self included) the cultural meaning of christmas . . . I want to live in the mystery of the true meaning of christmas . . . i want to celebrate a holy day this year not a holiday . . . what should my mission statement for this quarter look like?. . . what will differentiate my family’s celebration from a ‘non-christian’ celebration … (not said well at all) . . . are advent candles enough???

re-heated chinese food is okay but it breaks the ‘improved with each warm up rule’ normal assigned to leftovers like chili, stews, etc. . . .

bars offer some of the best naturally occurring community on the planet . . . better than starbucks and certainly better than churches! . . . why don’t we talk about that more (why not discuss ‘best practices’ or lessons learned from great bars)?

why do we ‘choke’ on words like shit, hell, ass, fuck, damn, but sit in silence listening to or even participating in gossip, indefensible insults, or simply making fun of others that are different than us . . . we willingly take part in dissentions, and harsh criticisms . . . or worse yet we throw scripture verse ‘bombs’ and give no mind to the resulting concussions or the resulting fall out . . . materialism, over eating, hoarding, or workaholism is accepted as normative . . . we attribute much of it to ‘providing for our families’ or something bogus like that . . .

what brings more shame to the kingdom . . . infrequently enjoying a Cuban cigar or an addiction to materialism and out of control impulse spending? Master Card or Monte Cristo??

the role of Christ followers is not to develop “nice” people that simply follow rules . . . it is about deep seated spiritual formation and changing over time toward the image of Christ (imitation) . . . passionately living out Christ’s rule within the kingdoms of our own hearts . . .

i have this friend that I have mentored over the last 9 years . . . the shelve life of our relationship is well beyond the typical 2 year period . . . i am torn over how to handle an element of recurring sin in his life . . . it is hurting him long term and it is difficult to tolerate, multiple people have broken fellowship with him over this issue . . . yet I love him and his family and I sincerely want to be a positive influence . . . how is that balanced with enabling on my part?

what would make anyone want to modify and produce a genetically engineered cat?

peace:::

::: October 26th !!!!! :::

2004-10-26T09:59:00.000-05:00

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of all the dates on the calendar October 26th is one of the more important dates . . .

if you click on the link to the right ‘saint of the day’ you will discover that it is saint contardo ferrini ia the saint of the day . . . he was the son of a teacher who went on to become a learned man himself, one acquainted with some dozen languages. today he is known as the patron saint of universities

the emerging church in particular should be grateful to people like saint contardo, because it was through many of his efforts that the roman church long ago laid to rest the idea that science and faith are incompatible. we thank God for the many ways science has made our lives better. all that remains to us is to help to ensure that the rest of the world, especially impoverished nations, get to enjoy the fruits of scientific advance . . .

(a note to the protestant readers: catholic saints are holy people who are very much human people who lived extraordinary lives. each saint the church honors responded to God's invitation to use his or her unique gifts. God calls each one of us to be a saint and the saints are merely examples of how that calling can be lived out . . .)

HOWEVER, if you’ve guessed that saint contardo ferrini day is what makes today special you would not be entirely correct . . .

today, 23 years ago on a beautiful fall tuesday morning loveable linda and me got into my white 1972 chevy nova and drove to winchester va . . . when we got to winchester . . . we went to a small county office building and applied for a marriage license . . . after receiving the marriage license, we went to a baptist church about two blocks away to be married . . . we walked up to the church where we were greeted by a now faceless but polite receptionist . . . she buzzed the pastor (a gentle older man) to tell him that we were there and then she walked us into his study . . . (his office was very warm and fitting for such a nice older church) . . .the pastor spoke with us briefly and asked if we wanted to be married in his office or we could go to a small chapel within the church . . . we opted for the small chapel . . . we walked with the pastor to the chapel and loveable linda and i married . . . and for that event and that day 23 years ago i will be eternally grateful . . . in the ‘spirit’ of saint contardo let me say that this single event can only be trumped by our salvation experiences, it was the ‘smartest’ thing i’ve ever done . . . thank you linda for being so willing to marry someone like me . . . clearly i married well . . .

peacefully (gratefully) married :::

::: cabelas :::

2004-10-25T07:13:00.000-05:00

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if its outdoor sports these people have it ...

our family drove to cabelas this weekend ... it is unreal ... they have so much STUFF ... jonathan and i were really focused on the fly tying shop ... cool stuff and nice guys working in the shop ...

this weekend the bsa is having a urban emphasis at camp baker and my customer and my employer went together and gave $75k toward this effort ... its a great cause and should be a lot of fun ... jonathan ans i are doing the vespers service . . .

peace :::

::: fly fishing MASTERS ::::

2004-10-23T15:20:00.000-05:00

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jonathan, luke, nick and chris have all completed their flies for today . . . the "Wooley Bugger" and the hare's ear nymph was the focus of tying today . . . now its off to the stream to make a fall attempt at trout . . .

peacefully headed for the stream :::

:::peacefully :::

2004-10-23T07:59:00.000-05:00

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jonathan, nick, chris, and luke are all coming to the store today to tie fly fishing lures ... these guys love messing with elk fur, moose mane, and feathers from a roster ... they are doing fly fishing merit badge together ...

... perhaps, after work today we could all ride over to the camp and look for some mushrooms . . . lights need to be replaced, lots of 'busy' work today ...

... i read a small section from st. john of the cross this morning ... truly, he is the augustine of formative/contempletive theology . . .

peace:::

::: its official, i'm a liberal :::

2004-10-22T00:32:00.000-05:00

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thanks to steve . . . i took this test after my teresa of avila class last night . . . we are reading the interior castle . . . really good stuff . . .

anyway, according to the test i'm a political liberal . . . here are the results:

According to your answers, the political description that fits you best is...

Left (Liberal)

Left (Liberal) Liberals usually embrace freedom of choice in personal matters, but tend to support significant government control of the economy. They generally support a government-funded "safety net" to help the disadvantaged, and advocate strict regulation of business. Liberals tend to favor environmental regulations, defend civil liberties and free expression, support government action to promote equality, and tolerate diverse lifestyles.

peacefully liberal ::: ;)

::: to progress or not progress :::

2004-10-21T15:47:00.000-05:00

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i am blogging late today . . . and i will need to blog late tomorrow i have a full morning . . .

. . i am writing this blog in response to several discussions by other blogger that i read (look to the right of your screen) around the topic of 'spiritual practices' and either their necessity or not . . . blogs of previous days seem to indicate that they are not . . . and just as i have cerious concerns about the 'quality' of the institutional church i have equal concerns about the quality of this emerging church . . . specifically, i have issues with this question because of the fundamental nature of the question . . . its almost like asking if spiritual deveopment is required to be a Christ follower . . . my obsessive tendencies when it comes to things like this are really pronounced around these sorts of topics and i need the help of the community around me to keep me as balanced as possible . . . which is another reason for my hesitancy to even bring it up . . . but more central is the tendency toward producing theological heat rather than theological light when it comes to hammering out and defining theological topics . . . and that is one thing I will NOT contribute to more HEAT . . .

. . . over the more recent years I have sincerely struggled with the place that the bible should take in the emerging church . . . and for the record i DON'T believe that it is to be considered EXCLUSIVELY (solo(a) scriptura) . . . what place does the weighted effects of church tradition have? . . . what about the collective wisdom of the community around me . . . and oddly enough what about my own experience? for me the candle of meditation (which is lit as i type) and even the incense which burns are playing and increasingly important role in my own personal revelation . . . that little phrase make many evangelicals very nervous . . .

essentially, I have been asking myself what is the hermeneutic standard for interpretation and how does it relate to missional living . . . where do we the people whose God is ABBA where do we turn for the real answers to living this mystery of faith ? . . . exclusively to the bible, our friends, perhaps our ‘religious’ experiences . . . (perhaps all of the above?) because I am weaker with some of these tools than with others i’ve mentioned i can only hope that you’ll be patience with me as i probably overly depend on and use the bible and books i have read over the years that I have determined as being consistant ‘sound thoughts’ but these are the navigational devises that i am most familiar with . . .

as i've read comments from various bloggers it sounds as though the actually disbelief in what i have always known as ‘spiritual formation’ or the old term is ‘progressive sanctification’ . . . for me that’s a real mental challenge because it is so fundamental to orthodoxy (generous or not) . . . in much church literature it is even called orthopraxy and it seems logically so apparent . .. i have always assumed its importance because my motivation and initial attraction to follow Christ was around the possibilities that exist within the hopes of spiritual formation theology . . . i was totally un-churched for much of my life so that creates a significant bias too . . . and i don't want to operate blindly . . .

. . . the nt thought around spiritual formation and progressive sanctification is like the belief in God it is ‘assumed’ in both the old and new testaments . . . stories are told illustrating its positive and potentially negative effects if not pursued but generally speaking it is assumed in scripture . . . however the thought is best codified in heb 12:14 . . . the writer calls nt believers to: ‘AS PERTAINING TO YOUR PRIVATE LIFE MAKE EVERY EFFORT . . . another version simply says PURSUE [my emphasis] peace with all men, and HOLINESS [the greek word used here is hagiasmos which we commonly translate as purification, or sanctification] without which no one will see the Lord . . . ‘ ( i am assuming that the writer has the same intent that Jesus had when He delivered a similar message in the sermon on the mount . . . meaning that even in this life if we are not pursuing God as described we continue unaware of His presence and working around us . . . Jesus specifically equates purity of heart with this type of spiritual blindness . . . NOT MENTAL ASSENT TO DOCTRINES . . . application deployment!!) . . . i am by no means a geek expert (sorry greek expert) but the normal tools available indicate that the meaning of hagiasmos is . . . to render, or acknowledge to be venerable, to hallow . . . to separate from things profane and dedicate to God through consecration . . . that sounds as practically speaking about as impossible as something can be . . . its a ‘tall order’ in my book and that's why it is commonly understood as being progressional . . . and clearly this creates a potentially slippery slope that we have all seen abused by proponents of the doctrine of isolation . . . amish, pentecostal holiness, fundamentalism in general . . . isolation from culture does not equal holiness . . .

an over riding thought for me is Christ did not call us to ‘do’ church stuff and religious activities for their own sake or for the sake of religion . . . i am saying that those activities in light of the kingdom HAVE (VERY LITTLE) INTRINIC VALUE but rather Christ did call us to ‘be’ the church . . . that for me is the pivotal point of this conversation . . . this issue bubbles to the top quickly at the place that appears to be between the initial imputation of ‘righteousness’ (salvation and positional sanctification) . . . and after salvation occurs . . . (where progressional sanctification occurs) incremental aspects of Chrsit life ‘imitated’ over time better our souls because as we imitate Christ life and as pertaining to our private lives we make every effort . . . we over time become increasingly more like Him and less like what we were initially . . . or else what are the substanitve differences? are there any? i think so . . .

. . . in my mind almost the entire book of colossians is focused on this point of how should we then live . . . ‘since you have been raised with Christ . . . set your hearts [passions] on things above’ . . . ‘put to death’ [this is the attempted removal of what is undesirable first step of spiritual formation - removal] . . . ‘you must rid yourselves of’ . . . then the objects of behavioral replacement occur . . . clothing yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. bearing with each other and forgiving whatever grievances we may have against one another . . . then he goes to the mat and says . . . ‘let the peace of Christ rule’. . . (not legalistic stuff Christ!) . . . let that rule in your hearts . . . and let the word of Christ dwell in you richly . . . and devote yourselves to prayer’ . . . those are two ‘spiritual practices’ and they seem to be performed toward an end and that end seems to be spiritual formation . . . it would seem fair to ask the edward deming sort of question of ourselves . . . so how am i/we doing with this? am i actively attempting to do this? and if so how 'fruitful' are my efforts . . . does driving to my next business appointment mean i am actively attempting this behavior? how about when I fill up the car with gas? . . . for me the answer to that is i don’t think so . . . that’s not how I understand the phrase devote yourselves . . . nor does that differentiate my spititual formation (qualititatively) from those who do not follow Christ . . . if we are intellectually honest about this issue and we observe the numerous ‘hobbys’ of many americans they don’t practically believe that’s what devote yourselves means either . . . in context it seems clear that this passage is not simply a justification discussion . . . from the greek perspective plato describes how to pursue and the cultivation of the virtuous life and his conclusion is not different from any major world religion . . . ‘positive spiritual formation requires WORKS and effort . . . (NOTICE: I did not say salvation, but I might even argue that at a later point!) . . . for me rev. 22:11 shows us that there are real ‘material differences’ between simply doing what is right in life and . . . and actually being holy . . . they ARE intrinsically different . . . i believe that this is accomplished by observing the life of Jesus and imitating it as thomas à kempis encouraged us in his imitation of Christ . . .

jn. 17:19 shows us a picture of Jesus saying he is sanctifying Himself and i assume (correctly or not) that by implication so can we . . . and immediately the scene moves into an image of Him praying . . . oddly enough . . . it seems clear that ‘holiness’ or this process of sanctification has a moral aspect to it . . . yet we may differ on what those morals consist of . . . but clearly the pursuit of holiness, or spiritual formation is a central determination of what it means to be a Christ follower . . .

the complete and final sanctification at death is yet another issue . . . no matter how much progress we make . . . ‘the partial will [one day] be done away with’ . . . we will become perfect and obedient instruments of God’ . . .

the smell of universal salvation on blogs is one thing and can be argued . . . however what Dietrich Bonhoeffer called ‘cheap grace’ is yet another . . . sounds like universalism at no cost . . . Jesus called people first to come and then after seeing . . . then after credibility and trust has been established He calls us to something deeper (read that as more difficult, and perhaps more worthwhile!) . . . follow me . . . that's the work of spiritual formation (or progressive santification) . . . i know that some of you disagree with this postion . . . please engage in the conversation . . .

peacefully :::

jethro moses father-in-law vs. jethro bodine

2004-10-19T19:45:00.000-05:00

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because i have many family members (and i love them all) that live in west virginia this picture really resonated with me . . . my father always affectionatedly referred to the items in the back of this truck as West Virginia suitcases ~~~

while much truth is said in jest . . . this is a cost of war that few americans count!

::: is it carol king or carly simons that felt the earth move under her feet? :::

2004-10-19T10:59:00.000-05:00

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.for years i have confused carole king with carly simons . . . but one of them in the 70's felt the earth move under her feet ... ... well being a student of humanities i vividly remember the importance of listening to the prophets of the culture . . . THE ARTIST . . . and apparently either carole or carly forsaw the postmodern fragmentation occurring within modern culture ... i’ve mentioned several times that i am finishing stanley grenz and john franke’s book beyond foundationalism . . .(am i allow to say again how incredibly good this book has been?) ... anyway, the 'theological earth' moved under my feet today and i wanted to document my thoughts ...

beyond foundationalism . . . has brought REAL clarity to the issues that form modern conservatism and modern liberalism . . . i think that i have at least a rudimentary understanding of the theological nuances of both positions which provides a fairly solid starting point for understanding the complexities of a postmodern approach . . .

i finally get it … the liberal theological motif or starting point is our spiritual experience … the conservative theological motif or starting point is the biblical text … the postmodern starting point is with God Himself … imagine that … the postmodern theological motif is being proposed as the trinity himself … why? because postmodernism asserts that theology ultimately is a question regarding the identity of God . . . “Who is God” . . . if that is true then liberal begin that definition with a description of their spiritual experiences . . . conservatives begin that definition with a reference to the biblical text handed down . . . postmoderns answer the question with three focal points that are direct ‘reactions’ to the short comings of both liberalism and conservatives . . . it ‘fits’ the biblical narratives, solicits christian tradition, and resonates with the cultural moments . . .

peace :::

::: pass throughs :::

2004-10-19T09:48:00.000-05:00

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The lambeth commission of the anglican communion has released its official report, outlining its investigation into the episcopal church’s, usa ordination of an openly homosexual bishop and a canadian diocese's authorization of same-sex union ceremonies. I just found the report, I hope to work my way through it. This is a HUGE for the church only second to . . . christianity today's weblog has a great roundup of reactions in both the secular press and from anglican leaders worldwide, unfortunately, however their commentary is as always from the evangelical standpoint . . . thanks to daniel for bringing it to my attention ...

thanks to jonathan for the following ... for those of you that are real hip-hop fans and like reflections on dexter's laboratory (enjoy) ... back to the lab again ...

by the way . . . additional 'in-depth theological' reflection ...

... what is greater than God?
... poor people have it
... rich people don't
... if you eat it you'll die

the answer will follow tomorrow . . . stay tuned, same blog time, same blog url . . .

peace :::

::: "how can i," he said, "unless someone explains it to me"

2004-10-18T07:50:00.000-05:00

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in acts 8:26-40 there is this great story about the ethiopian eunuch who is reading something but not understanding what he is reading ... most of the more academic blogs that i read are read from my perspective … meaning the assumption is always ‘these people understand emerging church/theology more than i do’ … i read some blogs and think ‘wow these guys really understand what’s going on with the emerging church and emerging theology’ … meanwhile i'm thinking i hope that i can learn something as i read their blogs, perhaps they may even read mine and comment something insightful so that i can learn something by osmosis if nothing else … those are my honest thoughts/approach … (that’s not to mention the simple intrinsic value of journaling) …

with that mindset, i am just finishing stanley grenz and john franke's beyond foundationalism, and i am just beginning nt wright’s the new testament and the people of God . . . i am over my head with this stuff … i read beyond foundationalism but if i am honest I didn’t feel like i got as much out of it as i could have … thus I feel a lot like the ethiopian eunuch may have felt reading this stuff … i called last week and it appears as though stanley grenz MAY BE AVAILABLE for a virtual (audio-teleconference) class to walk though the book … i am considering that …???

peace : : :

::: ‘blab-it and grab-it’ emerging church now there's a new idea :::

2004-10-14T09:36:00.000-05:00

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in my job there are two kinds of people . . . hunters – those that go out into the marketplace and find ‘fresh-meat’ and bring it back to the ‘other’ employees to prepackage and distribute . . . and farmers – those that cultivate over time business aspects that require growth like a garden . . . unlike the hunter the farmer cultivates relationships . . . in the past and probably at heart I am a hunter because I love the adventures associated with the search . . . but my job is primarily farming . . . cultivating long term relationship over time . . . I have two customers . . . one that I have had for 9 years . . . another I am hunting to cultivate deep relationships with . . .

I mention this because it is an integrated part of my life and because it is an intergrated part of my gifting . . . the faming not the hunting . . . this guy in the valley where i live got saved . . . it was such a big deal that this guy found Christ that the local newspaper ran a story on his transformation . . . anyway this guy started going to a local ‘blab-it and grab-it’ church (for those more conservative readers that a faith-movement church positive confession church) . . . anyway, when I read about his story i immediatedly wanted to go and befriend him but I was afraid to for a lot of different reasons . . . we had many things in common . . . so i waited . . . he comes into the store all the time looking for ‘spiritual consumables’ (books) . . . after two years or so of waiting for the right moment we finally connected (naturally) and we are reading mclaren’s ‘a new kind of christian’ together . . . this guy is really inked up and he has multiple/many piercing . . . evidence of where he was . . . where Christ meet him . . . and maybe more importantly where Christ has him today . . . it has been so long ago and so much time has elapsed since i lived in a ‘street culture’ that it was refreshingly scary . . . all of the ‘counter-culture’ people that I have been encountering lately are helping me exit the ‘evangelical sub-culture’ (and for that i am grateful) . . . it has caused me to look back at my lifestyle before Christ . . . and now that I am a ‘professional’ and accepted socially i am being given an opportunity to say positively through my own experience) that person who you are afraid of is EXACTLY like me . . . except you like me because i 'cleaned-up' and migrated to a different sub-culture your sub-culture . . . that conversation makes many people very uneasy and lovable linda gets really nervous when that conversation come to a head . . . (by the way ~ i’m pretty positive that these comments will offend someone reading this, i am not looking down on either sub-culture actually i am speaking more about the similarities found in both and the barriers that prevent each from seeing we are all just folks in the end . . . and neither culture is RIGHT . . . just what someone is familiar with . . .)

in preparation for that time together i re-read several chapters this morning to re-acquaint myself when the discussion . . . and as I re-read this discussion/analogy it really struck me as particularly truthful this morning because I am making breakfast for the adult leaders this weekend at our boy scout camporee . . . one of my closest friends (mike) tells me more often than I prefer when I say I MIGHT be a little ADD or ADHD he’s a doctor so he thinks that’s his invitation to pretty much diagnose at will and say whatever he wants to me (and he can he’s earned it) that i AM in fact ADD not might be ADD . . . i'm getting this creepy feeling this blog might be extremely ADD-centric ??? . . . (should i say i'm sorry? NOT) enjoy!

‘a good omelet is cooked slowly, so I keep stirring the egg with my fork as it cooks, slowly stirring, stirring, stirring, like this, but at some point, something happens. The egg that has been changing from raw to cooked rather suddenly transitions from a liquid to a solid. At that point, if I keep stirring with the fork, I will actually ruin the omelet. The tool that succeeded in the beginning helping me bring the omelet to this point now threatens to destroy it . . . the tool that I now need is not the fork but rather a spatula, so the omelet can be gently folded and then served . . .’

peace :::

::: absolute truth :::

2004-10-13T10:13:00.000-05:00

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this morning our family briefly discussed our reading patterns for the fall . . . essentially, in a period when i am de-centralized the bible . . . as a family we are centralizing our focus on actual bible content . . . we are returning to actual bible accounts of events . . . i would prefer looking at the gospels and specifically the words of Christ . . .

our conversation turned to several thoughts that i've have over the last few days . . . its sort of weird . . . (not as in weirdly liberal!) . . . anyway, its sort of weird how on the one hand 'logically' when we talk about 'absolute truth' and 'absolutes' in general . . . like you can't have one and ~one (not one) at the same time logically . . . but there are problems with this thinking when you ‘build out beyond foundational’ thinking . . . that’s the background . . . this morning we talked about how the truth can be a lot like a football stragety . . . (I’m not a football type and rarely use these analogies but as my theology forms around these issues it appears (today) as though there are many ‘methods’ or tactics possible for living out our faith . . . several strategies are ‘acceptable’ or within orthodox . . . and to the point of mclaren’s newest book ‘a generous orthodox’ it should be just that a generous orthodox . . . many different ‘plays’ that could be execute on the field of spiritual life . . . if we keep running the same plays we become proportional ineffective on that field . . . there is FREEDOM in Christ . . . to deploy whatever means are effective and what means are expedient . . . there is no ABSOLUTE in THIS regard . . . and it appears that absolutes beyond “foundationalism” (i.e. one and ~ one cannot exist at the same time type of thinking) appear to be a fact . . . BUT . . . it is also a 'fact' that water does not chemically change/morph into wine either . . . BUT ITS NOT THE TRUTH . . . Truth is a person . . . and He is more Mystery than He is known . . . (as mentally unpleasant as that maybe) . . . therefore the theology is LESS RELIABLE than the commands we understand to JUST SERVE . . . this is why i am turning away from evangelicism's overemphasis on knowing and looking to form more service and sacrament . . .

Lord have Mercy . . .

Christ have Mercy . . .

Lord have Mercy . . .

understanding (however weirdly) but still dimly the peace that is simply a by-product of being over knowing :::

::: urban day camp :::

2004-10-12T09:58:00.000-05:00

.i am a chaplin with the boy scouts of america . . . as part of my 'job' i do vesper services and attempt to stress the importance of the twelve points of the scout law . . . a scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent . . . it is a true statement that i am learning as much as the boys that i encounter . . . and for me that is a needed and good thing . . . and most of the learning has very little to do with books, and reading . . .

i had conflict with a guy this summer and that has been very difficult particularly because the issue was left unresolved . . . resolution was not allowed . . . i attempted several times to make peace with this man and he refused . . . i have struggled significantly with that ‘conflict event’ ever since my scoutmaster said: ‘what if that man doesn’t have the capacity to make it right with you david?’ . . . my head felt like it had been dunked in a mcdonald’s french-fry machine after that comment . . . yeah i wonder what does that mean if won’t let it be ‘fixed’ . . . regrettably, (or not) that means that i am being called to serve him under those ‘broken’ conditions . . . and that’s not the option that i would choose . . . but it appears to be the one chosen for me . . .

with that background and as a result . . . the bsa is the only organization authorized by the united states congress to ‘retire’ an american flag other than governmental agencies like the military . . . this guy that I had conflict with is very skilled at the ceremonial aspects of a proper flag retirement . . . i am going to be in charge of a ‘day camp’ and the evenings vespers service for 50-75 urban kids that are not part of the scouting program . . . and I am going to ask the guy that i had conflict with to help me . . . and I hope that because among scouts the flag retirement ceremony is an honorable job to be asked to perform . . . i hope he will see my intention of healing . . . i read the following this morning by william shakespeare and my mind immediately defaulted to theologians . . . and the emphasis toward these things earlier in church history away from these things in the modern church . . . please God make me more a tuned to your voice . . . and all of your forms of speech . . . even the unlikely ones . . .

The man that hath no music in himself
Nor is not mov'd with concord of sweet sounds,
Is fit for treasons, strategems, and spoils;
The motions of his spirit are dull as night,
And his affections dark as Erebus:
Let no such man be trusted.
Shakespeare: The Merchant of Venice

::: change :::

2004-10-11T09:59:00.000-05:00

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dave fleming is coming to the store on october 30th from 11am until around 2pm to autograph his newest book ... i wrote a blurb about his book this morning ... what i didn't say is that some evengelicals may object to some of the voices . . . but here is my blurb:

this is not just another leadership book . . . when dave fleming writes and speaks i listen . . . the church and corporate executives alike are re-thinking many complex issues facing our modern culture . . . it has been said that to experience real change it will take a level of thinking beyond the thinking that got us into our existing circumstances, dave fleming has lead us closer to that thinking with this book . . . this book will be of great help to leaders who are leading toward that future by looking to some unlikely but credible voices. . .

peace :::

::: dinner :::

2004-10-05T12:12:00.000-05:00

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... i've decided i'm cooking tonight's dinner . . . this is one of my favorite meals at our house ...

pasta with mussels, in a tomato basil cream

Serves: 6 to 8 as a main course

ingredients:
3 cups dry white wine

6 big garlic cloves, chopped

4 lbs. bag of mussels, cleaned and de-bearded
1/2 lb. shelled shrimp

2 cups heavy whipping cream

generous pinch of saffron threads

6-8 medium/large tomatoes, seeded and diced

1/3 cup basil

kosher salt to taste

fresh ground pepper to taste

1 1/2 lb. dry linguine

directions:

combine the wine and garlic in a large saucepan. bring to a boil over medium-high heat. reduce the heat, cover and cook 5 minutes. add the mussels, cover and steam until the mussels begin to open. remove from the heat and transfer the mussels to a baking sheet to cool, using a slotted spoon. discard any of the unopened mussels. (important step) now strain the liquid through a fine sieve into a medium saucepan. add the cream and saffron. bring to a boil over medium heat. cook on a low boil until reduced and thick. add the tomatoes and 3/4 of the basil. taste. add a pinch of salt and pepper to taste. stir, taste again and add more salt or pepper if needed. keep warm on low heat. now cook the pasta and then transfer to a colander to drain. add pasta to the sauce and toss to coat evenly. reheat the mussels over low heat. transfer the pasta to a bowl and top with the mussels. sprinkle the remaining basil over the top and serve maybe some grated romano cheese . . .

wine: chateau ste. michelle johannisberg riesling (white of course)

::: strongbad's email :::

2004-10-05T08:15:00.000-05:00

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… the truth is i am intimated by many (most) bloggers that i read … i am only beginning to learn and understand the fundamental issues and theology of a postmodern context so if you are ‘experienced’ you might just want to move on . . . becasue this is by no means deep or highly insightful … it is more like me talking out-loud to myself on this ship that is sailing … i just happen to be on it . . . and i'm worried it might sink ... (that's the truth) . . .

… as i indicated yesterday after 5 years at northway our family is looking for another community to worship with … I would love to ‘grow my own’ but because of our rural setting and the fact that we are also looking for greater liturgy not only in our ‘sabbath time’ but we are also attempting to more deeply integrate liturgy into every aspect of our lives, and the need for fellowship/community makes that an unrealistic option at this point . . . to that end our family visited with a group of episcopal believers in a nearby village this past sunday …as I indicated earlier, this particular group of believers are both modern and academic … the group of adults gathered around the widescreen tv and began (digesting) watching ravi zacharias . . . as the video began i started this sort of mental fist fight … so because at this point i feel extremely insecure about many of these loosely held positions when we came home i began going back over my highlighted paragraphs in grentz’s book beyond foundationalism to re-confirm my thoughts and pehaps more importantly confirm his thoughts on these pseudo-formed theological ‘hunches’ i feel regarding following Christ in a postmodern culture …

… essentially, I am discovering that a place of beginning for me is that i see within american modernism generally and specifically within the evangelical sub-culture an increasing polarization between liberals and conservatives … in these formative stages of thought it does not seem reasonable to me to assume one of these streams of thought as being right on a wholesale level and the other as just plain wrong … that’s a binary world white/black, ones/zeros, on/off and that’s not the world i live in and furthermore if someone is attempting to be intellectually honest about all of this we must submit to the truth generated within the arguments of both camps … my thinking is if it there were not legitimate arguments on both sides the polarization could not be so extreme (for me that’s a form of evidence that legitimacy exists on both sides) … that leaves me/us however in a precarious situation … portions of truth exist on both sides and i can’t see it properly because own held positions interfere … my preference is for a logical sound position going forward but that’s just not reasonable at this point or so it seems … i prefer direction that is clear and firm … a solution that is sequential and logical … that’s just not going to happen as it once did in the formative years of my theological thinking … the greatest traditions of the church tell us that this ‘way’ that we are following is if nothing else a mystery … so with I’m listening to the wisdom of stanley grentz’s in his book beyond foundationalism (page 22) as a starting point:

‘… the protestant reformation provides an example of a similar situation. the sixteenth-century protestants were in agreement that the medieval roman catholic tradition had corrupted the christian faith and so made the reformation of the church necessary. although they were united in what they were against, when it came to the task of setting forth a positive agenda they were fragmented. consequently, they struggled without success to achieve a unified movement. in a similar manner, postmodern thinkers are united not by agreement about a particular constructive agenda but by their shared belief that the modern project in inadequate and their shared commitment to the task of developing new paradigms for intellectual pursuit …’

… here what this looks like for me, if this all sounds like its vague and hard to discern that is because it simply is. i don’t have this ‘nailed down’ (by any means) i’m not even convinced at this point that i should, or that it is possible … i have blogged this thought before but for my own sanity it bears repeating … i feel like columbus crossing the atlantic for the first time … columbus’ compass had always had been reliably anchored toward the NW as he journeyed across the atlantic at some point the reliability of his compass failed him … when he got to a certain point in his journey his compass moved from being anchored at NW to being anchored at NE … similarly in my journey my compass and my other navigational devises have shifted for the first time but despite my fears the journey has not ended as a result of the failure of these external devises . . . so my theological starting point is around the ‘against’ part … that is theology by negative definition … i’m not this or that … instead of i am this … truly i am no longer conservative and i am not liberal despite holding some views of both on various subjects … (that was mentally painful) … but this is fun click this! . . .

peace :::

::: the deification of reason :::

2004-10-04T08:38:00.000-05:00

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… our family sort of has a rich heritage in the low worship arena … dave is leaving northway this month and its becoming even more purpose driven than ever . . . yuck! . . . because of a lot of reasons primarily internal movements we find ourselves looking for more of a sacramental focus not the pop evangelical focus or more of a purpose driven focus … anyway we visited trinity episcopal in beaver . . . this particular group of believers are both very modern and very academic … the group of adults gathered around the wide screen tv began watching ravi zacharias . . . as the video began i started this mental fist fight … linda kept looking at me and smiling she knew something was wrong . . . meanwhile she is listening to these seminary students bemoaning the collapse of modernism . . . or more correctly the symptoms of it collapse . . . they were discussing their negative perceptions of redaction, historical, lower, and higher criticisms . . . and in case no one knows it . . . culture is a very bad thing . . . linda is not seminary trained and couldn’t follow the conversation in its entirety … but after 22 years of marriage she would have known from across the room how uncomfortable i was in a conversation where WE are RIGHT and THEY are WRONG . . . one of the HOT issues raised by ravi zacharias and discussed a lot was the concept of ‘the sovereignty of academics’ . . . the perception is because of the ‘sovereignty of academics’ conservatives are at a disadvantage so how . . . (i could blog on that apparent admission of loss alone) … however what I wanted to say was that the real problem is the collapse of the ‘deification of reason’ left over from the enlightenment period . . . not the sovereignty of liberal academics . . . no one dared (especially me) mention the problem of absolute truth . . . i am planning to blog more on this later this week . . .

peace :::

::: WKRP :::

2004-10-03T20:00:00.000-05:00

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. . . i know that several bloggers that i read live in cincinnati . . . so, just in case you missed the game . . .

PIT 28, CIN 17: Recap

peace ::: ;)

::: lessons from virtual living :::

2004-10-01T09:51:00.000-05:00

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jonathan and i watched a movie a few weeks ago . . . i have even forgotten the name of it at this point but this young girl that ever 13 year old dreams of drove a mini-cooper throughout the movie like a race car in urban traffic . . . hot, VERY hot . . . fast cars, an attractive woman, nice cultural experience . . . anyway, jonathan is convinced that we should now sell our 1929 model 'a' (you need to scroll to down the page to see it) and buy a 'blue' mini cooper . . . so . . . when jeremy sent me this game link it was extremely well received in the robinson household to say the least . . .

. . . btw jeremy has implied (nothing specfic mind you but i tend to listen pretty closely when people talk) . . . that his girl friend jess not only has great taste in men, and wine but the whisper is she kisses great too . . . as though that's not enough she also works as somekind of regional guru at an electronic games chain . . . (easy guys, he's already got this pretty sewn-up, what's next the lottery, if he marries this chick, trust me when i tell you he's marrying up and in a big way, if you get my drift! the only thing that could get better than that is . . . well never mind the guys get it, i can't go there) . . . according to jess via jeremy there is a Game Boy new dual screen PDA the Nintendo DS about to release in november with a WiFi feature . . . hot, very hot (check the link) . . . don't forget to check out the mini cooper game . . . its awsome , , ,

attempting to live the mystery with peace, but without a 'controller' : : :

::: i love you . . . still :::

2004-09-30T08:00:00.000-05:00

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. . . particularly when i am still . . .

'we must imitate Christ's life and His ways if we are

to be truly enlightened and set free from the dark-

ness of our own hearts. let it be the most impor-

tant thing we do, then to reflect on the life of Jesus

Christ'

~ thomas kempis

world on fire sarah mclachlan

the world's on fire its more than i can handle
i'll tap into the water try and bring my share
try to bring more, more than i can handle
bring it to the table
bring what i am able

hearts are worn in these dark ages
you're not alone in these stories pages
the light has fallen amongst the living and the dying
and i'll try to hold it in
yeah i'll try to hold it in

i watch the heavens but i find no calling
something i can do to change what's coming
stay close to me while the sky's falling
i don't wanna be left alone don't wanna be alone

hearts break hearts mend love still hurts
visions clash planes crash still there's talk of
saving souls still the cold's closing in on us

we part the veil on our killer sun
stray from the straight line on this short run
the more we take the less we become
the fortune of one man means less for some

. . . just a suggestion . . .

peace, but only for some :::

::: obedience? what's that really look like ... :::

2004-09-29T07:04:00.000-05:00

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. . . not a lot of words today ... to many have already been said ...

. . . i've cried already today ... once because of blogged words about a painful life endured

... the second time because i really want to help ... i'm going back ...

praying for peace and working for relief :::

::: this old house, this old car, and a view from the pew :::

2004-09-28T00:30:00.000-05:00

. . . . how do we really grow and emerge?? . . . understanding is at the base of care . . what we don’t understand we cannot care for properly . . . that is a simple but difficult concept to activate in our lives . . . we must care for ourselves and we must care for those God has given us relationships with . . . but if we are genuinely to answer the call of God to bind up the broken, mend the hurting, and while spreading truth spread it GRACIOUSLY deep understanding is required . . . primarily an understanding of the person . . . who is this person God has placed me in relationship with? How can I help them . . . what do they need that God desires to give them . . . perhaps through me . . . let me explain like this . . . i have this old car that I have owned it since I was about 12 years old it is a 1929 model a roadster with a rumble seat in the back . . . i bought the car with my father for $400 in 1970 something, we split the costs . . . i put up $200 and he put up $200 . . . if the truth is to be told he put up $400 and i paid him back . . . anyway after years of failed attempts at a total restoration as a kid . . . I took the project on as an adult . . . i began working on this car FROM THE GROUND UP . . . EVERY nut and bolt on the car was apart and processed (cleaned, sandblasted, primed, and re-painted) EVERY nut and bolt . . .

. . . my point here is that whenever i’m out with the car my son always says (with the inflection of a teenage boy able to correct a parent) . . . ‘dad you’d better take the key out someone’s gonna steal it’ . . . the fact is NOTHING could be further from the truth . . . because the potential thief is unfamiliar with the car . . . he can’t steal it . . . and if he did he wouldn’t get far because he doesn’t understand it therefore he can’t care for it, he doesn’t understand that the gas under the dashboard has to be turned off every time you park it or it will flood the engine . . . so that while it will start I only goes about 20 feet and runs out of gas if you don’t turn the gas back on . . . or that the manual spark advancement is required before starting when the engine is hot or it won’t fire in time . . . and on and on . . . because of the intimate nature of my experience with this car i not only hear every noise that doesn’t belong i also see every flaw and accept them . . . just like in most successful marriages . . . frequent ‘tinkering’ or care is required of the driver of this car . . . it is drastically over engineered but NOTHING ON THIS CAR IS MAINTENANCE FREE that’s why that lasted so long people of years gone by were willing to invest over time . . . this car was made for working americans in those days they were primarily tradesmen or farmers . . . those folks of the early 20’s and 1930’s took the time, and invested long term when tinkering and care was not only not a problem it was assumed as a part of a simpler way of life . . . but to the point they knew how to care for the car because they deeply understood the car and all of its weaknesses . . . moms are like that with their children too . . . they can tell from 50 foot away if a scream is an argument because of a phase their kid is going through or if real trouble plumes over-head . . . why because they intimately understand the child . . . understanding is the base of care . . . if you don’t intimately understand then you have difficulties caring . . .

We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. 1 Thessalonians 2:8 NIV

We loved you dearly. Not content to just pass on the Message, we wanted to give you our hearts. And we did. 1 Thessalonians 2:8 MSG

. . . these passages have always deeply fascinated me they give us a glimpse into paul's definition and methods of ministry . . . it is clear to bruce’s point that the apostles and early disciple did not merely rant on with purely academic answers to those in their care . . . academic sterility doesn’t really help anyone particually when it is pre-packaged and manufactured for mass distribution . . . there is much more to it than that . . . certainly more than just doing something academic (true) . . . but also more than just making someone just feel good . . . that doesn't help to equip them or disciple them . . . the lack of something (physical or spiritual) creates a vacuum by nature and i believe that God has specifically called us, His people, to fill those vacuums where possible . . . fill that which is empty, heal that which hurts, and mend the broken . . . wherever that is possible and that can only come as we more fully understand each other like the mother with her kids, the model a, or phil's 1850's house that needs paint . . . just compare the heart the tone, the voice and the levels of understanding in those passages compared with the corporate-administrative efforts/focus of today's modern churches (why is no one mentioning that the king has no clothes on? clearly he is naked) . . . or compared to the hyper-academic answers of yesterday’s churches . . . still nothing real or substantative . . . the truth is many people today are on para-church and church boards not to mention working in actual places of ‘fulltime ministry’ because they are skilled at some level as a business managers and as people (control) managers . . . that's bullshit (or dung for those still living in the 1st century!) . . . typically they are schooled in biblical studies becasue that is what the church produces (boy is that another blog!) . . . but the majority of their skill in reality and often admittedly is applied to business finance and business management issues not people . . . they are not in place because they are pastors (read that as care givers) . . . who possess an intimate understanding of those God has given them so that he can CARE FOR or PASTOR THEM . . . they are in place becasue the buildings and bank accounting needs care . . . i hear this haunting in my heart, to really love God, and to really serve His Son with ALL (all?) of our hearts, ALL (all?) of our minds, and ALL (all?) of our souls . . . and to do that . . . to REALLY do that it requires a lot of change, a lot of attention, understanding, and a lot of hard work with people not with things . . . deacons work with things not pastors and elders . . . and that's my view from the pew . . .

peace :::

::: how shall we live:::

2004-09-27T08:24:00.000-05:00

. . . I am writing this blog in response to several discussions around the spiritual practices blog of previous days . . . i have sincere concerns about responding to these questions because of the fundamental nature of the questions . . . my obsessive tendencies when it comes to things like this are another reason for my hesitancy but more central is the tendency toward producing heat rather than light when it comes to hammering out theological topics . . . and that is one thing I will NOT contribute in . . .

. . . over the more recent years I have sincerely struggled with the place that the bible should take in the emerging church . . . what place does tradition have? For me the candle of meditation and even incense are playing and increasingly important role (personal revelation) . . . essentially, I have been asking myself what is the hermeneutic standard for interpretation and as it relates to missional living . . . clearly that seems to increasingly be about relationships (that’s the missional hermeneutic) . . however when it comes to the issues of how to live life personally, after a relationship with Christ has been established, and satisfactory levels of community have been secured . . . where do we the people whose God is ABBA where do we turn for the real answers to living the mystery of faith ? . . . because I am weaker with some of these other tools i’ve mentioned i can only hope that you’ll be patience with me as i probably overly depend on and use the bible and people i have read over the years but this is currently the only navigational devises i am familiar with . . .

. . . as I read bruce’s comments in the previous post it sounds as though he actually disbelieves in a ‘progressive sanctification’ . . . and for me that’s a real challenge because it is so fundamental to orthodoxy . . . i have always assumed its importance because my motivation and attraction to Chrsit was around the possibilities that lie within spiritual formation . . . i sincerely appreciate his thought provoking questions . . .

. . . the nt thought around spiritual formation and progressive sanctification is like the belief in God ‘assumed’ in both the old and new testament . . . however it one place where this thought is best codified in heb 12:14 . . . the writer calls nt believers to: ‘pursue peace with all men, and holiness [the greek word used here is hagiasmos which we commonly translate as consecreation, purification, and sanctification] without which no one will see the Lord . . . ‘ ( i am assuming that the writer has the same intent that Jesus had when He delivered a similar message in the sermon on the mount . . . Jesus specifically equates purity of heart with spiritual blindness) . . . I am by no means a greek expert but the normal tools available to students indicate that the meaning of sanctification is . . . to render, or acknowledge to be venerable, to hallow . . . to separate from things profane and dedicate to God through consecration . . . sounds like a tall order to me . . . and clearly creates a potential slippery slope that we have all seen abused by the doctrine of isolation . . .

an over riding thought for me is that as bruce correctly points out Christ did not call us by necessity to do church or religious activities for their own sake or for the sake of religion . . . but rather He did call us to be something . . . that for me is the pivotal point of the conversation . . . this issue bubbles to the top quickly at the place that appears to be between the initial imputation of ‘righteousness’ (salvation) . . . and after salvation occurs . . . at the place where progressional imputations of Christ are incremental uncovered (that's the progressive santification process as i understand it) . . . the question then being begged at this point becomes is it an act performed by man empowered by God’s grace or is it act an act solely performed by God at salvation . . . this is not to be confused with the initial act of justification . . .

. . . in my mind the almost the entire book of colossians is focused on this point of how should we then live . . . ‘since you have been raised with Christ . . . set your hearts [passions] on things above’ . . . ‘put to death’ [the attempted removal of what is undesirable] . . . ‘you must rid yourselves of’ . . . then the objects of behaivoral replacement occur . . . clothing yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. bearing with each other and forgiving whatever grievances we may have against one another . . . then he goes to the mat and says . . . ‘let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts . . . and let the word of Christ dwell in you richly . . . and devote yourselves to prayer’ . . . those are two of the spiritual practices . . . and if we REALLY believe the words of the Bible then it would seem fair to ask ourselves how am i doing with this? am i actively attempting to do this? does driving to my next business appointment mean i am actively attempting to do this? . . . for me the answer to that is i don’t think so . . . that’s not how I understand the word devote [attend continually, give one's self continually] . . . and if you observe the ‘hobbys’ of many american they don’t believe that’s what devote means either . . . in its context it is clear that this passage is not a justification discussion but rather it is a post-salvation focus on what christian life might look like . . .

. . . for me rev. 22:11 shows us that there is a ‘material difference’ between simply doing what is right in life and . . . and actually being and pursuing holiness . . . they appear to be intrinsically different . . . i can only suspect that this is accomplished by observing the life of Jesus and imitating as thomas kempis encouraged us in his imitation of Christ . . . jn. 17:19 shows us a picture of Jesus saying he is sanctifying Himself and I assume that by implication so can we. . . and immediately the scene moves into an image of Him praying . . . oddly enough . . . it seems clear that ‘holiness’ or the process of sanctification has a moral aspect to it . . . yet we may differ on what those morals consist of . . . but clearly the pursuit of holiness is a central determination of what it means and it has always meant to be a Christ follower or a jew for that matter . . . moral purity was only second to demonstrated relational living throughout church history . . . it was what made our faith 'attractive to outsiders' . . .

. . . today the emerging church correctly assumes that many already have belief in God and we are called to 'find them' . . . however, as we have seen one of the primary problems of 'enlightenment styled evangelism' when contrasted to missional living . . . it centers on an overemphasis on the personal salvation of the individual and the larger message of the gospel is often lost . . . to often the limelight is too heavily focused on the evangelist, his personality, his eloquence, his abilities, the story of his own conversion, the hardships that he has endured, the number of his converts, and in some instances the healings performed . . . this is NOT normative to nt Christ followers . . . REMEMBER JOHN WOULD NOT EVEN MENTION HIS OWN NAME WHEN DESCRIBING HIS OWN EXPERIENCES WITH JESUS . . . at others times the focus is on the convert, their stories, their plight, their poverty . . . real Christ centered evangelism focuses not on point ‘a’ BEFORE salvation . . . nor does it incorrectly overemphasize point ‘b’ AFTER this life and when we go to heaven . . . this is likely one of the greatest heresy in the church today . . . get saved . . . and wait . . . hold, . . . hold, . . . hold . . . just like in braveheart mel gibson yells so it can be with us . . . just sitting around awaiting heaven . . . the modern hearer of the message is incorrectly (i believe) left with the idea that the sum and substance of the Christian message is simply making a decision for Christ at an altar or at some particular point and then its sort of a waiting game . . . then what we are ultimately faced with is at the expense of the evangelist's 'effectiveness' in advancing the decisionmaking tree there evolves a sort of divorce between the actual decision that has been made and the longer (and more difficult) journey of a life of obedience . . . my point here is that often in the hyped up versions of individualized salvation with super-preachers and evangelist . . . we get so lost between what God CAN do that we must humble ourselves and simply look at what God HAS already chosen to do as it is clearly laid out in both the bible and the historic traditions of the (patristic) church . . . my point here is that no special facilities, programs, talents, or techniques are required . . . it doesn't even require a budget . . . just faithfulness to the process of spiritual formation in christlikeness exposed in the scriptures and the tradition of the church . . . explimified in the lives of His ‘peculiar’ people . . .

. . . spirituality however is not by necessity automatically good . . . it only means non-physical or meta-physical . . . clearly the nt is full of references where paul points to God who is beyond these 'fables' . . . but my point here is that the real purpose of progressive santification is for the posession of our souls . . . the shaoing of our souls . . . wisdom literature both within orthodoxy and outside of christianity agree that like a garden spiritual formation occurs within everyone and this spiritual formation is the inescapable human condition regardless of religious context, or even religious interest or affiliation . . . it happens to the most despicable as well as the most respected . . . terrorist and saints alike . . . over time the fact is humans become a certain kinds of persons at the depths of who we are . . . our essence . . . and that soulish formation is the outcome of a life lived . . . the process of living life effects us all whether we like it or not . . . its what it means to be human . . . the shaping or the re-shaping of the human heart after living life and the spoilage that occurs in that process is at the heart of the struggle of mankind and is the hope that Christ brought to mankind . . . the realitiy of this lives well beneath the surface of spiritual life as it is placed before the general public today however . . . the real problem seems to be that the church is driven primarily by pop-theology . . . and it has not been effective at imparting real answers to the most vital questions of human existence . . . snf sadly, today churches are full of administrators not men and women who are care givers (pastors) and in office because to their giftedness . . . TODAY CASH (like Elvis) IS KING NOT CHRIST . . . and as a result church boards are focusing on the abc’s (attendance, buildings, and cash) of christianity not sapiritual formation and discipleship . . . these external things are NOT to be our focus . . . PERIOD . . . paul’s desire for the church was ‘that Christ be formed within you’ (gal 4:19) . . . as you have correctly said we must move beyond the merely external (outward) emphasis on specific acts . . . we must go beyond the righteousness of the scribes as Jesus taught us . . . but that does not by logical necessity mean to the exclusion of those acts . . . that is a logical fault . . . the scribes gave to the poor must we merely ‘react’ against that behavior and not give to the poor (God forbid) . . . or is it better to ‘act’ rightly and give with the attitude and heart that Christ Himself practiced . . . that’s obvious . . . the argument against progressive sanctification is similar in my mind . . . just because potential abuse and evil exist that is no excuse to avoid its potentially beneficial effects . . .

. . . spiritual formation is by no means some magical incantation or an irrational process that is only effective at a rate similar to strikes of lightening whenever and whereever it will . . . spiritual experiences like paul at damascus (on the spot decisions for Christ) do not constitute spiritual formation, though they could be meaningful . . . rather christian spiritual formation is something that the human spirit decides to undertakes . . . it is an act of the will . . . a choice . . . not a requirement . . . it will happen inevitably . . . but how . . . what will the souls flavor or scent be?? . . . again that is a choice of the human will . . . and as my friend dave says . . .

living the mystery at peace :::

::: more spiritual practices :::

2004-09-24T15:46:00.000-05:00

bruce ... the historic christian faith (pre-reformation, the patristic church if you will, in its earliest years) 'spiritual practices' were very much apart of a life lived 'christianly' . . . and as you point out (correctly) life is lived out in relationship ... this specific post however is about personal growth that is realized through the practices discussed ... HOWEVER ... it seems clear that the mere definition of repentance implies not just a leaving something before entering into relationship with Christ but by definition it also implies a traveling toward something else ... in my mind and I think the historic faith points us to ‘spiritual practices’ ~ activities that define our lifestyles … in the muslim world that historic view fondly reflected describe us as people of the book … meaning historically people that name the name of Christ are known as people that live a lifestyle that includes the study of the book … another spiritual practice is something very specific that Jesus taught the earliest of disciples … prayer … while I don’t do it well/enough I am trying … another is fasting … just said when you fast … while speaking with the earliest and His immediate disciples … by implication … He anticipated them/us practicing that behavior … i believe He pointed us toward those kinds of activities (spiritual practices) with a specific end point in mind … our spiritual formation … and the associated changes that spiritual formation brings further define the historic christian . . . does that makes sense …???

peace:::::

::: CONSISTENT spiritual practices :::

2004-09-22T09:21:00.000-05:00

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... i think that in the back of my head since my first spiritual experience i have always felt a certain level of guilt . . . (for the literalist among us who might object to this verbiage what I mean by guilt is a self-imposed standard that is not being achieved despite it is desired on some level) . . . guilt related to the spiritual practices . . . specifically around their CONSISTENT practice . . . even before I had a corporate job that demanded a lot of my time the consistency part was always a thing (i have always sort of intuitively thought it was a lifestyle issue??) . . . so after several fruitful weeks or in rare situations when I would persist for months I often become ‘weary in my well doing’ . . . this morning while reading I ran across a thought in richard foster’s book on prayer . . . (highly recommended) . . . foster offers some insight into the sociological and anthropological dynamics of living in a rural setting and those living in a more urban setting . . . (i like that kind of stuff) . . .

. . . anyway, foster points out:

“rural life tends to function around a daily cycle, whereas urban life tends to function around a weekly cycle. In the country there are chores to be done morning and evening – such as milking the cows and feeding the chickens. A daily prayer discipline makes good sense in this context. In urban life, in contrast, everything presses hard toward Friday – “TGIF”, as we say – and the weekends are much more discretionary. In this context it might make more sense to order a prayer life around a weekly pattern. Instead of feeling guilty that we cannot set aside time for prayer on a daily basis, perhaps it would be better to devote Saturday mornings, for example, to more extended [intense] experiences of prayer and devotional reading” . . . in typical foster style he then reaches back into antiquity and trumps his own terrific thought with that of a revered saint, church father/mother, or recognized authority on the issue at hand in this case he references benedictine (thought) rule . . . he continues . . . “once we have made generous latitude for individual differences and schedules, we must firmly discipline ourselves to a regular pattern of prayer. We cannot assume that time will somehow magically appear. On this score we have to be ruthless with our rationalizations. We must never, for instance, excuse our prayerlessness under the guise of “always living prayerfully.” john dalrymple rightly observes, ‘the truth is that we only learn to pray all the time everywhere after we have resolutely set about praying some of the time somewhere.’ . . .”

for me this is so liberating . . . mc laren refers to this same issue . . . by saying that exposure to things like prayer, bible study, etc. over shorter but more intense exposure performed only periodically as contrasted to long running over short sessions less intensely but consistent exposure over time may actually be the most effective method for practicing these life tempering disciplines . . . the point here for me is that it is apparent that God is working in my heart relative to these spititual disciplines of the historic christian faith . . . God is clearly working in my heart on these issues and for me that is a good thing . . . however, perhaps because of my own selfishness God can only work at the desire level of my spiritual formation . . . i am not effective here like i want to be . . . but He is working nevertheless . . .

john wesley once said that – “what we need is a desire know the whole will of God, with a fixed resolution to do it.”

. . . Lord have Mercy
. . . Lord have Mercy
. . . Christ have Mercy, and hear my prayer . . .

the peace of Christ be with you :::

::: morning reflections :::

2004-09-21T06:42:00.000-05:00

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I woke up earlier than normal today . . . I sort of ‘naturally’ feel more spiritual when that happens . . . over the last several months I have enjoyed the deepest levels of contentment . . . deep contentment . . . more than I have ever had in my life . . . that contentment has a lot to do with the alignment in my life . . . the more fundamental aspects of my life seem to be properly aligned ‘as they should be’ . . . or so it seems . . .

. . . there are however aspects of my life that seem as though they will NEVER be aligned properly, they seem somehow beyond . . . the depth of my personal prayer life is but one example of that alignment that is beyond reach . . . beyond fixing . . . my prayer life . . . someone once said that getting older and aging is just a series of losses that are endured over time . . . elements of my spiritual life certainly indicate that things like fasting, prayer, contemplation, and other similar spiritual practices . . . clearly I suck at many of the most fundamental aspects of the art of living as a Christ follower . . .

. . . however, i arose this morning with a desire to pray . . . and pray i did . . . and the reflection time was really good . . . however I can’t hardly remember the last time that i prayed I mean really prayed . . . i enjoyed this kind of quiet encounter . . . i am a weak follower of Christ . . . i typically only encounter Christ like this when i am guided by another . . . i can’t normally find my own way easily . . . I am a spiritual ‘groper’ . . . (one who struggles in the darkness) . . . this morning i was guided to Christ through the gentle words of kelly monroe, andy drietcer, and fred rogers . . . they contributed to a book several years ago entitled: Nouwen Then . . . an obvious play on words written as a reflection on the life and ministry of henri nouwen . . .

. . . someone that i highly respect once told me that when a person reads they are praying (augustine said that of singing . . . ‘if you sing you pray twice’ he said thus the chants in the early church) . . . its seems that its all about the willingness and submission to another’s thoughts . . . and our willingness to be taught . . . an attempt at learning, stretching, growing and our openness to change . . . for me those are some of the very real aspects of prayer . . . the authors I’ve mentioned spoke reflectively on henri’s life this morning and ushered me as a result into the presence of The One that loves me . . . who makes my eyes puddle with tears just by being nearer . . . close . . . not far away . . . for that i am especially grateful. . .

. . . over some semi extended period of time and i’m not really sure when it started i have begun to look back on my life . . . the looking back has been different than what i am use to . . . the looking back has been in relationship to ministry with people . . . God has been systematically opening door of ministry with broken people all around me . . . many of them having life controlling problems like drug addiction, deep emotional problems, martial stresses, physical abuse, uncharacteristically large mistakes from the past that still persist MANY years later . . . the looking back for me has been of such immeasurable value . . . particularly i keep finding scripture embedded within my heart from years of reading . . . I had great levels of frustration early on in the ‘ministry’ aspect of my life . . . for years while training to be a ‘professional minister’ i knew deep in my heart that i really had very little to nothing to say . . . that’s the truth . . . I had not come to substantive conclusions to the degree that i wanted . . . or that my psyche demanded . . . therefore I had very little to say . . . and for me ANY level of satisfaction is a break through . . . no matter how small . . . growth for me does not come quickly or easily . . .

. . . this morning i was reminded through the life of henri how important and powerful vulnerability is . . . and how critical genuine love is . . . i like everyone else deeply desire to be loved and accepted by those around me . . . at times i imagine that this desire within me is greater in my life than it might be in others making me actually a bit dysfunctional i guess . . . but nevertheless it is there in a powerful way . . . this drive to be loved and accepted by others has met with strong opposition . . . resulting in multiple periods of isolation and loneliness . . . much of this has been my fault i see as i reflected this morning . . . my fault because as henri correctly points out ‘while God’s sovereign goodness has allowed us to experience painful things in our lives . . . Christ himself invites us to embrace the pain . . . embrace our own brokenness . . . as He embraced the cross, and to live that life of painful embrace as a part of our mission’ . . .

. . . my tendency however is more often than not is to reject the pain and soul felt tenderness as a curse or displease from God rather than an acceptance of it as a kiss of loving kindness for my own purification and progressional sanctification . . . to often i forget that the God who created life itself . . . the God who created the galaxies . . . the God who cared enough to touch my soul as no one before had touched me . . . is actually bigger than the mistakes of His own children . . . that he was bigger than MY mistakes . . . bigger than what i have left undone . . . bigger than what i had not done . . . bigger than me . . .

. . . i have failed significantly at effectively being in genuine community with others . . . and much of that is a result of MY own failures . . . henri asserts (and I believe correctly) that the bedrock of community . . . the concrete that fuses community into place within our lives is the ability to forgive one another . . . that is practically impossible for a wounded disciple that is overly focused on his own tenderness and pain . . . . and in that environment community becomes increasing difficult (if not impossible) . . . instead Christ calls me through the words of henri nouwen to re-focus my efforts of community and missional living on forgiveness . . . forgiving ourselves and forgiving others . . . henri says:

‘as people who have hearts that long for perfect love, we have to forgive one another for not being for not being able to give or receive that perfect love in our everyday lives. Our many needs constantly interfere with our desire to be there for the other unconditionally . . . what needs to be forgiven? . . . we need to forgive each other for not being God . . .’

peace:::

::: bullshit detectors pegged to toxic levels :::

2004-09-20T12:51:00.000-05:00

. . . for years i have struggled with what i perceive as a conflict of interest in today's ‘professional ministry’ . . . for many of my friends the conflict is real . . . and a financial one primarily . . . you give me the money to be your pastor and i can’t say what i really want to because if i do you stop giving me money which i need to get my kids stuff . . . that conflict is one of several that prevented me from pursuing ‘professional ministry’ . . .

. . . so i am sort of a bastard child in the church . . . i was raised outside the church that means my thoughts and social habits are 'worldy' (whatever that means) . . . i went to seminary for education (so i know just enough to be dangerous) . . . and linda and i have been around long enough and been burned enough to know the dysfunctional nature that our mother the church possesses . . .

. . . in an article entitled: culture shock senator jeff piccola talks a lot about education these days, and one of his metaphors is the cliché about the carrot and the stick. senate majority whip piccola, believes that the vigorous use of sticks (read that as micro-management) will foster excellence in american classrooms, and he wants more sticks and fewer carrots used (sounds republican huh?) . . .the good senator from harrisburg pennsylvania believes in accountability . . . that is to say sticks — are the best method to improve teacher performance, which in turn will improve student performance in pennsylvania’s public schools . . . that got me to thinking about the use of sticks in the church . . . . . . i guess the point is piccola’s metaphor comes from the humphrey bogart movie the maltese falcon in the movie, sidney greenstreet offers a deal to bogart . . . and in typical bogart fashion, bogart asks. “why should i do this?” “for the same reason a donkey with a carrot in front and a stick in back goes forward instead of backward,” . . . bogart pauses and says, “tell me about the carrot.” . . .

. . . in a similar dynamic many postmoderns are saying to the church . . . “tell me more about the carrot” . . . or better said show me more about authentic virtuous living . . . we are sick of the attempts to motivate us by using a pulpit stick (your going to hell tactics). . . and to borrow from ernest hemingway he once put it this way when referring to his own writing, ‘in order to be a great writer [blogger] a person must have a built-in, shockproof bullshit detector’ . . . and that is very true of our relationship with the church today . . . we all must have shockproof bullshit detectors . . . (purpose driven of course) however the situation is that the bullshit detectors typically reside with many of the ‘number two’ guys/gals within the church structures . . . the assistants, and youth folks . . . the problem often is however that they number one rarely have an real or authentic voice at the table of decision-making and the directional meetings at the church . . . or wprse yet . . . because of financial conflicts they see issues but ‘can’t’ say anything because they fear being punished or silenced by financial sanctions . . .

. . . most postmoderns value authenticity . . . are we who we say we are . . . as mc laren, fleming and sweet correctly point out authentic postmodern ministry is emerging much more conversational and looks a lot more like a dialogue than the traditional sermon many of us are accustomed to in institutional churches allowing for greater insights into who we are hearing from in reality as opposed to a voice from the pulpit or worst yet a television screen . . . personalities like jim bakker, jimmy swagger, and jerry falwell, (i could go on but i am feeling ill at the thought of a purpose driven jerry falwell) have polluted the modern religious landscape (to our shame) . . . and the cashed mental images, sound bites and video clips of these men are the residual artifacts which remind us of the churches willingness to tolerate toxic levels of the fake and phony crap that unfortunately defines much of the modern christian sub-culture . . .

. . . as i am attempting to deconstruct these issues in my own life it is quickly becoming clear that the other source for reliable bullshit detectors are within the people themselves . . . and oddly enough its mainly the depenablly real unchurched variety . . . clearly joe q visiting pewsitter see the glaring inconsistencies within the church structure but often they cannot see what’s behind the proverbial curtain like in the wizard of oz . . . their hemingway bullshit detectors are ‘pegged’ to toxic levels and they know its all around them but they can’t see what’s manufacturing it all and their own innate insecurity about approaching religious issues with 'experts' prevent their natural abilities and insights in that environment preventing them from being more public . . .

. . .philip yancey’s rumors of another world says:

"i would rather be with someone who is real than someone who is good."

. . . most bloggers and emerging types have what hemingway described internally . . . and we all sort of intuitively know that the church environment is as it was in the day of amos . . . when there was a famine of hearing the word of God . . . at this point most of us would just settle for someone without an ulterior motive let alone a word from God . . .

. . . the only real trusted hermeneutic today is authenticity . . . bonded in crucible of relationship . . . earned over time . . . verified by mutual vulnerability . . .and that only exists in environments of true missional living . . . this issue scares me . . . here’s why . . . i am persuaded that there is a potential trap in everything we do whether as an act of our own or a reaction against something else . . . at the store it is my hope that i will be able to function within my pastoral gifting . . . with less financial conflict than if i were in a modern church setting with those sets of financial conflicts . . . however even the emergent reaction against the modern church is riddled with potential traps . . . mc laren says that . . . ‘i tend to notice that when people use the words “authenticity” and “community” a lot, both tend to leave the premises . . . it’s easy to use authenticity and community as new marketing tools to win customers to our product; as soon as that happens, we violate authenticity and community.”

at peace but famished for what’s real :::

::: life lived in fast forward :::

2004-09-17T12:50:00.000-05:00

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... i am consumed with 'stuff' it seems ... however my family and i are trying to be somewhat regular in observing the daily hours . . .

... not a lot of time to blog today ...

peace :::

::: perspective re-visited :::

2004-09-15T14:58:00.000-05:00

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" ... my budget is 1.2 Billion dollars, and 90% of that number represents people costs ..." when ever you hear these words bundled together the next words are somewhat evitable ... "cuts in our business are going to be significant in all segments and all business units ..."

... my 'day job' is being directly threatened …

... sam (a guy in prison doing 1-15 years) just called he has just been 'reclassified' and is becoming eligible for release possibilities . . . sexual assault, malicious wounding, sexual abuse, assault, controlled substance possession, narcotics charges … i could go on but i won't ...

… according to her dad nicole is going to ask me to lead an na meeting . . . for years I did not ‘give my testimony’ because I felt to do so was etremely difficult (if not impossible) because of the natural propensity to glory in my own shame by inappropriately 'lifting up' the 'good ole days' . . . which paul warns us not to do . . . this issue has oddly enough matured over the last 24 years 17 days into something different . . . however, it is no longer difficult because of the temptation to glory in my shame . . . the degree of shame has been properly assessed and proportional remorse is associated with my sinful past . . .but it has matured over time to the point that it could be more dangerous not tell now because the years that the canker worm had eaten have truly been healed and the significant evidences of my sin have dissapeared . . . the garden of my life no longer demonstrates that 'type' of damaged foilage or sin . . . and the potential trap for me has changed from being dangerous if i tell of telling to much . . . to being dangerous if i don't tell the story of God grace in my life . . . now that i am established it is socially distasteful for others to hear where God brought me from, and i might add that it always has been painful to look back to that person i was before Christ touched my soul . . . (and as Augustine said to his mistress of MANY years) . . . because i am no longer that person ... and it is for those reasons alone that i will 'testify' (by God’s grace) because it ‘smells’ like what God would want me to do … now there's a good post-modern theological argument ... because it smells like its what God wants ... and oddly enough i believe that . . .

… as you can see, my job related issues/problems in their proper perspective are merely inconveniences ... that I am grateful for . . .

peace :::

::: discovered gifting :::

2004-09-14T08:52:00.000-05:00

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. . . my son jonathan has been working toward rank advancements in the scouting program for a little of 2 years . . . it has been really good for him because it provides 2 essential elements that every kid needs . . . a challenge that is real (beyond the typical game cube game) . . . he hiked 15 vertical miles with a 40 lbs backpack on at age 12 . . . he has slept outside in 3 degrees below zero . . . and he has repeated had to wash dishes after meals for everyone in his patrol . . . he has been authentically challenged . . . the other essential element that every kid needs is real achievement . . . this is sort of where i am struggling . . . the troop has various leadership roles – positions and boys fill those roles . . . one of them is troop instructor . . . jonathan has worked toward that position for 7 months . . . if the truth be told I don’t know of any kid that has ever been required to work toward an assignment for 7 months of preparation . . . as a matter of fact I’m not even sure that is a reasonable requirement being asked of a 13 year old . . . did you have the temperment to work on one thing for 7 months when you were 13 . . . ??? i can tell you for sure that i didn't . . . i almost don't have that ability today!!! of the graduating eagle scouts that I know 7 months of planning did not take place for their eagle project . . .

. . . jonathan is discovering that he is a teacher by gifting . . . its really wild for me to watch him in that role he is a natural teacher . . . I wonder how God will use that gifting in his life now and later . . . I have 2 close friends in the troop they are both devout catholic brothers who possesses a lot of wisdom . . . with sharp decision making skill perfected in their jobs . . . they are both veteran emergency room physicians . . . I am leaning on them very heavily in several issues within the troop . . . the adult leadership team is acquiescencing in several areas and this is resulting in a leadership vacuum . . . which is not good . . . the troop is in a period of transition and as a result a power shift is occurring and that is always awkward . . .

. . . a guy that i have sort of mentored for 5 years has a new website . . . it is a rated site . . . meaning it is MA . . . for Mature Audiences Only . . . like all of us Jeremy is struggling to find the limits of what it genuinely means to follow Christ in an Urban setting like Washington DC . . . the answer that he has come up with ?? the URL of his website says it all . . .

peace :::

::: i do :::

2004-09-13T07:26:00.000-05:00

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. . . throughout all of our 22 years of married life linda and i have experienced significant struggles . . . i mean struggled with working out what the lines of demarcation are that define our marriage relationship . . . that has involved various levels of antidotal and dysfunctional behavior on both of our parts . . . typically that behavior was performed unknowingly by each of us, followed then by a sort of explosive identification process, then a sort of personal retreat (commonly as a result of pain), an inventory search, and subsequent reflection . . . interrupted by more of the behavior . . . then another round of more identification, inventory analysis and personal pain . . . this has been our ‘ugly method’ for years . . . and we have not been very willing to be vulnerable about the unsightly nature of that process and yet despite its ugly nature because of our mutual commitments to each other despite the pain and suffering we have caused each other our marriage over the last several years has changed . . . like a maturing garden those planted efforts and their residual effects are just now finally beginning to bear deep rooted (embedded) fruits that are beyond my abilities to articulate . . . on reflection i envision all of the sacramental elements of the church (experientially speaking they unknowingly) having similar qualities . . . unknowingly because I don’t fully appreciate them in their fullness . . . what they give us is only a glimpse . . . but its a glimpse nevertheless of what, who, why and how God extends His love toward us . . . truly marriage and its fruit (our children) . . . is a precious sacrament of the church and a genuine gift from God that is not always fully appreciated by it celebrants . . . i am sure that there are many times in my life where i have been in a similar situation with other sacraments . . . and failures on my part in appreciating those other sacraments of the church whether because of my level of intensity or the lack of mutual commitment to the relationship of missional living whatever the cause it has often limited my ability to push-through and reap the resulting fruit . . . that deeply concerns me going forward because it implies more failure . . . but it also helps me be sincerely grateful for the gifts I do have eyes to see . . .

thankful for the peace I have :::

::: jamaicans prepare for ivan but few evacuate :::

2004-09-10T10:04:00.000-05:00

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. . . my friends in jamaica are huddled in their homes . . . waiting for hurricane ivan . . . i called several of my friends to see how they were . . . most are huddled up at home . . . bracing themselves . . . please pray for their protection . . . particularly for billy, marsha, ivan, pete . . . duane and the children at the blossom garden orphanage . . . thanks!

praying for peace and safety for my friends in jamaica:::

::: a train load of details :::

2004-09-08T06:55:00.000-05:00

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. . . i woke up this morning and immediately sent out an email to my boss telling her that i would not be traveling to pittsburgh today . . . I have a ton of work that needs to be done before tomorrow . . . the president of the corporation that i work for is coming to pittsburgh for a visit and i can't go because i am planning to present written material to one of my customers executives tomorrow . . . this same customer had a 4 hour critical outage on Friday which required my full attention . . . the 2 hours travel time will kill my day . . . and I won’t get anything done in time for my meeting tomorrow . . .

. . . this week an announcement will be made at the office regarding cut backs in personnel . . . and a critical mass is being amassed for the grand re-opening at the store . . . ruth graham is coming for a book signing on the 25th of September . . . we hired carpenters to build a new register area because are moving the cash registers . . . we are creating a seating area and a leather love seat is being delivered on Monday of next week . . . the recently purchased bible leaves that will hang in the store to help people understand the story of english bible translations are also scheduled to arrive next week . . . the new exterior sign is being put up early next week . . . and a pastor in florida is creating a billboard like display for the 3 store windows . . . not to mention beginning an emerging church or postmodern section among the books . . . (a youth pastor that I really respect in the village came in yesterday and told linda how much he liked the new books) the internal merchandising has yet to be done . . . believe it or not there are tons of details behind this list of 'to do's' and action items . . .

. . . i am concerned that God may get lost in all of this . . . it’s a constant struggle for me to intensely work and run away (hide) from it and intensely read, pray, study, etc. . . . perhaps my real concern is more on loosing my focus on Him through the process of working the culture makes it very difficult to integrate these kinds of things into life as opposed to bolting them or attaching them like component pieces onto my life . . . i haven't read in a few days and i'm starting to feel it . . . i recently ordered nt wright's book the new testment and the people of God (thick, rich, and looks chewy) . . . i am pretty deeply into dallas willard's the divine conspiracy (I have had this book for 2 years and I’m just now reading it) . . . and i am still struggling through stanley grenz's beyond foundationalism and thomas merton’s new seeds of contemplation . . . both are difficult reads for me for different reasons grenz is academically challenging and the thoroughness of his arugments makes it a slow read . . . merton on the other hand is spiritually robust and reflective making it difficult to absorb unless taken in small bites . . . i guess it comes down to a capacity/processing issue of the reader (i too often feel like an old 386 processor) . . . I want to read them its just that the content is important and i want to remember the sequence and the order of thoughts as well as the thoughts themselves . . . both phyllis tickle and brian mc laren have new books coming out in the fall that I can’t hardly wait to read . . . I would really like to take a class this fall on the writings of st. thomas aquinas . . . there is a new book I found on his life and work that I would really like to dig into in a classroom setting (can't find it at the moment) . . . perhaps in the spring . . .

. . . last of the morning thoughts . . . this years republican national convention was protected by roughly 12,000 armed police officers . . . many of them were focused on a 20 square block area around the convention . . . and US troops in afganistan number around 18,000 to help cover a war-lord dominated frontier about the size of the state of texas . . .

peace :::

.::: post-protestant thoughts :::

2004-09-07T14:39:00.000-05:00

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. . . so much has happened this weekend i don't know where to begin . . . i typically blog later in the mornings after i have had an opportunity to gather my thoughts . . . i have gone to the site numerous times today and i just couldn't pull the trigger and begin putting my thoughts 'on paper' i think that is becasue i'm a little afraid of my thoughts . . . that's the truth . . .

. . . i have been on an epic of sorts theologically . . . those things that were stable for me are no longer stable . . . and i know deep within that this is primarily a reaction to overly restrictive thoughts and now i am simply testing the limits . . . like any (spiritually) adolesant son would . . .

. . . in days gone by i would be concerned about God's acceptance and approval of such thoughts today i am less worried about that becasue i know that God is far more parental and far more lovingly understanding of my lostness than i am . . .

. . . i went to a family reunion this weekend . . . i have a wonderfully large italian family that is loud, fun, loving, supportive, accepting, and many of them believe today as a result of my journey and the visual nature that my journey took over the course of years . . . I am what one of my cousins calls ‘the God person’ of our family . . . they all take the opportunity to speak positive things about God with me because they can . . . in a safe environment . . . and that’s a good thing . . .

. . . my situation is I am in a ‘theological swing’ and the nature of that swing includes a more liberal view of the toleration of sin and the depths of total depravity . . . that equals a very forgiving Father . . . some might argue too forgiving . . .

. . . I was in a ‘God’ conversation with my cousin’s wife (he is like my brother), their daughter, and their neice . . . two topics came up that were difficult . . . first and perhaps the easiest of the two were the daughter is getting married next year . . . she is marrying into a roman catholic family and she wanted my opinion about whether she should become a catholic . . . her father lsft the church many years ago and together we went exploring protestantism . . . with all of its stuff . . . she was raised in that environment and the thought of becoming catholic intimidates her . . . I told her to relax go to the rcia classes and she if it pleased God . . . her husband does not sound from her description to be devout but attends periodically . . . btw I think they live together today . . .

. . . as the discussion was introduced, progressed, and actions were considered the conversation was winding down . . . trust had been renewed from the absence of our last ‘get together’ so . . . the neice said I too have a problem . . . my brother that lives in ny city and that has lived in ny city for the last 18 years is a homosexual and has been involved in a monogamous relationship with a ny city police officer for the last 12 years . . . and I don’t know how God wants me to thing about that . . . how to I present that to my 11 year old son . . . I don’t want him to see that as a sexual option for himself and I don’t want him to look down on my brother . . . and btw what does God think of that isn’t that wrong . . . and if it is how do I continue to love my brother yet disapprove of the behavior/lifestyle . . .

. . . here’s the problem for me in this situation . . . I know all to well the religious ‘party-line’ on this issue . . . however my mind is changing rapidly in regards to how to handle them in a missional environment and how to answer those difficult questions . . . difficult because in a post-modern context, that is within a culture that does not place ‘inerrant value’ on the bible arguing from the bible as an authoritative resource only achieves limited success . . . typically in those cases I then appear to a logical or moral code that tends to be more universal in nature . . . (i.e. moral appeals against murder, rape, adultery, etc.) . . . the point here is that the appeal to this moral authority commonly accepted is only effective in limited measures . . . for example . . . in my mind it is next to impossible to argue from a logical position that a long term monogamous relationship that is homosexuality is morally wrong . . . it is however much easier to argue against homosexual relationships that are NOT monogamous using the same arguments against heterosexual relationships that are not monogamous . . . I then found myself in the uncomfortable position of defending the homosexual relationship in the conversation and advocating openness and acceptance of them . . . this is somewhat counter-intuitive for the ‘religious person’ that I have become over many years . . . my own conclusions concern me for obvious reasons . . . I am not as familiar with this issue as I want to be . . . as I need to be . . . they were looking to me for help and in an odd sort of way I felt like I let them down . . . BUT i am convinced that rejection is not the answer . . . neither is the ‘prioritization of sin preferences’ . . . if they reject this person . . . if I reject this person . . . if you reject this person they will no longer live in the sphere of our influence and us living in theirs

. . . i recently read an article on this subject in relevant that helped me frame my thoughts before this conversation took place . . . there is such an absence of dialoguing about sexual issues in most faith communities that a theological vacuum has been created . . . it seems that it all comes back to the fact that most christians have been taught that actually dialoguing about issues and asking questions that may even be threatening is wrong . . . I don’t think so . . . and furthermore . . . I believe that the sin is in not allowing honest and open discussion . . . that’s how we work through issues within the context of a community . . . as the relevant article correctly points out the simplistic conservative response about God creating adam and eve not adam and steve is frustrating at best . . . and doesn’t begin to approach this complex issue with any level of intellectual satisfaction . . . I find myself in the middle . . . i’m certainly not a conservative (jerry falwell type) on this issue and i’m not a liberal (barney frank type) either . . . i am a Christ follower attempting to live authentically in a post-modern context . . .

. . . I think that our country, our churches, and our families when facing this issue don’t need more books written on ‘marriage under fire’ . . . instead I believe we all need a solid dose of humility as we look deeply at our own sinfulness . . .

peace :::

::: corporate downsizing your way to ministry :::

2004-09-02T13:14:00.000-05:00

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. . . it was 12:30 this afternoon, i was eating a very light lunch with a work collegue discussing the conference call that is occurring at 3 today announcing additional downsizing in my work group . . .

. . . because of my length of service (9 years) chances are increasing that I will appear on that list . . . as we were discussing my future my cell rang it was a friend that is in a marriage crisis . . . this man has endured MUCH and SIGNIFICANT levels of pain in his marriage . . . we have been meeting for some time and recently he told me that his marriage was falling apart more quickly than he could repair it as time was progressing . . .

. . . I can’t help but wonder if this is not God’s hand moving me more towards the ‘jet stream’ of where I need to be spiritually . . . for the first time in my life i feel as though I have something to share with someone like my friend . . . for the first time in my life i feel as though a migration to an occupation where I can work ‘prescriptively’ with people in an environment that does not compromise the typical financial tensions that exist and I have resisted between pastors and their boards won’t exist in that form . . . is God moving me . . . if so how do ‘go with that movement’ . . .

. . . linda and I have been planning toward several things that will need to be de-prioritized if that is what God is doing . . .

. . . from a purely ministry perspective, nicole is out of gateway’s inpatient residential treatment center for detox and chemical dependency . . . she graduated this week from drug rehab . . . she is now a narcotics anonymous ‘meeting hound’. . . she is establishing new (healthy) interpersonal relationships and perhaps more importantly she is migrating into a new sub-culture that is much less dysfunctional . . . my friend with the marriage problems is semi hopeful from time to time . . . we are meeting more regularly . . . our family visited an episcopal church this past weekend and it 'fit' a lot better than any of the evangelical fellowships . . . we desire greater liturgy . . . there is NO PURPOSE DRIVEN anything happening there . . . stations of the cross perhaps . . . believe it or not jonathan (13 yrs . . . can you tell he likes java script?) he liked the liturgy too . . . a lot . . . because we have been doing the daily offices at home together for so long the liturgy fit really well . . . i think that was a great relief to linda . . . as is typical the ‘number 2’ guy there is really nice and appears to possess pastoral gifts . . . not administrative gifts . . . we are starting to meet with our friends again now that summer is over . . . dinners, football games, community around meals . . . that is a good thing . . .

. . . i am working really hard on several projects at the store . . . i am moving the cash registers from the center of the business to a sideline, this intentional move is to pull relationships and community to the center, i am attempting to put a new exterior sign up . . . and vinyl billboards in the front windows . . . the leather chairs have been delivered and the love seat is on the way . . . whatever happens . . .

the peace of Christ:::

::: green acres is the place to be, farm living is the life for me . . . :::

2004-09-01T09:09:00.000-05:00

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. . . i went to bed at around 2:30 this morning . . . my level of responsibility these days is at times nearly insurmountable between my 'day job' and the work required for the grand re-opening it has been very taxing these past few months . . . contracts, newspaper ads, signs being made, art work being created, new chairs being ordered, etc., etc., etc., . . .

. . . i woke up early this morning despite a late night to the sound of tractors . . . i live out somewhat and there is a good deal of farm land around our house and the farmers are preparing for harvest . . . right at the end of our road there is an orchard that sells apples, peaches, corn, tomatoes, and lots of other vegetables . . .

. . . as i laid in bed this morning listening to the diesel tractors and realizing that the harvest is upon us my mind wondered to the ot book of ruth . . . with its rich lessons of submission & patience under a state of bereavement . . . and sympathy with the afflicted and desolate . . . these are things that I have very limited skills sets in . . . enough to say that my spiritual life in this particular area is down right immature . . .

. . . many years ago i experienced what saint john of the cross called a “dark night of the soul” and to be very honest it scared me terribly . . . at the core of my being . . . it was through a place that i could not follow Him . . . as a result i removed myself from the process . . . i walked away from Christ . . . because I could not stand the pain . . . i am often secretly concerned that something bad is going to happen again . . . something with EXTREME effects into my world . . . perhaps I am just overly narcissistic and probably foolish enough not to understand the real meaning of God’s providential care . . . despite the pain and suffering . . . the core if this story in ruth is remarkable . . . and from this vantage point almost unbelievable . . .

. . . Lord, have mercy, Christ have mercy . . .

::: peace

::: a day of being the hunted :::

2004-08-31T09:05:00.000-05:00

.

. . . i woke up this morning and ran out of the house after linda, jonathan, and i observed the mornings daily hours . . . i am in pittsburgh this morning trying to get some stuff done at my "day job" . . . i feel like i'm sort of being hunted . . . i have customers that are looking for 'stuff' and i am so busy with other things that they are not getting what they need as quickly as they normally do . . . so i feel badly, and specifically i feel guility because its my fault not theirs . . .

: : : looking for moments of peace today . . .

::: out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks :::

2004-08-28T07:27:00.000-05:00

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. . . did i mention that love-able linda won an iPod !!!! (she gave it to me for father's day) . . . and i'm just getting it out and loading it . . . that's crazy i know . . .

. . . special thanks to steve for putting this passage on his blog . . . i have been struggling with Protestantism and specifically evangelical Protestantism for some time now (i sort of think it might have been wiser to call my blog post-evangelical thoughts) . . . there are so many places to start i'm not sure where to begin . . . martin luther him myself prayed with/to mary for 10 years AFTER the reformation . . . the bible of the evangelical movement (kjv) INCLUDED the books like Baruch, 1 Maccabees and 2 Maccabees , and Sirach. . . the concept of a pre-, mid, or post millennial rapture was non-existent until about 150 years ago . . . yet we are arrogantly convinced and insist that we possess the truth . . . listen to the wisdom in Sirach Chapter 28 . . .

4 Should a man refuse mercy to his fellows, yet seek pardon for his own sins?

9 Commits the sin of disrupting friendship and sows discord among those at peace. 10 The more wood, the greater the fire, the more underlying it, the fiercer the fight; The greater a man's strength, the sterner his anger, the greater his power, the greater his wrath.

12 If you blow upon a spark, it quickens into flame, if you spit on it, it dies out; yet both you do with your mouth!

14 A meddlesome tongue subverts many, and makes them refugees among the peoples; It destroys walled cities, and overthrows powerful dynasties. 15 A meddlesome tongue can drive virtuous women from their homes and rob them of the fruit of their toil;

17 A blow from a whip raises a welt, but a blow from the tongue smashes bones; 18 Many have fallen by the edge of the sword, but not as many as by the tongue.

24 As you hedge round your vineyard with thorns, set barred doors over your mouth; 25 As you seal up your silver and gold, so balance and weigh your words. 26 Take care not to slip by your tongue and fall victim to your foe waiting in ambush.

. . . i guess that my main point here is that any theology taken to its logical conclusion will end in heresy . . . and that includes protestant evangelicalism . . . to argue that these (at least historical books) are not included in the canon of scripture is one thing to ignore them for is quite another . . . in my mind an arguement could be made against reading anything else of this modern era before reading them . . . but we have pursued a trajectory which started at limiting them to ignoring them and that is a repeatable pattern so prevalant in protestant evangelicalism . . .

. . . enjoying the peace that God grants reading ALL of the scriptures . . . ;)

::: lingering post-protestant thoughts :::

2004-08-27T11:33:00.000-05:00

. . . my sense may be all wrong but for many 'emerging types' the subject of retirement is not as prevalant as it is with boomers because many emergent folks they are attempting to establish themselves not retire . . . i'm looking more closely everyday at these important issues . . . and this sincerely concerns me . . . these are allan greenspan’s comments today . . .

"If we have promised more than our economy has the ability to deliver to retirees without unduly diminishing real income gains of workers, as I fear we may have, we must recalibrate our public programs so that pending retirees have time to adjust through other channels," Greenspan said in prepared remarks at an annual symposium. If we delay, the adjustments could be abrupt and painful."

. . . my political views are morphing as quickly as my religious views . . .

. . . have a great weekend everyone . . . peace and blessings!

::: postmodern monasteries :::

2004-08-26T11:39:00.000-05:00

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. . . this is has for me a 'ring of truth' that i have not heard for quite a while . . . listen and enjoy . . .

::: peace

::: looking to know Him better :::

2004-08-25T09:19:00.000-05:00

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... i am communicating with scott hahn from steubenville university on his availability with a talk and book signing at the store during the 1st quarter of ’05 ... scott is a catholic theologian who converted to catholicism years after attending the same seminary that i attended in boston ... i am looking forward to our conversations progressing . . .

… I spoke with a friend Monday evening about my migration path through this post protestant emergent and as we spoke i became even more convinced that the potential theological differences are not even close to a state of being disruptive to me at this point in my progression … a close and trusted friend glenn murry once said that ‘believers today know more theology than most of the apostles, and disciples could have ever known' and they actually walked with Christ physically . . . . however their impact in incomparable to ours … if you stop and think about it you realize quickly that is true … clearly, many of the apostles and disciples were not privy to things like john’s revelation for example, nor did they have the collected works of the others assembled together in what we call the bible or scriptures, that' not to mention the assembled implications of those writings … BUT … their focus was not exclusively, nor I might argue even primarily on the theological issues but rather their focus was primarily on issues of spiritual growth and character development, and these issues were tested immediately in the cauldron of with their own willing to become martyrs for the cause of Christ . . . issues like transubstantion vs. consubstantion were not paramount when compared to the testing of martyrdom and the missional essence of their lives lived for The Christ which would ultimately have both an immediate and a long term effect to the cause of Christ . . . issues like the chemistry and philosohical make-up of the wine and bread are they the actual body and blood of Christ . . . even the liturgy itself says that this is THE great mystery of the church . . . let’s assume that we do know definitively which position is right … in my mind the problem is that statement would be all that we could know … if we look at the knowledge which is comprehensible we still have the greater proportions of knowledge that is incomprehensible which is incomparably much greater than that which is knowable . . . thus the mystery . . .

. . . the bottom-line for me is that we can articulate our assumed or even perferred position, and even the position of the church, however no one except for Christ and His own words can speak with deductive certainty . . . that is logically not possible according to the limitations of inductive reasoning by which we must work … even if as a roman catholic if i accept the ultimate authority of the church how do we move forward with intelluctually honesty and not assume that the same authoritative positions and the resulting logical faults that occurred with the phasisee and sadusees isn't happening with the modern church ... you can't (in my opinion) therefore I am concluding that it is of little or no consequence to ‘argue’ these point if the church in her wisdom says that it is in fact the actual body and blood of Christ, fine I’ll reflect on that, i'll submit to that teachings conclusion in so much as that is possible ...

... but the only thing that i can conclusively say about this remarkably complex spiritual issue is that i am personally very thankful and grateful for the actual work and merits of Christ’s cross, I am equally grateful for this signature event we normmally described as the eucharist, or holy communion . . . and it is my privilege to simply participate in its remarkable effects . . . period.

… it is from that starting point that I am beginning my journey . . . my most fundemental questions are not theological in nature but rather ... i want to know Him, how do i cultivate my life of devotion to Jesus, what is the historic path which has been trod before me, that i can pursue and spend the passion of my life toward the end of knowing Him …(did someone mention something about serving the poor? oops, sorry that's another roman catholic term that has very little to do with theological debate in the modern context) … how can i merge the actual substance of the liturgy into my daily life experience, what habits can i ‘practice’ (?) that will substantively deepen my devotion to The Christ . . . how do i love Him better, perhaps at all ... my personal experience with the ‘religious’ world indicates that these sorts of answers are very rare and an extremely few number of people genuinely have even dim visions of them (particularly when compared to their low cost highly prolific theological cousin that is more prevalent than desired) … but … if the roman catholic church is ‘naturally’ more given to reflective, introspective, and contemplative issues related to spirituality and this type of spiritual formation particularly when compared to their protestant counter parts and the popular 'thin crust' experience of the modern evangelical church, it seems logical that i or anyone else interested in such issues would attempt to expose themselves to individuals or groups of individuals that share these natural inclinations … at least that my thought . . . and i'm open to correction . . .

:::may the real peace of Christ be with you . . .

::: The Prince of Peace :::

2004-08-24T07:51:00.000-05:00

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... lots of things on my mind this morning ... i awoke at something after 5 and couldn't (wouldn't) go back to sleep ... printed out some bibble passages from key word search ... looking at the biblical images presented so that wisdom for personal transition/change can be found ... i have been going through several different things (the currents and jet streams deeper in my soul) ... and because of the complexity related to my personality type ... i'm not sure that i'll be able to blog about this for some time primarily because i don't understand it yet ... and particularly until i gain some traction, i am both weak and fragile in this ... the bible indicates that confession is good for the soul ... perhaps confession would be a way toward strength ... but who can hear my confessions, better said who can take it? too often when i REALLY confess someone will often correct me and say something about just relaxing and accepting God's love and acceptance because of the confessions intensity ... i'm doing some word studies looking for insights ... and i'm looking to God for help in overcoming the social defilement that accompanies it ... if you would please whisper a prayer for me ...

::: trusting in the Prince of Peace

::: hey, would you like to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior :::

2004-08-23T07:36:00.000-05:00

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... yesterday i finally got my bike out and rode it ... only about a half hour or so but it finally came out of the garage ...

... the bike had a flat front tire so last week i took it to the bike shop for a new inner tube ... the store owner was very 'attentive' so i thanked him for his helpful and added that he must be the store owner because he was so helpful ... he was the owner with his wife ... we had a brief discussion and he began explaining (in a preaching style that was familiar) how important the support of small businesses is ... he appreciated my business and he went on to explain how his son who also works at the store also shares this passion for small business survival ...

... he went on telling me that he and his wife has 3 sons and a daughter all of which are preparing to go back to college at the same time ... 1 of his sons shares this family passion for the gospel of small businesses and he started telling me how son number 2 recently took out his girl friend to 'the city' for an evening out ... the next morning, son number 1 begins drilling son number 2 with questions about his dating spending habits, and which 'chain restaurant' did he take his girl friend to … 'it certainly wasn't a family owned restaurant that's for sure . . .'

… the reason for this story is important is dad begins now using the story to … ‘evangelize’ me about the merits of small businesses and the importance of small business to the american economy … he asks where i'm planning to eat lunch ... if i've ever eaten at the place across the street that his friend owns ... i guess my point here is that the merits of small business to the american economy can really be argued with great effectiveness (and its likely we would not probably disagree about that) … HOWEVER … while it is likely that i would agreed with most of the content he was ‘preaching’ i really felt offended by his approach … and i think that is exactly the way people feel when we try and 'win them to Christ' . . .

…that got me to thinking about ... the traditional approaches to evangelism ... in the ic the shotgun approach has always been one of the most popular, shoot off scripture passages and hope that the words hit something in the mind/heart of the people we are ‘witnessing to’ and perhaps that will provide the foot hold to force a further discussion that will result in a kill or foreskin like 'born again' result . . . hey, would you like to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior? BOOM!! … if not would you like to buy some amway products instead?… or the equally ineffective method of quietly living the life of faith for others to see (with that manipulation in mind) EXECEPT the life lived is so isolated within the christian sub-culture that NO ONE SEE IT or even cares, i'm out on that whole thing for sure ...

… is it safe for me to say i'm not trying to win anyone to Chrsit? BUT, i do want to live a more meaningful missional life . . . the idea being living WITH those AMONG us and discovering who ALREADY believes regardless of lifestyle preferences … people san see if we SINCERELY like/love them and people san see if we use manipulative (amway like sales) tactics or ulterior motives of ‘winning them to Christ’ as we engage them rather than from a position of real appreciation for who they are as people and IF something happens then we are there to develop and discuss it … BUT THAT IS NOT THE OBJECTIVE OF THE RELATIONSHIP …

… the point that i am feebly attempting to make here is that this discussion with the bike shop guy regarding his national economic strategy and his particular preference for small businesses is a lot like the evangelism tactics and the resulting manipulative discussions that the modern church encourages … in this case it was not about ‘winning someone to Jesus’ but the value of small businesses being preached … conversationally i was very uncomfortable and i saw real parallels for sure to ic style of evangelism …

… it seems to me that the real substantive difference between these approaches is about the motivation and ‘beginning with the end in mind’ … if a person perceives me as ‘presenting a solution’ to a problem or a situation that she/he doesn’t have and didn't ask me to comment on that’s evangelism … and in my opinion that both looks and feels really bad to everyone but the preacher, and generally it a huge waste of everyone’s time except the preacher … on the other hand, if a person see us as a real friend, having our own endearing qualities of personality (God forbid!) and our friendship results in greater trust and higher personal appreciation for each other that is real … and that’s missional living … it both looks and feels great … the real differentiator it seems is the genuine desire for relationship without manipulative motives as the end in mind, and certainly not a verifiable kill …

::: peace

::: hillbilly heroin :::

2004-08-21T09:42:00.000-05:00

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... i don't normally blog on saturdays ... i'm home alone ... jonathan is at a campout ... linda is at the store ... i'm reading blogs this morning and trying to catch up ... i went to wanderings of a post-modern pilgrim and it brought me to a place of reflection this morning ... as an adolescent thought my teenage years and well into my twenties ... i was severely addicted to drugs and my drug of choice was dilaudid ... (just like today's hillbilly heroin) ... anyway, i clicked a few links on that website and found crystalrecovery.com and thought of some old faces ... i called an old friend who knew me before i met Christ ... he was working ... standing in the middle of xxx-mart ... on his cell phone ... i told him that i was thinking of him ... nicole and i have been talking again ... last week i got her to go to treatment ... again ... this time she is trying it as an inpatient ... her heroin addiction is pretty out of control ... i got this doctor that i am friends with to write her a script for something to . . . get her over the hump . . . it seems like it worked . . . she's in isolation for 72 hours . . . and she can't see her family or anyone else . . . since i am her 'spiritual advisor' they let me see her . . . we talked, she cried, we prayed . . . Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy . . .

. . . take a look at the poem i found on the recovery site (thanks to the pmpilgrim's link)

DIRE ADDICTION
It gives me life, but it brings me death.
It is my best friend, but it is my worst enemy.
It makes me happy, but it brings me sorrow.
It helps me get through the day, but it makes life not worth living.
It gives me strength, but it makes me weak.
It helps me think, but it makes me lose my mind.
It helps me get ready, but it makes me ugly.
It makes me hot, but it makes me cold.
It gives me energy, but it gives me no motivation.
It helps me love, but it makes me hate.
It makes me popular, but it makes me alone.
It helps me to see clearly, but it makes me blind.
It makes me creative, but it destroys my dreams.
It makes me immortal, but it brings me fatality.
It gives me hope, but it makes life hopeless.
It gives me control, but it controls me.
It gave me peace, but it took it all away.
It is my addiction, but it is my downfall.
It is my everything, but it is nothing!
- B.F. from Crystal Recovery

. . . God said that He would restore the years that the canker worm had eaten . . . and that has been proven to be true in my own life and in the lives of millions before and after me . . . HOEVER, before the restoration can take place the canker worms must be removed from the gardens of our lives . . . or there cannot be a restoration/recovery . . .

::: gratefully, living with Peace today . . .

::: church says girl's communion not valid :::

2004-08-20T09:40:00.000-05:00

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... if you have read my blog before you will know that there are two very significant things happening in my life . . . my wife and i recently bought a bookstore, and i am on a personal journey that includes a migratory path away from my spiritual birth place the protestant church . . . a concerned friend sent me an email last night and included this article and asked/challenged (gently) if THIS is what I wanted to be apart of . . . let me say from the onset that it appears to me that the roman church is in a very unfortunate situation with this, and it also appears likely that the paper featuring this article is being motivated perhaps primarily by greed and sensationalism not truth . . . this is obviously and very unfortunate . . . and while reading this (i am not roman catholic) however i am convinced that after great deliberation (probably more than most people are comfortable with) the church WILL resolve this issue for these select few individuals that suffer from this terrible disease . . . we could discuss our own willingness as believers or our lack thereof to submit to injustice (calvin’s eloquent on this topic by the way) but perhaps we’ll defer that issue to another blog . . . (note the sarcasm)

. . . this story is sad on 2 fronts . . . it’s certainly sad for the girl and her family, but for me personally it highlights what’s ahead for me personally . . . and what many of my roman catholic friends endure daily . . . this friend of going on 10 years (and at times my own wife) has at times really misunderstood my journey/migration . . . my friend has incorrectly concluded that i will be unable to detect the flaws, imperfection, and sin inherent in the roman catholic church as i attempt to increase my fellowship with them . . . (meanwhile my mostly internalized criticism of the protestant church is and has been at dysfunctional levels for far to long to the point of becoming personally sinful if the truth be told) . . . i guess my point real here is that if this close/old friend and my own wife can so easily misunderstand my spiritual intentions and the desires of my heart to be closer to Christ, and to explore the ENTIRE body of Christ how easily will those that i simply have a casual relationship with misunderstand . . . this situation focuses my point even stronger in a silly sort of way . . . and here is what i mean . . .

. . . generally speaking, when i read the nt i see john’s regenerated personality as being . . . gentle . . . loving . . . understanding . . . welcoming . . . etc . . . richard foster makes the point that this spirit/attitude/personality type was transferred in sorts to the roman church (and I concur) . . . therefore when i encounter my devout roman catholic friends it is little wonder that they are more like what I read as 'john’s style' . . . my protestant friends however are all to often much firmer, with greater propensities toward spiritual corrections, more given to conditionally accepting others, and quick to pull out a scripture passage to condemn and use it against a brother or sister rather than allowing grace to rule as paul illustrates with the issue of differences over eating meats offered to idols . . . i believe that this is an intrinsic flaw within the protestant movement in general . . .

. . . albert einstein speaking on the subject of mental trajectory and thought processes said that 'where you begin determines where you end' . . . that has sort of a leverage point in my mind because if that is as true as i think it is . . . i am not convinced that the protestant reformation was as ‘good’ as many believe it to have been . . . if you believe in general revelation theologically, then logically it follows that you also believe that individuals can look within creation and see unbelievers and believers (as a part of that creation) reflecting evidences of godliness, goodness and virtue reflecting the Ultimate Good (aquinas) . . . therefore it is hard for me to imagine people like nelson mandela, mahatma gandhi, or even the rev. martin luther king jr, breaking off relationship with the church as luther did . . . despite the levels of corruption . . . these 3 men exemplified non-violent change management within existing and corrupt overly authoritarian systems . . . i believe that (assuming that the roman church was in its essence corrupt) reform gandhi or king style reform would have been much more ‘healthy’ in the long run FOR EVERYONE . . . and it seems that to argue differently (for a separation styled reformation) is similar to arguing against Jesus and the churches own teaching on divorce or other types of relational conflict resolution . . . it is an admission and acceptance of failure on the parts of protestants . . . (i’m realizing as I am typing that i am forming an argument against the protestant church for the first time) . . . my point here is that if einstein is right (and I believe he is) it is no wonder that protestants are so theologically comfortable with believing that their criticisms and spiritual corrections of others is so right (i’m not articulating this very well but you get the point) . . . it is no wonder that when you go into a group of devout catholics you generally speaking do not receive the near immediate versions of 'spiritual' correction like so often occurs in many protestant circles . . . because where you begin determines where you end . . . becasue luther/protestantism began with criticism is it any wonder it is intrinsically a part of their dna . . .??

. . . I am suggesting that the dna of the protestant church is/was corrupted from the beginning of the movement . . . broken and/or flawed if you will and biologically it produced a basis of spirituality that was equally broken . . . it is difficult for me to mentally process how that is logically different from the original corruption that existed within the roman church to begin with . . . accept it was a protestant version of corruption . . . which as we all know our own corruption is not nearly as bad as someone else’s . . .

::: preferring peace . . .

::: the temperature is lowering and that only means one thing :::

2004-08-19T10:25:00.000-05:00

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… it is likely that this will make no sense to you but that's okay for me because it will make sense to God ...

… several months ago I invited my older brother and his family to meet my family at a half way point between where we both live . . . the chosen place was Ohiopyle state park . . . we camped over the week-end and went white water rafting … long story shorter my nephew was the first to be ‘popped’ out of the raft into the white water . . . my brother was immediately the next one out into the foam . . . and as soon as I retrieved my brother my nephew was out again . . . he lost his shoe the second time and paddled shoeless the rest of the day … the reason this is on my mind this morning is a friend recently pointed out his observation of my enjoyment when it comes to being ‘knee deep’ in the things that are about God . . .

… that a fair assessment … and I think an accurate one too … that bring to mind the thought that I really prefer the ‘white water’ approach to serving God … lots of action, tons of risk, helping others, tasting the overflowed splashes of life . . . I think that this is what Jesus was talking about when He said that He didn’t come for the healthy, He didn’t come for the religious, He didn’t come for the well . . . He came for people that were being splashed and popped out of the boat of safety and acceptance . . .

. . . i love white water following . . . it makes me KNOW that I’m alive . . . despite the fact that I’m scared too . . . it ‘evidences’ that God and faith is REAL . . . it speaks of the genuineness of who He is . . . it communicates in unquestionable terms that this is not just a fable or a cute story . . . He is really alive . . .

… the temperate in western Pennsylvania is dropping and that only signals one thing . . . white water weather at ohiopyle . . . no wonder they call it the ‘WOW version’ . . .

::: peace at least while in the boat . . .(smiling)

::: direction :::

2004-08-18T09:53:00.000-05:00

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... interesting thought...

... the intellect is NOT free, but the will is free ...

... interesting article ... at the first things website ...

:::peace

::: nightmare am experience :::

2004-08-17T09:21:00.000-05:00

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... linda and i re-financed our house several months ago and in the process of doing that i also took out an additional line of credit ... i have been through a customer service NIGHTMARE with this whole thing ... its not even 9am and i'm on the verge of going nuts . . . this guy (who owns the company) has NEVER returned my call after 3-4 weeks of my attempts ...

... when i called this morning the owner was 'about to go into a meeting with bakers' and would not take my call ... i told the person on the other end of the phone that i would hold ... after 3-4 weeks this guy had again decided to de-prioritize my issue and prioritize other issues above mine and after repeated promises to call me back with a status he has never dialed my phone ... after all of this waiting he told me if i didn't stop calling him and tying up his phone line nothing would get done ...

... i can't even begin to say how bad this has been ...

::: looking for more peace

My Yahoo!

2004-08-16T09:54:00.000-05:00

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... been on My Yahoo! ; CNN; and several of the bloggers i read in the mornings with coffee ... GREAT news scotty, heather, mikah and kiara have a new member in their tribe ... congrats again!

... i have a customer that flew into pittsburgh this morning and wants to meet for lunch ... i have to leave the 'bunker/office' ...

... things are progressing at the store ... we bought a bright red rug for the kids area, and some 3 foot nylon leaf like things to hang over the area ... great colors ... earth tone yellow walls, surrounded by earth tone fudge, with a bright red rug and bright green leaves ... now off to create a counter top for the registers ... that's gonna be a HUGE project ...

... i'm running today not much time to write ...

::: peace

::: i'd like to buy a bible :::

2004-08-13T09:38:00.000-05:00

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... often people come into the store and want to buy a bible . . . when they are asked which version they are looking for they commonly say with a tone of disbelief that i am even asking the question . . . the original (with a voice inflection ~ of course). . . the problem is that many people are not aware that the bible was written in other languages and that the kjv is not the original . . .

... i've been thinking for some time how i can help educate people in the buying process and make the lesson stick! to that end i have been in various conversations with multiple 'bible vendors' both new and old . . . for example i have been taking to a guy from the maker of the thompson chain reference bible and he is going to get me whole uncut sheets of a bible page as it is printed before it is folded and cut . . . (sort of like an uncut sheet of $20 dollar bills from the mint) . . . i am also talking with several folks that sell ancient bible 'leaves' . . . the price variance is staggering . . . a 1611 kjv is of course a standard that i want to have framed and in the store for illustrative purposes . . . i am thinking of getting examples of tyndale since it was the first real english translation, i would also like to get an original geneva leaf, a gutenberg (fascimile), and for my catholic friends a rheims which was rome's reaction to the geneva . . . ebay has what looks like some really good buys ...

Gutenberg (Facsimile)
Tyndale (Facsimile)
1549 Matthews (Generic Page)
1560 Geneva Pulpit Folio
1568 Bishops' (Generic Page)
1611 KJV Pulpit Folio

:::peace

::: the weaknesses of a parent and the roman catholic position on scripture :::

2004-08-12T10:45:00.000-05:00

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... if you have children are you aware of the situations where you as a parent are required to manage certain situations with the kids and your level of management (which may be unfair if the truth be told) is in direct proportion to your own weaknesses as a parent? because at times i lack the character required to do an adequate job of properly influencing my own son, to my shame i default to methods of coercion. maybe i'm the only parent that has unfortunately had to operate under these fallen conditions (not) but i am usually very displeased with myself when it happens but it does happen . . . and we ultimately get through it ...

… i am working on a little package for customers who are interested in buying bibles but have little understanding of the bible, like what a version is this makes buying one difficult for them becasue there are so many choices … periodically people come into the store and when asked which version they want they say “the original” … i know what they mean (sometimes) most of the time that means they want a kjv … at times they are very surprised to find out that the ‘original’ was written in greek and hebrew … long story shorter i am buying come original copies of bible leaves (tyndale, geneva, etc.) to demonstrate what printed forms the bible has taken over the years … kind of fun for a guy like me and hopefully good for the customers too ...

… anyway i have this book that I am reading (spiral bound workbook format) from a guy named dr. craig lampe it is entitled the forbidden book … the position that this book takes on the roman catholic church is so personally offensive that i cannot begin to explain it, at a minimum he is the quintessential protest-ant that brian mclaren hopes we will move beyond as emerging believers in a post-modern context …

… the point i am struggling to make is that i am wondering what the ‘parental’ position was at that time … what was the mindset of the roman church? as someone that has been schooled in protestant positions/view points i am simply wondering what the roman position is and was at the time … clearly they are not the polemic arch villains that many protestants make them out to be … they were really believers making poor decisions at times to do whatever it took to maintain control (regretablly that sounds a lot like me all to often with my own family members) serious mistakes have occurred with protestants and catholics ... within the protestant movement (i won’t rant to heavily on the protestant support of american slavery and the subsequent opposition of the civil rights movement, or the disproportional excesses of protestant legalism, or perhaps worst than all the intrinsic flavors of narcissism present within Protestantism generally, and specifically the putrefied versions found in modern evangelical protestantism) ... ranting high water mark detected ...

… i am imagining an attempt on the part of the roman church to manage (poorly by coercion i might add but manage nevertheless) the whole known/visible church … in an increasingly secularized society ... they were losing control ... something any parent of a teenager should easily understand ... as I mentioned earlier I can’t even manage my own family who am i to criticize the management of that whole mess … EVERY STORY HAS 2 SIDES … I WOULD SIMPLY LIKE TO LEARN THE OTHER SIDE IN A SAFE NON-THREATENING, NON JUDGEMENTAL AND INTELLECTUALLY HONEST EVNIORNMENT . . . (smiling) I don’t think I’ll get that at rcia next month . . .

... btw, if Jesus is right ... then how could protestantism be 'good' unless the roman church posessed goodness too . . . clearly the roman church begat the protestant church ... we can't have it both ways can we?

::: peace